Stars & Leaves
by StripedHatter
Summary: [Sequel to Black Dogs & Green Trees]. Beginning two months after the close of BD, this volume of Sirius and Hazel's story takes them through to the end of the First Wizarding War. As battles rage and danger grows and love blossoms and children are born, a constant struggle between life and death intensifies- and Hazel, caught in the middle of it, fears she'll lose Sirius...
1. Chapter One

_**Part One: 1977**_

Chapter One

 _Two months later…_

"James has been attacked by Voldemort!"

I leapt to my feet, seeing the panicked look on Sirius's face. He stared at me with widened eyes for only one more heartbeat before he took off again back downstairs, with me close behind him.

In the Potters' living room, James Potter was stretched out on the couch, a deep gash across his cheek pouring blood. He looked up at Sirius as we entered the room and said, "Sirius, I have to tell you something- it's important."

Sirius raced over to his best friend, kneeling beside the couch while Euphemia paced quickly. Fleamont was nowhere to be found, same with Lily; I supposed they had apparated somewhere to get help. Sirius leaned close to James and asked, "James, what is it?"

"I…" He paused, coughed up a small spurt of blood, and said, "I suppose you could call this a _tongue-in-cheek_ situation."

"James Potter," Sirius growled through gritted teeth, "I am going to defenestrate you."

"Sirius, my friend," James replied, "Have mercy on me."

Sirius rolled his eyes, glancing over his shoulder at me. "James is fine."

He stood to leave, and James reached out a hand. "Sirius, no! I'm dying! Who else is going to listen to my awful jokes!"

A _pop_ echoed through the room, followed shortly by another. Lily had arrived with Madame Pomfrey, the harried nurse immediately bustling over to James. She glanced over the wound, and then jolted as two more pops came through- Fleamont and Dumbledore.

"This is all because of _your_ order, Albus!" Euphemia screeched, a surprising hostility from the middle-aged witch to a man I was certain had once been her headmaster. Dumbledore regarded her calmly as she continued, "Had you not permitted such young witches and wizards in here, this would never have happened! My boy should not be facing the likes of the _Dark Lord himself!_ How would you like it if I put _your_ most treasured child into such danger?"

"Mum, I'm your only child," James mumbled, and Madame Pomfrey glared at him.

"Stop moving," she hissed sternly.

Euphemia continued, "I will see to it myself that you are never allowed to teach at Hogwarts again! Raising armies like this-"

"Mrs. Potter," Sirius interrupted, "Please, it isn't Dumbledore's fault. If anything, blame Hazel- she's the one who recommended us to him!"

"Sirius!" I gasped, and Euphemia whirled on me.

But her tone was surprisingly gentle. "Hazel, darling, now I don't blame you. You're only trying to do what's best for your family and loved ones." She turned to Sirius. "But as for _you-!_ Well, no, I can't blame you either." She wilted then, sighing. "I suppose I'm only frightened for my boy's health. I don't like any of this." She wrapped her arms around herself. "None of it at all."

"None of us do, Mrs. Potter," Lily said, wrapping a gentle arm around the worried mother. "Come with me, let's go have a cuppa, yeah? Calm you right down…"

The two women exited, and for a moment I envied Lily's gentle nature- and then I tried to picture her in a fight, and couldn't, and lost my envy. I liked being the fighting type. I turned back to look at James, who was no longer bleeding. Madame Pomfrey drew her wand across his cheek, and the wound closed, leaving a scar.

"Now," Madame Pomfrey said, "That gash cut through your cheek. It's going to scar, and you'll probably have that scar for life."

"Wicked," James said tiredly, and I saw Sirius roll his eyes.

Madame Pomfrey gave James one more stern look, before her features softened and she smiled. "Take care of yourself, alright? You're right lucky Lily knew where to find me- I'm usually out of the country by now." She looked up at Dumbledore. "Should anyone need me, I'll be in Bordeaux for a while, visiting a cousin. Owl me any time, or apparate if it's urgent."

Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you, Madame Pomfrey."

She stood then, and apparated away with another _pop._ James sat up stiffly, and Sirius immediately came over helped him up. Just as he was upright, someone burst through the door. Sirius, Dumbledore, and I all had our wands out and a defensive stance by the time the intruder burst through- Remus, followed closely by Peter.

"Why did no one _tell_ me?" Remus burst out, looking intensely at James. "I only just heard- and that from Marlene who heard from Mad-Eye who heard from Jeffrey who happened to overhear Fleamont tell Dumbledore. That's _my_ best friend, too!"

Remus then finally looked at James. "What happened? I thought they said Voldemort blasted a hole through his face."

"He did," James said. "You only just missed Pomfrey. She sealed me up, and now I've got a _wicked_ scar."

"Brilliant," Remus deadpanned, collapsing into an armchair, exhausted. "Just when I think my friend is dead, he's cheering about his wicked scar."

"Lot of use of that word today," I noted, and Sirius just looked at me and shrugged.

"So, w-what- I mean, what happened?" Peter stammered, "W-with…" He dropped his voice to a whisper, " _You-know-who?"_

"I've been wondering that myself," Dumbledore commented, leaning casually against the wall. Euphemia re-entered the room then, using her wand to carry two chairs over to the couch, where she and Lily sat. Seeing no other option, I simply sat on the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table from the couch. Sirius chuckled softly at me and I shrugged, and then all eyes were on James.

James opened his mouth to speak, his eyes on the table. It was all too easy to see the memories flashing behind the colorful irises. And then he spoke. "I, um, I was scouting that alley you mentioned the other day," he glanced pointedly at Dumbledore. "The one you told us not to go in. Mad-Eye hadn't scouted it yet, and I was getting impatient. I knew I wouldn't be seen-"

"How?" Euphemia snapped. "Why would you deliberately put yourself in danger-"

"I had the cloak, Mum," he muttered quickly. She froze, and then turned her glare to her husband, who was quietly heading up the stairs, as slow as a mouse trying to creep away from a cat.

" _Fleamont Potter! We_ both _agreed it was not yet time to give him that cloak!"_

"What cloak?" I asked, as lost as it seemed Lily was. But Remus, Peter, and Sirius all three kept their eyes averted, while James just sat meekly.

"I'm injured, Mum- don't bring extra stress," James requested quietly, his usual mischievous gleam in his eyes.

She glared at him. "I want that cloak back immediately.

"No!" All four marauders shouted, almost in sync. Sirius added, "You can't- it's not right! That cloak could save our lives!"

"Well, it clearly didn't save his!"

"Oh, no, it wasn't the cloak's fault," James said.

" _What. Cloak!"_ I interrupted, as I still hadn't been answered.

"Are you familiar with the Deathly Hallows?" Euphemia asked, sounding exasperated. I nodded; I had heard the tale from Cassi's mum several times. "The Invisibility Cloak is an actual thing, and has been in the Potter family for generations. Fleamont received it from his father, and James has now received it from Fleamont. I assume if James has a son, he, too, will receive the cloak."

I nodded. "And what's so terrible about this? That's a brilliant weapon."

"It inspires recklessness."

I couldn't argue with her. Instead, I shrugged, and we all let James continue. " _Anyway,_ I was wearing the cloak, and then- I heard voices from up ahead. I tried to get closer, see, and there were two Death Eaters- that Bulgarian fellow and the little curly-haired witch, Sirius's cousin." Sirius scoffed at this, and James sent him a sympathetic glance. "And they didn't know I was there yet, so I tried to get closer, find out what they were talking about. Turns out the lowlives were arguing about which unforgivable curse was more efficient as an interrogative method. So, I started to back up, and then a third person came out of a door I hadn't even seen- it's a false wall. The two death eaters turned, and the witch lit up like she had just realized it was Christmas. It took me a minute to figure out the third was _him,_ the Dark Lord. He looks like any other person, outside of his expression being so _cold._ It's like he's never felt happiness."

I didn't notice the curious and somewhat knowing look that entered Dumbledore's eyes; he glanced at me and back at James, his expression composed into his usual guarded calmness once more.

"He looked around, and then sent the other two inside. Once they were back in, he asked who was there- I didn't reply, but then he suddenly sent a nonverbal spell into the alley and the cloak fell off of me."

"Did you retrieve it?" Fleamont asked quickly. James nodded and continued.

"And then we started to duel, but it wasn't like at Hogwarts, when we learned how to. There was no bow, no polite words- it was just bolts of magic, flying back and forth, colors everywhere. One skimmed my cheek; I didn't think anything of it at the time, and it didn't feel that deep until I realized a chunk of skin was in my mouth. I nearly choked on it, and then spat it out and had to duck to avoid another bolt that flew right toward me. He's a master at nonverbal spells- he never spoke a word. Gives him an unfair advantage over whoever he's fighting, as he can predict and counteract their spells with just a thought. I was fighting for my life, and then finally landed a stupefy on him. A powerful one it was, too- sent him onto his back in the alleyway, and then I petrified him and was about to go over and bind him when five or six Death Eaters showed up. I apparated back here, and you lot know the rest."

Stunned silence filled the room, and then Lily said, "James, you- you defeated the Dark Lord himself. You defeated the most evil wizard in our world, and all that stopped you was that it was an unfair fight."

James looked as if this hadn't even occurred to him, sitting for a long moment in confusion. His eyes stared unfocused, and a miniscule twitch kept drawing his eyebrows down in the center. Suddenly, a grand, proud grin stretched across his face; his eyes opened wide, the pupils shrinking; and his eyebrows lifted gradually further off his face. He leapt to his feet, arms thrown out wide.

" _I_ defeated the Dark Lord! Me! James Potter! Sure, he's not completely gone, but I bested him in battle!" He made to run toward the door, and Lily caught his wrist in a vice grip.

"James, do _not_ go outside and shout it to the world. There are muggles in this town, as well as you are not about to get yourself caught and killed _now."_

He smiled fondly down at her, and then twisted his arm in her hand to grab her forearm and pull her to her feet. He placed his hands on her face, smiling brightly at her. "Lily Evelyn Evans, how does it feel to know the man who can defeat Voldemort is madly in love with you?"

She made a face. "Well, if that man's a bit of an arrogant tosser, it slightly dampens things."

He pouted, and she relented, sighing.

"Fine; it feels quite grand."

He cheered and kissed her deeply, making Sirius groan, as he was still sitting right beside them, giving him a front-row view of the action. After the kiss, James began dancing around the living room, crowing about his victory. Sirius rolled his eyes as conversation appeared around the room, everyone idly chatting, and he made his way over to me.

"Care to go for a walk?"

I nodded. "Sounds lovely."

We left the Potters' house, where I had been since the week after school ended. We escaped into the dark lane, dotted with sparse streetlights and illuminated by soft gray moonlight. Sirius clasped my hand in his, pulling me closer to him, and we walked at a slow, natural pace.

"Attacked by Voldemort," Sirius said quietly. "Didn't see that one coming."

"Won against Voldemort," I countered. "Didn't expect that, either. No offense to James, of course, it's just…"

"No one else has, I know," Sirius replied, squeezing my hand gently. "I didn't expect it, either."

I exhaled slowly, exhausted by the long night and the stress. Sirius looked over at me.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged. "As much as I'm going to be. Just… Shocking to realize how quickly one of us could be lost. I know we're in danger, but- face to face with Voldemort? That's a whole new level of danger."

"Have you forgotten that less than three months ago you faced off against a Death Eater while injured on the quidditch pitch? You'll get no more mercy from them than you could expect from Voldemort."

"Perhaps so, but they're more likely to just kill, not to torture for information first. You've heard the stories."

Sirius sighed. "I know. It just helps me feel better to not think about how intense that night was."

I offered him a small smile. "It's only going to get worse, you know. But at least we're together."

He looked back over at me and squeezed my hand. "I'm grateful for that. Thanks for this, Hazel."

"For what?"

He let his eyes drift to the sky, the moon reflecting softly in his cinder irises and casting a strange pale light to his already-light eyes. "For coming up here with us. Remus doesn't really have a home to go back to, so it makes sense that he would come up here with his friends, same with Lily; but you- you have a mother, your best friend, and others, all waiting for you back in Oxford, but you're up here in the middle of nowhere with us. I just… We could die any day, and you're risking never seeing your mother again to be with us."

The words had an impact like a lance in my chest, but I squared my shoulders, keeping my eyes on the road ahead, feeling his fingers interlocked with mine. "It's what I feel I must do. The path I'm on now is the path I'm meant to be on, with you."

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** First and foremost, my apologies to my readers from the other side of the world; I'm American, and by American time zones, I'm on the right day, but I realized by other time zones I'm a day late. However, it's still here!

Here's the first chapter of Stars and Leaves, which will be broken into four main parts: 1977, 1978, 1979-1980, and 1981. I've got a lot of plans for this book, and I hope you'll stay here for the journey with me.

Next update will be Saturday. Thanks for reading, don't forget to follow/fave/review!


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

"Hazel! Breakfast!"

I tried to mumble a reply, but none came. Instead, I buried my face deeper into the pillow, pulling a blanket over my head.

"Hazel, dearest, please join us for breakfast," Sirius said from the doorway.

"In a minute," I mumbled.

"You promise?"

"Mmm." I groaned, burying my face deeper into the pillow. Sleep crept back, clouding my head, and then suddenly a heavy weight fell on my back. A squeak emitted from me and I turned over enough to see Sirius laying on top of me.

"Hazel, wake up! Hazel! Wakey-wakey!"

Grumbling and groaning, I lifted myself up enough to toss him off of me. He rolled over onto the bed, still laughing, and I sat up, grimacing. He smiled, running a hand through my tangled hair. "Your hair is so pretty first thing in the morning."

"Really? I often compare it to the tangled coat of a grizzly fresh out of hibernation."

Sirius chuckled. "Get dressed, Hazel. Everyone is waiting for you downstairs."

With that, he kissed me and left the room. Still groggy, I attempted to look half-decent and then made my way downstairs to eat.

The entire Potter family (including friends) sat at the table, waiting for Sirius and I to join them. Euphemia had gone through the courtesy of making a big breakfast for us, which we all now sat down to. I glanced around, used to my muggle family, but once everyone was there they began to eat. No prayer, then; alright. I dug in, starting with the porridge, and listened to the others converse around me.

"So then James comes into the dorm, covered in dark green goop, with two fingers still regenerating, just for Sirius to look up and say, 'James, you've got one more baby skrewt hanging off your tail.' And James turns around, and the skrewt is hanging at just the right angle to form a tail. He was so angry about it," Remus was saying. Euphemia chuckled.

"He's always gotten into trouble like that," Euphemia said, which was no surprise to any of us. "Gotten worse since he met this one, though."

She pointed at Sirius with her thumb; he swallowed his bite of food and then grinned, saying, "Hey! I'm not that bad."

"Maybe not," Remus said, "But you were both terrible at not getting caught until I came along."

"And here I thought you might be a good influence," Euphemia said. "I knew there was something funny about you."

Remus's cheeks tinged pink, but he grinned nonetheless, shoveling in another bite of fried egg. Sirius chuckled. "Yeah, Remus is just as troublesome as the rest of us."

"What about Peter?" Euphemia asked, "What happened to him?"

"He's spending the summer with his family," James answered, taking a quick sip of tea. "Then he'll join us in the fall."

"His family?" Euphemia repeated, peering down quizzically. "I thought you said he hasn't got any."

"Muggle family," James clarified. "A rowdy but loving bunch. Peter's immediate family doesn't talk to them- they're from his muggle grandmother. Didn't even know he existed, but they finally mailed him when they figured it out. They have no idea about his abilities at all."

"So we won't see him until the fall?"

"No, Mum. You'll only have four extra wizards in the house for a few more months. Not as if that's a lot or anything, especially with them all being wizards."

"Hazel leaves in nine days for her auror training," Sirius said, "and Remus and I were talking about the three of us renting a cottage nearby."

"Why not buy it?" Euphemia suggested, looking eager. "You two can settle down and start a family, and Remus can babysit until he finds someone- you'll be in the same town as James- all your kids will grow up together-!" She was growing more excited as she went on. "And I'll be the extended grandmother to all of them!"

"Mum," James chuckled, "Slow down. They'll figure it out when they figure it out."

"Fine," Euphemia sighed, but she still sent me a suggestive smile when James wasn't looking. I could just see the images flying behind her eyes.

But as breakfast continued, I couldn't help but look at Sirius. An image of a blonde-haired, grey-eyed baby girl, or hazel-eyed son with dark wavy hair, flooded my mind, and I felt my cheeks redden some. Weddings, and children, and Christmases with a big family, letters from Hogwarts, fighting about whether the kids would be Ravenclaw or Gryffindor...

I shook myself. I'm moving entirely too fast. Aren't I? But we already admitted to loving each other, and we have that bond...

I tried to pay attention during the rest of the meal, but now I was far too distracted by that thought. I needed to go see Cassi. The girl was six months pregnant by now, and we had fought and argued so much about the stupidest things. The last time I'd been to see her, she had yelled at me for an hour because I had suggested a bottle with a yellow top, since we didn't know the baby's gender. This, apparently, angered her. She insisted the baby would be a girl, and would have no Hufflepuff-related things. When that comment led to an argument with Amos, she only got angrier, and I made my exit after chatting with my mother for twenty minutes (who was also mad at me, for not warning her of how hormonal Cassi was). Despite this, however, I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to know if she had felt this way about Amos.

We finished breakfast and I cleaned the dishes with Lily; I washed and she dried, and then we both put them away. She was quiet this morning, seeming to be in her own reflective thought. As I wasn't much for conversation, I didn't press. After doing the dishes, she leaned on the counter.

"It's a nice thought, isn't it?" She said quietly, not looking at me, her green eyes far away.

"What?" I asked, leaning on the counter next to her. A small smile toyed at the edges of her mouth.

"Grandmother Euphemia. James and I having children playing on the lawn with yours and Sirius's. Marriage, weddings, holidays... A dark-haired son watching out for his red-haired little sister. Both of them going off to Hogwarts, playing quidditch for Gryffindor." She sighed. "But a war isn't the best time for any of this, is it? It'll only get darker from here. Far too dangerous of a world to bring a child into."

I sighed. "I know what you mean. I've been fighting the same feeling, but my fear is more that it's too soon to think that way about Sirius and I. We've only been together for four months."

She smiled at me knowingly. "Maybe officially, but you two have loved each other much longer than that. You were just too stubborn and daft to see it, both of you." She laughed. "But you'll make it. I believe that."

I smiled back at her. "Thanks, Lily." I sighed. "But we don't have the same strong bond as you and James. You two are meant to be; you know that, right?"

A glow lit her eyes, and she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, smiling bigger. "I know. He's arrogant and impulsive, but he's perfect for me. I balance him out, just as he makes me bolder, braver than I've ever been. He's the only boy who's ever managed to make me stop studying for him. I'm sure you understand how that feels."

I chuckled. "I do, indeed. Sirius had the same effect on me. It's weird to think we won't be going back to Hogwarts."

We had all received our N.E.W.T.s results, and had all passed- not the best scores, but high enough that we were considered competent. Dumbledore still hadn't invited us to the Order's headquarters; he was giving us a six-month wait period to decide if it was really what we wanted, or if we'd rather start families.

"I know," Lily said. "I went through the entire school year thinking I'd be back the next year, and then that last month changed it all. It's so bittersweet." She stared off at nothing, her mouth quirked to the side, and then she straightened up, taking a deep breath. "Anyhow, I'm sure you had plans today. I won't keep you in here reminiscing about lost time."

I smiled. "You can talk to me anytime, Lily. But, as it happens, I do have plans today. I was thinking about going to see Cassi if Sirius doesn't have anything."

Lily nodded, beginning to wipe down the counters. "Don't let me keep you. I'm sure you're plenty eager to go see you're hormonal pregnant friend."

I chuckled. "Oh, of course. I thought it would be fun to be yelled at again." But a pang of guilt stung me; Cassi would be so upset if she heard us joking about her "condition". I left the room, saying goodbye to Lily, and went back to the room Lily and I shared. Sirius and James had one room, while Remus had a room to himself. The Potters wouldn't allow us to share rooms with our significant others until they became a little more significant- meaning until they put a ring on it. From the hints Sirius had given me, James was planning that very, very soon.

I changed from pajamas to a faded red-striped turtleneck and a pair of jeans, and then put on my Oxfords. I brushed my hair out and braided it, and then applied a little eye makeup before leaving the room. Sirius was walking out of the bathroom, having just finished showering, and was still shirtless. His body had matured in the six months since that morning in James' kitchen floor; muscle tone lined his abdomen, as did a fine strip of black hair following his navel to the top of his pants, where it vanished from view. Sirius held a towel over his shoulder, and his dark hair was a mass of black, tangled waves. He wore a smug smile as he approached me.

"Enjoying the view?" He commented, grinning.

"Mm, maybe," I teased, unable to resist putting my hands on his sides. But his reaction was unexpected- his eyes got big and he jumped back.

"Ah! Your hands are so cold!"

I laughed, tossing my head back slightly, and then grinned at him and held my hands out to him. "But sweetheart, I love you."

He backed away, staring at my hands in mock-horror, and said, "I love you, too, but your hands are so cold!"

"Let me warm my hands on you!"

I chased him down the hall into his and James's room, hands outstretched, and then finally tackled him onto his bed and pinned him there.

"Ha! I win!" I cheered, and he glared at me, unable to stop smiling regardless.

"I let you win," he argued, and then he stuck his tongue out at me. I poked my tongue back out at him, and he laughed, shaking his head. "Hazel, you're ridiculous."

"Only sometimes," I said, before pressing my hands to his warm stomach. "Oh, my gosh, you're so warm!"

He rolled his eyes, and I ran my hands up and down his stomach, getting the backs of them, too. I may have also been low-key feeling his abs, but I wasn't even admitting that to myself.

"Please don't fornicate in my room," James said, strolling in. He adjusted his glasses on his nose and collapsed onto his bed.

"She's actually torturing me," Sirius replied.

"Kinky."

Sirius grinned at me and raised his eyebrows. "Is it, Hazel? Is this how you seduce your boyfriend?"

I shook my head. "Now who's ridiculous?"

But all the same, I removed myself from the position of straddling him, instead seating myself on the edge of the bed.

"So," I asked, "What are the plans for today?"

He shrugged. "Euphemia's having a bonfire tonight, but that won't begin until around seven. We don't have anything until then. Why?"

"I was planning to go see Cassi."

He nodded. "Alright. Remus and James and I might go see Peter then."

James groaned. "Not today."

"Why not?" Sirius asked.

James lifted up enough to flop his head to the side, and then resumed laying on his belly. His glasses were shifted up by the pressure on the side of his face. "One word: Muggles."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Come on, James, if I can survive not using magic every second of the day, then you definitely can. I spent way more time around wizarding crowds than you."

"Exactly. You got your fill of it. I didn't."

"So move to Hogsmeade, then."

"Not a bad idea- Honeyduke's right down the road from my house? Sounds splendid."

"Not to mention the living shrouds in the backyard," I reminded him. "Those would be great pets for the kids."

Sirius chuckled, but James just rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Go to Cassi's and let me fantasize about eating all the chocolate frogs I could want."

I grinned and turned away, bending down and kissing Sirius full on the lips for a long moment. I pulled away, and then kissed him again- there was an addictive quality to his kisses. I could never just kiss him once; I made him kiss me all the time. If he was leaving the room, he had to kiss me first. If we passed each other in the hall, he had to kiss me. The joys of living together.

"Bye, sweetheart."

He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me down to him, holding me close. "I love you. Be safe."

"I love you, too, Sirius. I'll see you this evening."

But he didn't relent or ease his grip. "When will you be back? Don't be late."

"I'll be back at five, don't worry."

Now he released me. Leaning back, I kissed him one more time, and then moved to a standing position and apparated directly out of the room.

I appeared at the base of the staircase to Mum's apartment, and I hurried up the stairs in time to see the door open in reaction to my apparation. Mum smiled broadly at me.

"Hazel! What an unexpected surprise!"

I smiled back at her and reached the top of the stairs, where I was engulfed in a hug. Mum smelled like home, and I inhaled deeply, relishing in it. She squeezed me tight and then pulled back, looking me up and down.

"You look healthy," she said, smiling. "Are you eating enough? Getting enough sleep?" Her thumb brushed under my eye. "You've got bags under your eyes."

"Mum," I interrupted. "That's only because I stay up studying. I have to stay sharp."

A flicker of worry entered her eyes, but she tried to manage a supportive smile. She grabbed me into another hug, and then I heard a voice from inside.

"I wasn't ready for this to happen in the first place! Neither of us were!"

"I know, but, Cassi- I love you. We can make it through this!"

"What if we can't, Amos? What if this ends badly for one or both of us? I can't raise him alone!"

Mum pulled back with a sigh as the couple continued to argue. She frowned. "They've been like this for three days. She's completely stressed out, to the point that she found a gray hair. I'm worried about them both. They're too young for this."

I silently agreed, but shrugged. "They'll make it through. They're strong. They've made it this long, anyway- what, ten or eleven months?"

"Closer to nine or ten," Mum amended, and then nudged me lightly. "If you'd spend more time with her, you might know that."

I smiled, laughing lightly. "You're probably right."

"Probably?" Mum asked, heading inside. "There is no 'probably' about it."

The hair on the back of my neck stood up suddenly. As Mum reached the door, she turned to look at me, but I was looking across the street. In an alleyway between two large buildings stood a dark, hooded figure, a long black trenchcoat hanging down to his knees. One hand was in his pockets, but the other, I saw, was aimed at me.

In a flash, my wand was drawn and I had silently cast a shielding charm. The spell deflected, whatever it had been, and the man doubled over, and then looked up in surprise. He was pale, with shaggy dark hair falling around his face, and his bright pale blue eyes were visible even from this distance. I gasped.

Professor Harley.

The pop echoed across the street as he apparated away, and I stood there for a long moment.

"Hazel, darling, what is it?" Mum asked, leaning out the door and looking. I shook my head, ushering her inside.

"Nothing, Mum," I assured her, smiling at her, and then followed her inside, trying to make sense of what I had seen.

Mum hurried about making tea for me, but I excused myself to go greet Cassi. I stepped into my old room, the furnishings now replaced with hers- mine had been moved to the Potters' house. The pictures Cassi had gotten me last Christmas were now in a small lavender box of memorabilia like that, including the ring, the scarf, and various other gifts I'd received. The papers to contact the Marauders were in my pocket, folded. I always kept them with me lately.

Cassi looked up, and a broad smile crossed her face. She immediately stood and waddled over to hug me. Her stomach was HUGE; I tried my best not to stare, but I couldn't help it. Amos sat at her desk, his head in his hands. I glanced between the two after hugging Cassi.

"We're going to Amos's parents house tonight for dinner," Cassi said immediately. "Would you like to join?"

"Perhaps for a moment," I said. "I promised Sirius I would be home by five."

"Oh, it's an early dinner," Cassi explained, waving off my comment. "We're headed over at half four."

I shrugged. "Alright. I'll join you, but I have to be back by five."

 **x~x**

After spending time with them for a while and somewhat alleviating the tension between the soon-to-be parents, Cassi invited me to walk with her down to a small French-style cafe for a snack. We sat down at a small round table with eclairs after I counted the people in the room- eleven. The old rule about the thirteenth to sit dying still stood out in my mind, more and more so lately. Cassi chattered away about the problems she and Amos were having, and about her excitement about the baby. She was just certain it would be a girl, but I thought otherwise. Finally, she quieted down some.

"Hazel, what's this about? Why did you want to come and see me?"

I sighed, stirring more sugar into my earl gray. I kept my eyes on the surface of the liquid. "Two things, but one is more urgent than the other, it seems. I've been witnessing a black-cloaked figure following me around, but I've no idea what his purpose is. I always catch him just before he casts whatever spell it is, and manage to deflect it. I saw him today, outside the apartment." I paused, and her eyes widened. "I'm sorry. I don't think I'll be visiting for a while, because... Well, I recognized him. And suddenly he seems very dangerous, and I don't want him around your or my mother or Amos."

Cassi's eyes got bigger. "You recognized him? Hazel, who is it?"

When I didn't immediately reply, she pressed more, begging to know. Finally, I said, "Professor Harley. I recognized him from across the street."

"Oh, my goodness," she gasped, leaning back. Her entire stomach was exposed from this angle, the whole bulbous shape prodding into the edge of the table. It was hard to believe she'd get even bigger. "You're sure?"

I nodded. "Same pale face, narrow jaw, sharp features, crystal blue eyes, dark hair, tall and thin build... It had to be him. There's no one else it could be."

"But why is he following you?"

"I've no idea. I don't know what he could want. He's just there, and he always has his wand out. My mum almost saw him today, but he apparated just before she poked her head out the door to look. But Cassi, you know what this means, right?"

"What?"

I sighed. "The dark clothing, shady actions, attempted curses, stalking... He's one of them."

"One of who?"

"He's a Death Eater. That's the only explanation."

"Hazel," Cassi said sharply. "This is the man who's been your divinatory mentor for six years. He's been an excellent teacher, a moral person- he wouldn't. Maybe he disappeared to fight them and now they've placed him under the Imperius curse. But he can't be one of them; he just can't. It doesn't make sense."

"Cassi, it does- you didn't hear him that last day I spoke to him. You remember I was meeting him for tutoring lessons throughout the year? Xeno and I? One day, I went alone, and he and I were speaking and he was... He was acting so odd. He told me to stay safe."

"So why would he be stalking you with harmful intentions? He cares about you, he always has. He wouldn't turn Death Eater and attack."

I shrugged. "Maybe you're right and it is the Imperius curse. We all know I pissed off the whole lot of them, every Death Eater, when I attacked Greyback and deceived Sirius's cousin. And now James has gone and faced off Voldemort-"

"What!?"

I smiled meekly. "Sorry; I forgot to tell you that. James shows up half-dead last night having apparated home after defeating Voldemort in battle, and then all of his Death Eaters rushing out while Voldemort was still stunned. Between his fight yesterday and my constantly finding new ways to piss them off, our whole group in Godric's Hollow is doomed if any of them find out where we live."

Cassi sighed, shaking her head. "So you think that Professor Harley has joined them, and is aware of their personal vendetta against you, and is still going to attack you."

I shrugged. "I dunno. I really don't. I have no idea what's going on anymore, I just know... Things have gotten weird lately, and there's nothing I wouldn't believe at this point. You heard about Lucius Malfoy, right? In the papers? It said he'd been spotted among them. No doubt he'd call it the Imperius curse as well, but he's a Death Eater, sure as sure. We all knew he was a bad fellow, but I don't think any of us thought him that bad."

"All of those purebloods are like that," Cassi said bitterly, and I shook my head.

"Not all of them. Sirius and James are both pure-blood, and neither of them act that way."

"They're still arrogant, and proud."

I shrugged. "They have a right to be."

"Because of their bloodline?!"

"No! No, because of their skill," I amended quickly. "They're brilliant, bloody brilliant. Speaking of Sirius, that was the second thing."

Cassi raised her eyebrows, taking a sip of her tea. "Hmm?"

"Mrs. Potter said something this morning about being a grandmother, and about Sirius and I living nearby so that our kids can grow up with Lily and James's. And I started thinking about it-"

"You want kids with him? After how dramatic you've seen him be?"

I felt myself automatically go on the defense, a spike of anger pricking at her words. "Sirius is a wonderful perosn, he just needed to mature a little. You can't say anything about people being dramatic right now."

She raised her eyebrows higher. "I happen to be very pregnant, which has my hormones everywhere. If I'm a little dramatic, it might be that, or it might be the stress of now having to raise a child in the midst of a war."

"And whose fault is that?"

"It's mine, sure, but that doesn't make it less stressful."

"Perhaps you should have thought things through if you can't handle the stress."

She glared, turning away, and then sighed. "You're right," she admitted, not looking at me. "I hate admitting that to you, because you're right about so many things, but on this, you're right." She looked at me then, desperation in her eyes. "Hazel, please help me take care of her. Please? I can't do it alone. I... I want to make you the godmother."

I felt my eyebrows shoot up; of course I had expected this, but I'd had my doubts on whether or not it would actually happen. "Cassi, are you sure? I may not be around forever, and I might not be able to visit much."

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I want you to be the godmother."

I nodded. "Okay. Then I will be."

A smile flashed across her lips. "Good."

 **x~x**

The bonfire crackled pleasantly, warmth radiating off of it into the open air of the Potters' backyard. Their backyard was lovely: soft, trimmed dark green grass blanketed the soft, slightly rolling acre of land, accented here and there with spherical shrubs and manicured birch trees. Toward the back, a young willow tree neighbored a small stone wishing well, where James and Lily now stood, chatting idly.

I sat next to the fire, pretending not to be listening to their happy talk of the future they wanted together. I roasted a marshmallow, waiting for Sirius to come back outside. It was twilight, a pretty pale indigo glow over the whole scene, and the Potters were out getting more food. Remus was inside in search of a book, and Sirius was cleaning the dishes. It was funny to see him do chores, knowing his personality, but he respected Mrs. Potter and was determined to earn his keep, so he cleaned.

"I want a future with you, James," I heard Lily say from back by the wishing well, her light voice carrying across the quiet yard to me. A breeze ruffling the trees and a choir of night bugs slightly muffled the sound of her voice, but I could still hear each word.

"Oh, yeah?" James said, laughing lightly and nudging his glasses back up his nose.

"Yes," she said. "I can't stop thinking about it. I want us to live in a house like this, and raise children, and be married, and have jobs, and- and... James, what are you doing?"

"Something I've been to afraid to do for far too long," he said. I couldn't help but glance over at this. James was on one knee. He took Lily's hands as I watched, unable to resist smiling broadly. I quickly turned away, listening to them as my marshmallow caught fire. "Lily Evans, I love you with all of my heart. You bring out the best of me. You tone down my arrogance, and you see past my flaws. The James underneath the vanity and arrogance and pride, you draw him forward, and no one else has ever done that. My parents love you, my friends love you, and, most of all, I love you more than I've ever loved anything. And I've loved you since I first met you. I'm sorry it took me so long to finally say so, but I promise you, Lily Evans, I will love you forever, as selflessly and caringly as I can. You mean more to me than anyone or anything; you mean more to me than life itself. And with that said, I want to give you this."

His hand delved into his coat pocket, and he withdrew a small velvet box. "Lily, it would be an honor to have a future with you, to be your husband. Will you marry me?"

I glanced over- I had to. As I attempted to take a bite of my badly-burnt marshmallow and then tried not to spit it back out due to the heat, I saw Lily gasp, completely frozen with her green eyes huge and her eyebrows high up on her forehead. Finally, she seemed to break from the trance.

"Oh, James, I-" she faltered, and I saw him gulp. She finally smiled widely and softened, her voice hitching as she said, "I would love to!"

He smiled back at her and slid the ring onto her finger, and then rose to his feet. She leapt into his arms and he caught her around the middle, swinging her around in a circle. I grinned, looking back at the fire so they wouldn't think I'd been watching them. I took a bite of the soppy, melted center of my marshmallow, and a lump of white goo fell on my shirt. Dammit.

"They're adorable," Remus said, having appeared next to me, and then smiled at me. He paused for a moment. "You've got a little..."

I reached up, feeling where he'd pointed at, and wiped white goo off of my chin. I nodded. "Because I can't seem to witness an adorable moment without messing up something."

"Maybe not, but hey, look how happy they are."

I looked over to see that James had taken Lily's hands and began to dance in the small clearing to a beat only they seemed to hear. I couldn't help but smile.

"They are happy," I sighed, feeling my own happiness for them. "I hope they stay that way."

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** So I finally got the plot outlined for part 1 & 2 of this volume of the Hazel and Sirius story, and _oh jeez I'm so sorry guys things are gonna be even more angsty than the last book._ But there's still going to be happiness and action and humor and romance and adventure and all of the things from the first book! But as the characters grow older, they also face new struggles, emotionally and in war.

So, for this chapter!

-Who expected Death Eater Professor Harley?

-What would _you_ do with a friend as angry and pregnant as Cassi? How do you think she and Amos are going to work out?

-WHO'S LOOKING FORWARD TO THE POTTER WEDDING! I KNOW I AM! :D

Thanks for reading, lovelies. Don't forget to fave/follow/review!


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

It was quiet the next day at the Potters' house.

Lily was out with James, the two having taken a day to focus on their relationship after their recent engagement. Sirius and Remus had finally gone to meet Peter. And that left only me, Fleamont, and Euphemia in the large house. They had become something of secondary parents, like that aunt and uncle everyone has who they can rely on for care in troublesome times.

I sat downstairs in the sunny living room, reading a muggle book and feeling the summer breeze flutter in through the window. It had been sunny the past week or so, which was unusual but not entirely unheard of. My tea had gone cold by now, as I had been absorbed in the book and forgotten its presence. Footsteps came downstairs and into the kitchen, heeled shoes against the floorboards echoing distinctly through the quiet house. Euphemia stepped into the living room a moment later with a strawberry pastry and a cup of green tea. She took a seat on the sofa and withdrew a book of her own from the end table, beginning to read.

The soft sound of the wind and the bugs outside made for a very peaceful setting, and after such a hectic year at Hogwarts I couldn't help but relish in the moment of tranquility. It left my mind vacant of troublesome thoughts; the newfound knowledge of Professor Harley's betrayal, the tension between Cassi and Amos, the worry in my mother's eyes… All of these things were mere shadows on this peaceful afternoon; they were there, but they didn't call attention to themselves.

"What is that you're reading?" Euphemia asked suddenly, her deep-pitched but smooth voice neither disrupting nor adding to the peace.

I looked up to see she was, indeed, looking at me. "Pride and Prejudice," I answered. "It's one of my mum's favorites, but I've never read it, myself. I finally picked it up this morning, and it's actually quite fantastic."

She smiled. "I've read it myself. You'll love the ending. It gets quite bland here and there, but it picks up again."

I smiled back at her. "Thanks for the warning. I had to struggle through the first chapter, but afterwards, it was tolerable."

"What part are you at?"

"Elizabeth has just left Lady Catherine de Bourgh's."

"So, what do you think of Darcy?"

We continued to chat about the book for a while, and then she left me to it, with slightly more hints at what would happen next. She, herself, was reading _Freya Frodinger: A Witch Gone Mad._ It was some wizarding romance/action novel set in Norway, one Euphemia had read many times before. We made arrangements that I would read it once she had finished it and once I had finished _Pride & Prejudice. _I rather enjoyed her company, I found.

After another hour or so of quiet reading, Fleamont came downstairs and lounged across the couch, resting his head in his wife's lap and quite successfully interrupting her reading.

"Euphemia, dear, what is it you're doing?" He asked, and she cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Reading, if you couldn't tell. Hazel and I were enjoying a quiet, peaceful afternoon, weren't we, Hazel?"

"We were," I agreed, and Fleamont sighed.

"'Peaceful.' Don't think anything constitutes as 'peaceful' at this point. Anyhow, there's a muggle produce stand about a mile away, and I was wondering if you two ladies would like to join me in venturing to it. They have wonderful red apples, and their carrots sprouted early."

"You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that, would, you darling?" Euphemia asked, and Fleamont only grinned innocently.

"Of course not, my dear! Those are muggle crops!" He sat up. "So, what say you? A venture into the muggle world today?"

Euphemia sighed, marking her page and closing her book with a profound _thump._ "Very well. Hazel, would you like to join us?"

I marked my book as well. "Of course. Give me a moment to get dressed."

The Potters practiced a practical habit I felt I would never assimilate to. They woke each morning, dressed for the day, and then spent the whole day dressed until the evening, when they bathed, put on their nightclothes, and laid down to sleep. I, however, followed the lazy teenage girl structure of wearing pajamas until I absolutely had to get dressed, and on such a peaceful day, I couldn't be bothered to dress myself in anything but comfortable shorts and a tank top. I now made my way upstairs, changing quickly into a pair of high-waisted jeans, a white camisole, and a light green cardigan. I brushed out my hair and braided it, my now go-to hairstyle for when my hair was misbehaving (so most of the time).

I made my way downstairs, and we left.

An hour later, we returned to the Potters loaded with vegetables and fruits and even some baked goods. Euphemia was already planning a big dinner; she was ecstatic to have so many healthy foods, especially for her now-engaged son. She spent most of the trip enthusing about grandchildren, and Fleamont only encouraged her further with his talk of taking the kids to the Quidditch World Cup, their first year at Hogwarts, their graduation from Hogwarts…

By four o'clock when Sirius and Remus returned, Euphemia and Fleamont had concocted entire lives for their son and future daughter-in-law. They would have two sons and one daughter, and the daughter would be named after Euphemia. Sirius strolled in and kissed me, and then said, "We have a splendid idea."

"What would that be?"

"Let's go house-hunting using muggle real estate agents!"

I stared at him and sighed. "Sirius, how else did you plan to get any house? There aren't a lot of wizarding-owned real estate agencies."

"I've been trying to tell him this for ages," Remus said, taking a seat on the couch.

"But but but," Sirius interrupted, "We found the perfect cottage already, and it's being rented out by a lovely muggle couple in this neighborhood. It's a street over from the Potters', the rent is cheap, and we've already spoken to the muggles who own it and they agreed we can start renting it!"

As unexpected as this news was, I felt excitement pulse through me. "Brilliant! Great job, Sirius! When do we move in?"

"They said they need a week to get the proper papers and finalize everything, but we'll be moving in soon."

"And how are we paying for it?"

He faltered here. "I…" He cleared his throat. "I will figure that out."  
I sighed. "Do we need to put down a deposit, or just start paying rent?"

"A what?"

I face-palmed. "Sirius Black, here I thought you had figured all of it out."

He wilted some. "Sorry."

I shook my head, but smiled and stood. "It's okay. You got fairly far. You did well."

He beamed again, and I kissed him. He was like a small child sometimes, with how he was affected by praise or scolding. I kissed him again and then we headed into the Potters' kitchen and began badgering Euphemia about dinner until she shunted us back out into the living room. We settled down to a game of Exploding Snap and waited for dinner.

 **X~X**

The next morning, I woke up just before sunrise and sat up in bed, a dream quickly fading from memory. I sat for a long moment, trying to remember what it had been… Some symbol, something significant… But it faded as quickly as it had come, and now I was wide awake with nothing to do for a while. _Or,_ I corrected myself, nothing planned to do, and all the opportunity to find something.

Within an hour, I had showered, eaten breakfast, had a cup of tea, and was fully dressed, shoes and all, with my hair braided and time to waste. My room was clean, my bed made, and I had fed Euphemia's puffskeins. The sun was up now, kissing the treetops, and the neighborhood was cast in a golden, glowing light that shone determinedly through the trees. From the Potters' house's second floor, I could see out into the neighborhood, and I looked over our street to the next one. A winding trail cut back through trees at the very end of it, and I could only just see the faint, boxy outline of what appeared to be a cottage.

I left the house and started off toward it, taking my time on the walk. I was still trying to recall the symbol from the dream, but it successfully eluded me; any time it seemed to be almost back, it disappeared again. I would get a vague outline and then- nothing. Just foggy gray nothingness. With a sigh, I turned my mind to other thoughts.

My auror training would begin in less than a week. I was still conflicted about it; my own doubts had been pressed to the back of my mind in my determination to prove to others that I was cut out for the job, but the fact was I was scared to death. Six weeks without Sirius, six weeks in London, six weeks learning how to look at someone who intended to kill me and keep a level head- it was terrifying to think about. I was getting anxiety _bad_ ; everything from December kept replaying in my mind as I thought about the fact that there was no real guarantee I would be that lucky again. I couldn't look at the woods half a mile from the Potters' house because I could still all too clearly remember buckling over under that bush next to the river. I could still see the glowing white stag running to me and then racing back. I could still hear the screams from the trian-

I shook the dark thoughts away. Auror training was to certify I would _never_ be that helpless again, and I would be working to ascertain no one else would have to feel that way, either. No one else would live with those kinds of memories. No one else would have those nightmares. The war would continue, and tragedies would happen, but they would be as few as possible, if I had anything to say about it. But if I was being honest, I was mainly afraid to ever find Sirius, or Remus, or Lily, or James, or Cassi, or Yumi, or even Severus in the position I was in that night. The thought of one of them passed out cold in the forest under a bush, their bones broken and their body temperature dropping, and then to not know what happened for two days- that scared me. It also made my blood boil, and that was why I _had_ to do the auror training. There was no if, and, or but that could convince me otherwise.

With these thoughts powering away my doubt and fear, I stopped at the end of the winding driveway and looked down. The cottage was there, just far enough that a forty-second sprint wouldn't quite take me to it. I began walking down, enjoying the way the trees stood guard along the drive. There was a light, delicate breeze that whispered through the tree trunks, and I felt a powerful presence here. I had no idea what it might be, but I knew then that this cottage would be a safe space, somewhere Remus wouldn't have to worry about his affliction, somewhere Sirius and I could lay in the flowers and point out stars and constellations, somewhere that could become _home_.

The actual cottage was a small, brick-based building with dark brown shingles on top and small, arched windows and a little, roofed-in front porch with enough room for a porch swing or a couple of chairs. Flowers and bushes grew wild in the yard among tall grass and weeds, blossoming in the summer warmth and sun. As I watched, the sun capped the trees and sent its golden glow onto the cottage, glittering on dew drops in the grass and lighting the shingles with a reflective shine. It was beautiful.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, feeling the sun on my face and listening to the birds and the wind in the trees and the bugs in the grass. This was beauty; this was somewhere that could be home. This is where I'd come back to after my auror training and live with two of my best friends, one of which was easily the love of my life. I was certain now that this would become my home, and that Sirius and I would live here, and it would be our little pocket of peace amidst a world at war, and then become the familiar dwelling where life would elevate to a happy place after the war.

For the first time in a long time, I was optimistic.

I was hopeful.

I might even be happy.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **A/N:** Hey, guys! Sorry it's been a little while. Things have been hectic- I've been having to sell watermelons every day for eight hours in the hot sun, and that heat exhausts you. It's been 95-100 degrees every day I've done it, and my Irish-descended self gets sunburn if I even _think_ about the sun for too long, let alone sit in it for hours on end. I was under an umbrella and _still_ got burnt, and then _still_ had to go out the next day, so then my sunburn blistered. Not too mention how stressful things have gotten; I won't bug you with the details, but I'll tell you it's been to the point that, combined with the heat, I have been rendered creatively impaired so that writing was straining just to think about.

But _finally,_ boredom and a break for a couple days pushed me to the point that I forced myself to sit down and finish up this chapter for you lovely readers. For once, instead of being six chapters ahead of what's published, I'm having to come up with things on time to write.

I won't promise a date for my next update, as I don't know what the next few weeks will bring. I'll most likely be moving, though, so between packing and unpacking and dealing with other formalities I'll be busy a lot of the time. I'll try and get more written for you lovely readers, though.

Now, on to the chapter! I know this is chapter three of StripedHatter's cutesy filler chapter crap, but the next chapter begins auror training, and that's where things will start to pick up some. This is our last cutesy filler crap-chapter for a _longgg_ time, though. I think the next "happy" chapter will be Cedric's birth, and that's still several months away in story-time. So prepare for angst! (You've been warned.)

Thanks for reading, and please don't forget to review, follow, & fave!


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

The building was as inauspicious as any Ministry installment. Another white brick-front building on a non-busy road among several vacant or barely-occupied buildings would draw no attention to muggles, nor would the great number of curious characters appearing in front of it. Girls and boys all of around the age of sixteen to nineteen wearing poorly-chosen muggle clothing or otherwise blatantly obvious wizarding clothes were all either simply appearing or arriving in fancy town-cars in front of said inauspicious brick-front building and striding in.

I took a deep breath and felt Sirius's hand squeeze mine. "You can do this," he assured me. "You're Hazel Drummond. You can do anything you set your mind to."

I met his grey eyes to find a splash of calm reassurance among my inner turmoil. The cinder irises blazed with optimism, love, and, deep below, a tiny speck of fear. I sighed and yanked him into my arms, holding him tightly. I heard his breath catch, but it was from the sudden pressure around his ribcage.

"Hazel, I understand you'll miss me, but if you squeeze the life out of me it'll be much harder to see you again."

I laughed once and eased up some, while still holding him in my arms. I took a deep breath for the four millionth time that morning. "I love you, Sirius. I'll write you all the time."

"Hopefully more than you wrote your mother last year."

"Definitely."

He hugged me a moment longer and then pulled back and cupped my chin with one finger, staring at me optimistically. "You've got this, Hazel. Now get in there and show them what you're made of."

I glanced at the doorway and nodded, and then turned back and kissed Sirius deeply. I pulled back and said, "I love you. I'll see you as soon as I can. Stay safe."

"I love you, too. You do the same."

He watched as I crossed the empty street and joined the flock entering the building. 39B Doble Street, along the south edge of London, was to be my new home for the next six weeks. It was now 9:30 A.M. on June 20th, 1977, and I was prepared- finally- to be whisked away to a bright, shiny new future, leaving childhood and innocence behind and replacing it instead with the structured mind of an auror, a mind which would be capable of fighting off dark wizards and witches.

And this is what I was willingly abandoning my last summer of childhood for. This is what I was willingly spending six weeks away from Sirius for. This is what I was willingly deserting my childhood for, and at the moment that's all I could see it as. I knew I would be very different when I left, and so it went.

I joined the crowd and walked through the doors to find myself in a small foyer crowded with other young witches and wizards, trying to figure out where to go. A man of Flitwick's height was waving the crowd through, shouting out directions, and we ended up passing through into a brightly-lit corridor. The inside of the building was as bright as the outside, but also as bland. White marble floors, white-painted walls, and white columns and arches formed the structure of the hallway, and it was as bland as could be. I sincerely hoped it wouldn't stay like this.

The third door down on the right was being held open by another wizard, a younger fellow with an exasperated expression and a mop of brown hair. He was tiredly repeating, "This way, take the first seat in sight, move it, come on."

I strode past him, clumped in with the others, and ended up in a small auditorium where people were crowding into the first three rows. I sat down at the edge of one, and a girl with a pointy nose and thin, mousy brown curls sat down next to me. She had familiar pale blue eyes, and I creased my eyebrows.

"Edith?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Yes? Do I know you?"

I smiled. "No, but I know your cousin Xeno."

"Oh! Okay." She nodded. "Yeah, I'm Edith Briar. Who are you?"

"Hazel Drummond." We shook hands, and then I looked at the stage at the base of the room. "Apprehensive?"

"No," she answered. I realized she didn't resemble her cousin Xeno at all. She shrugged. "Why should I be? I'm learning how to not have a reason to fear."

 _She'll never make it here,_ I thought. You have to know fear to conquer enemies; fear can drive you, and trying to resist fear can destroy you. I held in a sigh. "You're not even lonely without your family or friends?"

She shook her head. "No. They'll be okay."

I just nodded and looked forward, no longer feeling the desire to converse with her.

"How about you?" She asked a moment later, catching me off guard.

I looked back over at her. "Oh, yeah, I'm going to. I've been living with my boyfriend and his best friend, and my best friend is pregnant and lives with my mum. I want to be able to keep checking on them and keeping them safe."

She shrugged again. "I don't really have anyone, so I'm not as concerned, but I can see why you would be."

That added some insight to her lack of fear; empty lives held less weight to the people living them. "It's part of why I'm here. I want to be able to help protect them."

She raised an eyebrow. "You'll never make it here."

The statement came as a shock, partially due to how closely it mirrored the thought I'd had about her a moment before. I looked at her, meeting her pale eyes. "Why is that?"

"Too emotional. What are you going to do if a Death Eater starts begging for his life, listing all his reasons to live?"

"The goal is to capture, not kill," I pointed out. "Besides, my emotions fuel me, not hold me back. I've already saved a friend's life from Death Eaters in the middle of a quidditch match."

"Oh, you're _that_ girl! I remember seeing something about you in the Daily Prophet."

I just nodded, and luckily our awkward, judgmental conversation was halted by a loud voice from the center stage: "Let there be silence, now!"

I looked down to see a bigger man in a long leather coat with a bald head and large eyes. "My name is Archie Fardinger. I am in charge of this program, and you will address me as Mr. Fardinger." I held in a snort; every time he said his name, a prominent Welsh accent made it sound as though he were saying _farting-er._ And all I could think of was the puns Sirius would make. He continued, "There are four sub-instructors, and two hundred of you. Each sub-instructor will be in charge of fifty students. You will be sorted by experience level, as determined soon after this, and then roomed with a partner. This partner will be your partner throughout the course; there are no trades, no take-backs, and no complaints. You will learn to work together. As aurors, teamwork is vital, and you will not always get along with your comrades. Just remember you are both fighting the same evil."

I stole a glance at Edith; she was staring at him with narrowed eyes. Her expression seemed to say, _I dare someone to pair me with a partner I don't want._ Mr. Fardinger continued, "In a few moments, you will be extracted by last name to go take an aptitude test, and then sorted into groups. You will be here for six weeks, in which time you will have a preview of the life an auror. If any of you protest this, leave now, and don't look back. This is not a life for the faint of heart."

There was a pause, in which a few feet shuffled and several heads turned, but no one left.

"Your sub-instructors will explain the rules and curriculum. You will only see me if you are in trouble; trust me, you don't want to see me."

With that, he strode off the stage, and was replaced by a tall, dark-skinned woman with a neat bun on the back of her head. "Anyone with last names starting from A to Fr, move out of the room into the hallway, please."

There was a scramble of movement. I followed Edith out of the room, keeping my eyes on her head and my distance from her. Whether I disliked her or not, I had to respect that she seemed much more sure of herself than I was.

We reached the hallway and started off in the direction of the other A-Fr students, and then were filed into a larger room. A line formed, and one at a time each student vanished into the next room through a dark wooden door. I was the seventh in the room once I counted; I wasn't sure how many had already gone in. I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest with apprehension, and anxiety was creeping up like a shadow. I took a few deep breaths, reminding myself they wouldn't put us in unnecessary danger. Well, then again, maybe they would, if we're here to learn how to survive it. But they wouldn't kill us… Right?

By the time there was only one other person in front of me, I had worked myself into a near panicky state. Breathing deeply, I stepped into the first room, to find it was something shockingly simple:

A dementor.

It was quickly taken care of with a swiftly-cast patronus charm, and then I moved to the next room to find that most of the test was arranged similarly: you walk into a room, find some opposition, and overcome it. The first opponent was a dementor, the next mandrakes, and then a living shroud, a full-grown blast-ended skrewt, and then, finally, a newspaper. This one gave me the most trouble, as it was the most unexpected.

I walked into the room to find only a newspaper sitting on a table, and I strode forward with confusion painted on my features, thinking this was too easy. I lifted it up and began to read through it, and felt my ever-growing horror.

 **Murders in Oxford & Godrick's Hollow**

 _Many were killed in the recent massacres that led to the Ministry of Magic's shut-down this morning. The Death Eaters have grown in numbers past what we could imagine, and have destroyed a large quantity of magical families and dwellings._

 _Among the dead are Cassiopeia and Lyra Dale, Mavis Drummond, Sirius Black, James and Euphemia Potter, Lily Evans, and Remus Lupin. Following the initial attack, Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore led a force into Godrick's Hollow and was also attacked; he has not been seen since the attack, though witnesses say he was last seen entering the home of the Potter family. Fleamont Potter, the remaining member, has also disappeared…_

It was a long moment before I had recovered enough to register what I was reading, and then to realize what it was. With an exasperated huff, I threw down the newspaper and stepped back from the table. I let an image form in my mind and then pointed my wand.

" _Riddikulus!"_

The spell whisked from my wand and the paper was lit on fire, all of its false words of horror burning to a crisp. I walked around the table it had been set on and out of the too-bright room. On the other side was a tall, narrow woman, her dark hair graying and her beige skin lined with fine wrinkles.

"Very good, Miss Drummond," she said, "You've passed the test."

I nodded, and she handed me a small booklet.

"Here's your rulebook and information guide, as well as a sheet of paper explaining your dorming. Outside of this room is a hallway; turn left upon leaving the doorway and follow the hall to a staircase at the end, and at the top of that is your dorm hall. There you will wait until exactly six o'clock, when someone will be sent upstairs to you to call everyone for dinner. You may go."

I nodded once more, exhausted by the day, and headed out. At the doorway, I was called to pause.

"Miss Drummond?"

I turned my head over my shoulder. "Yes?"

"Lavatories are across the hall, should you need one."

"Oh. Thanks."

I stepped out, and then started toward my dorm, an exhausted sigh pulling from my mouth. It was going to be a _long_ six weeks.

 **xxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** I'm so sorry it's taken forever to update this. I still love you guys, I promise, I'm just really bad at chapters like this and my anxiety has been _everywhere_ this summer. (hence some of Hazel's more anxious moments.)

Thanks for sticking with me; I'll update again when I can. I'm still without WiFi, but I do appreciate the continued following and reading of my story by so many of you.

Don't forget to fave, follow, and review!


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

My dorm-mate, to my great fortune, was not Edith Briar.

Instead, I strode into my dorm, G3, to find two uniform white-blanket beds with their ends toward the door, in opposite corners of the room. At the end of each was a simple, pine-wood dresser, made of the same material as the bedframes. The walls were a pink floral pattern, with swirls and roses decorating the walls, and the floors were a darker cedar wood. There was a very nice look to the room, and as I watched, the bed that I had decided to be mine- the one on the right- shifted so that the comforter was a pale shade of gray- a cinder tone- and the sheets were a dull indigo.

My two favorite colors.

Sirius's eyes, and my Hogwarts house.

A bittersweet pang hit my chest at the thought; I was no longer a Hogwarts student. That part of my life was over, and I had to let go of it, whether I was "ready" or not. The future was here, and I had to face it.

I strode forward to find that my trunk was already beneath the bed, having been delivered there likely magically upon my arrival. I glanced at the other side of the room; the white bedspread and trunkless bottom indicated it remained unowned. I wondered who my room-mate would be; I knew Edith had already passed, meaning she must be in G2, across the hall from G1, next door to me. She would be in the first room on the right.

Taking a seat on the bed, I took a moment to braid my hair and think. I had passed my trials, and now I had a firm hold within the program. This would be my home for the next six weeks, and I disliked the only other person I had talked to here; but I didn't know everyone yet. My dorm-mate might be alright.

At the thought, the door opened, and in strode a tall girl, her form narrow and muscular. Her lengthy arms were exposed by a silky blue button-down, though her legs were clad in tight black trousers, and her feet donned black Oxfords, not unlike my own, which were back in my room at the Potters'. She was dark-skinned, though there was a warm tone to her skin, with angular features and almond-shaped brown eyes. Her brows arched sharply over her long-lashed eyes, which rested above bold cheekbones on either side of a long nose. She was _gorgeous._

"Hi," she greeted me. "I'm Beverly Jordan, but I go by Bev. I'm guessing you're my dorm-mate?"

"Yeah," I replied. Even her voice spoke power and beauty, though there was a faint awkwardness. "I guess I am. I'm Hazel Drummond."

"Oh, right! The Ravenclaw. I'm a year ahead of you; I just graduated from Hogwarts."

"I did, too," I said. "I went ahead and took my N.E.W.T.s in April, to get them out of the way."

She shrugged, sitting on her bed, which had altered to crimson comforter and gold sheets. "I would have done the same." She glanced around, taking in the small room. "So, ready to spend six weeks of your life here?"

I nodded, my eyebrows raising as I tried to conceal my sarcasm. "Yeah, it's bound to be super fun."

She chuckled. "I'm sure. Being stuck in a tiny room with someone you barely know, and I noticed you and Edith didn't particularly hit it off. Shame, really- she can be alright when she's not being a prat."

The way she said it caught me off-guard, and I couldn't help but chuckle. "I'd imagine she can be. Be alright, I mean- not… You know what I mean." I laughed again. "I'm sorry; I'm not usually this nervous. It's just the whole graduating early and now I'm spending six weeks in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people in an unfamiliar city, and it's got me a little on edge."

When I dared gauge her expression, there was warmth and understanding there, which she then voiced. "I get it. I'm in the same place; I'm just a little better at hiding it."

I smiled gratefully at her. Maybe it wouldn't be so horrible.

 **The** first week passed in a blur, the days blending together as I adjusted to the rigorous training schedule and got to know the people. There was a camaraderie in the loneliness and shock of being trapped somewhere new to learn how to face your fears, and we bonded quickly, though two sides quickly formed: the very casual people, and Edith Briar's clique. She had gathered the four other most powerful (and snobbish) witches in the camp, and claimed them as her new posse. I didn't know all of their names, because I was too focused on my own group. We were a small group; it was me, Bev, a small dark-haired girl named Ly Ngo, and a redhead girl named Lorraine Glen, who was purely Scottish, and spoke like it. :y and Lorraine were the girls from G4, across the hall from Bev and I.

The group was all I needed to help me adjust. I wrote letter after letter to Sirius and Mum; poor Archibalde was run down by the end of the first week, so I finally sent a letter requesting that Euphemia keep the poor owl for a few days and let her rest, instead borrowing James's big barn owl.

The training was difficult, but I adjusted quickly, more quickly than Lorraine though not as quick as Ly and Bev, who formed a fast rivalry. We woke in the morning, did group exercises, ran a mile, ate breakfast, studied dark magics until lunch, and then practiced spells. This would be the schedule for the first two weeks, and afterward we would move into more offensive training. _Defense_ Against the Dark Arts would not hold out in an actual battle, we were told, and instead we must learn how to be on the offense in battle without fighting dirty. But for the time being, we weren't there yet.

Our first weekend was a time for celebration. Our diligence during the first week rewarded us with tickets to go to a party; the best students received tickets first, and the worst students were left behind to study. I was among the first thirty to receive a ticket to the belated Summer Solstice party, which we would travel to via portkey, and travel back from together.

Saturday afternoon, I was released early from class. We had been sorted to our mentors; I received a tall, narrow, pale-faced man called Professor McDonough, whose sharp features and dark hair reminded me all too much of Professor Harley. McDonough was much more stern, however, and my quick affection due to the resemblance faded within the first two days. I did manage to impress enough for the party, though.

As it was summer, I put on a short-sleeved red dress with a tight bodice and flowing skirt that fell almost to my knees, cut by a black sash around my ribs. It was very 50's style, but it was simple enough to be time-appropriate. I pulled my hair into a braid and then bunned it, and did basic makeup, less so than I had done for the Christmas party an eternity ago. With that and a pair of black flats, I was prepped for the party, and had a few moments. I fed James's owl, a fluffy, grumpy beast with angry yellow eyes and a loud squawk, and then started on my next letter.

 _June 25, 1977_

 _Dear Sirius,_

 _The first week is almost done. We have our first party tonight, but it's not the same. I keep thinking about our various parties from the past school year- the birthday parties, the Christmas parties… All of the fun times we've shared. As wonderful as Bev and the others are, it's just not the same when you play a part in choosing the guest-list. At my birthday party, it was all people I liked. At the Christmas party in the Room of Requirement, it was so small and close and intimate that I couldn't protest the people. Now I have Xeno's awful cousin to try and ignore as she death-glares me for existing. I respect the girl's differed viewpoints, but she seemed a little full of herself and close-minded, and I can't stand it._

 _This would be so much more fun with you and James and Remus and Lily here. And Peter, though this doesn't seem to be his kind of place._

 _And, more than that, how am I supposed to go dance at a party when my legs feel like led from all the exercise I've been doing? You're going to be so entranced upon my return because I"ll have abs of steel but I'm going to be crying from soreness the whole time. Please have an entire cake waiting for me upon my return. I just want to relax._

 _Well, Beverly is headed back. I can always tell because a powerful aroma of cinnamon precedes her; it's not bad, just… Strong. She's so pretty. I hope you never meet her. You'd leave me. She's too pretty._

 _I love you, Sirius. I hope the days between now and when I next see you pass swiftly. I miss you and the others more and more each day._

 _All my love,,_

 _Hazel_

 _P.S. Send the others my love. Tell Remus to stop stressing about whatever it is. Ask Cassi to take it easy on Amos. Also, please enclose an image of our cottage in your next letter, so I may have evidence of it being furnished. I trust you, but I need proof._

 _P.P.S. I trust you with some things. I may have to write Remus for the truth on the progress of our new home._

 _P.P.P.S. Tell Lily I"m still her maid of honor, and that she still has no choice in the matter._

The door opened and I forced myself to stop adding post-scripts to pass time, and gave the ink another moment to dry before folding it and placing it in its envelope while Bev got dressed for the party, chattering about her experience with Professor McDonough, whose mood had drastically worsened after my leave.

I handed Henry, the owl named after James's grandfather, the letter, and he flapped out of the window after giving me a sharp, judgmental look. Beverly glanced after him, and then turned to me. "Hazel, why is it you're always sending letters?"

I glanced after the owl and shrugged, clasping my hands which currently had no purpose. "I just… I'm lonely here. The love of my life is in the West Country, and my mother is south of here, my best friend living with her and other closest friends living near my boyfriend. I miss them all so much, and I want to share this experience with them."

"I understand," Bev said, clasping her earrings in place, "But at the rate you're going, you'll run out of parchment a third of the way through. Why not journal instead of write letters? Then you can reuse the paper more."

Reuse the paper- oh! I have the quick-write papers! I smiled at Bev. "You just jogged my memory! Thank you so much!"

But the look she gave was sharp enough to kill a bee. "Do _not_ say the word 'jog' around me."

I just laughed; none of us wanted to hear that word anymore.

The party was going well. There was a roaring bonfire, happily chatting people, a live wizard band, and no sign yet that Death Eaters would swoop in and ruin everything, as they had a habit of doing any time I tried to have fun. There was no social awkwardness, either; 183 of the 200 students in the program attended the party, so Edith and her clique were well away from where I stood with my group, chatting casually and eating some of the snacks that had been offered to us from various platters.

"He was cute," Ly noted as one of the platter-carrying waiters strode away. A fond smile curved her thin mouth, and there was a faint glow in her dark eyes. I glanced after the man who had just left, a tall, jaunty fellow with shaggy brown hair.

"I can agree with that," Bev said, glancing after him as well. "He had a nice face, but he was too short for me."

"Most men are too short for you," Lorraine commented, amused. She was the shortest in the group, meaning Bev towered over her. The taller girl just rolled her eyes and grinned, her eyes scanning the crowd around her.

"He's not," she said, and sauntered off like a lioness hunting a gazelle toward a very tall, broad-shouldered man with blond hair in a messy ponytail. That left Ly, Lorraine, and I to stand here and watch her progress.

"You know what?" Ly said suddenly, after a moment of watching Bev's surprisingly successful attempt to flirt with a stranger, "I'm going after him."

"Not Bev's man, I hope?" Lorraine said, looking up with confusion. Ly laughed merrily.

"No, no- the waiter. He was too cute for me not to, and if Professor Donoghue taught me anything this past week, it's confidence."

With that said, she disappeared into the crowd, searching. Lorraine nodded and then looked up at me. "You're not disappearing too, are you?"

I glanced down at my friend, her sparkling emerald eyes betraying her desperation for me to stay. I smiled. "No, I'm not. I already have someone back home."

"Tell me about him," she said, an intrigued and warm smile crossing her face.

I hesitated, and then felt my cheeks already warming as I said, "His name is Sirius. He's beautiful, and he's everything I could want in someone. He's completely terrible at communication sometimes, but when it comes down to it, he knows how to treat someone. And he's hilarious, so that adds to it, though sometimes he takes it too far and becomes the ultimate trouble-maker. He had a reputation at school; you'd think a Gryffindor would be a little more…"

"Obedient to the rules?"

"Exactly," I said, "But it seems that Gryffindor bravery manifested into risk-taking." A frown crossed my face unexpectedly, as a dull heaviness seeded in my chest. "I worry about him. Six weeks apart; who knows what trouble he'll get into?"

Lorraine rested a reassuring hand on my arm. "Only five more weeks, and if he loves you as much as you love him, then he'll keep himself safe till you get back."

And something about the wisdom in Lorraine's face and the soft tone of her voice calmed the restless part of me that had been writing letters for the past six days. I took a deep breath.

"You're right. He's stronger than I'm giving him credit for. He'll be there when I get back. Now, this is a party! Let's have some fun."

We strode off into the night, quickly finding other groups to mingle with and getting to know other students. I met dozens of people that night, and while I felt it was inappropriate to do much dancing, I still had fun, and got to know lots of the wizards and witches I would be training with for five more weeks.

But as I laid down that night across the room from an exhausted, lovestruck Bev, one thought continued to worry me, as it had ever since I finally voiced it earlier tonight:

What trouble would he get into? Would he be there when I returned?

 _Did_ he love me enough to keep himself safe?

 **xxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** One more chapter down!

It's super late and my grandma's basically hinting that I should leave now to be respectful. It's only 9:30; not like she sleeps at normal times, right? I'm just kidding. I love my grandma. And she is very generous with her WiFi. (She even let me use her laptop to write this wonderful chapter for you lovely people!)

Please review with your thoughts and ideas and predictions; thank you so much for continuing to follow Hazel and Sirius's story, and all the twists and turns and struggling through the boring parts and really feeling the emotional ones. Thanks for reading!

 _(if there are any grammatical/spelling errors, I'm so sorry, I didn't have time to proofread because I wanted to get this to you guys tonight.)_


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

"Sirius."

The whisper rang out across the walls of the lavatory as I sat in a stall with a layer of parchment on my lap. Moonlight filtered in through the small window high up on the tile walls, and somewhere in the bathroom a tap was leaking, causing a continuous _tap, tap, tap_ to echo through the bathroom. Finally, on the piece of parchment with the large pawprint in the top-left corner, black writing in a messy scrawl began to appear, and my heartbeat sped in my chest.

 _Yes, Hazel Dearest? You called?_

This was the greeting I received each night as I began my secret conversations with Sirius. I learned from the first time I tried to get in touch with him that Bev asked far too many questions, and my secret means of communication would be doomed. The supervisors here had made it very plain that we were not to find ways to get in touch with others except through the traditional means of owls.

So naturally, I found a loophole; I blame Sirius for my rule-breaking, but really it's just my hormonal teenage heart and the feelings that fill it.

 **Sirius! I've been waiting all day to speak to you.**

 _As have I. How was your day, love?_

My heart fluttered; I missed him so much.

 **It was good. I was the first to finish the two-mile run this morning, though I still can't do as many push-ups as Ly. She's terribly good at every physical activity. And that horrible cousin of Xeno's, Edythe? She can run like a gazelle. But I hate her, so I had to run faster.**

 _You haven't mentioned all of the boys you've started to fancy. What about them?_

 **You should see the boys here. They make Hogwarts look like a home for beautiful boys, and you've seen some of the messes that come into Hogwarts.**

 _You're just saying that to make me feel better. Imagine if I were there; you'd sit around each day thinking, "Who is he going to leave me for?"_

 **I like to think that Edythe is too mean for you, Ly is too competitive, and Lorraine is just too nice. And Bev is just… She asks far too many questions. There are plenty of other girls here, but they don't stand out much, meaning they definitely wouldn't catch your hard-earned attention.**

 _And there's not a single male who has caught_ _ **your**_ _attention?_

 **Not a one. It's either diverted with thoughts of how much I miss you or how completely exhausted I am, or trying to remember the proper spell or information to impress these people. The teachers, not the students. Every now and then, I'm somewhat focused on making friends, but I'm content with Bev, Ly, and Lorraine.**

 _Good. No boys in your group?_

 **Bev's trying to recruit one because she fancies him, but he's rather antisocial. And even still that means he's in the same region as Amos or Adonis, or whoever Yumi's with now. Speaking of which, has she sent anything?**

 _I would've told you if she had. I'm sorry, my dear. I wish she would get in touch. James and I have started considering flying to her house to investigate, but he says we should at least wait out the summer._

 **But do** _ **we**_ **have to wait out the summer? I miss you terribly.**

 _Then I'll come see you._

 **What? Sirius, no, that's a horrible idea. The security on this place is almost as intense as Hogwarts.**

 _And yet we snuck out of there enough times. There are ways; you just have to find them. Find a way out tomorrow night. I'll meet you on the street and apparate you somewhere nice. I'm going to be there in my finest suit, so you had better be there._

The page suddenly cleared, meaning Sirius had finished the conversation. I tried catching his attention once more- several times- but he never replied.

Beetle-brained twit.

The next night, I did manage to find myself outside of the auror training camp, back out on Doble Street, where there was absolutely no sign of Sirius. After I managed to sneak around and figure out the passcode to get out into the teachers' quarters, sneak into there, sneak into Mr. Jangles', a heavyset man, room while he was dead asleep and steal his key, and then sneak out onto the street, there was absolutely no sign of my idiot boyfriend.

 _Daft beetle._

I crept around a corner into an alley, my mind flashing with all the memories of recent news articles about the war against Voldemort. My mind was reeling as my anxieties shot back up into the forefront of my brain. _Maybe Sirius got snatched. Maybe I'm going to. I am the pretty girl standing in an alley; that's dangerous even for muggles, though I could defend myself more easily against a muggle man, I think. Where is he? Why isn't he here? He said finest suit. I swear if that daft tit got snatched-_

Footsteps echoed down the street. My fears and uncertainties raged in my brain, but my training from the past few weeks also kicked in. Spells flitted by as passing thoughts, offensive and defensive alike, and I thrust myself out of the alley with my wand pointed outward-

Just to jab Sirius in the stomach.

He coughed heavily. "Well, hello, Hazel!" He huffed around his coughs.

"Oh, Sirius!" I gasped, sheathing my wand and yanking him into a hug. "I'm so sorry!"

He just chuckled, catching his breath, and pulled me into a hug. Almost instantly the world turned black and tight, darkness squeezing me as I buried my face in his chest to block out the peripheral images of places swirling by. Suddenly, our feet landed on ground, and I took a moment to catch my breath and steady myself before stepping back from Sirius. I glanced around, and then noticed where we were.

Moonlight dappled a clearing at the end of a hard dirt trail, looking to have been patted through a grassy forest by being trod on by many different feet. Leaves rustled in the breeze, and through the branches overhead I caught glimpses of the open starry sky. The half-moon hung as a faint glowing white semicircle, barely visible through the leaves. Most amazing, however, were the two shire horses standing tethered to a tree. One was black and white, with big white socks around its hooves and a white tail, her brown eyes locked on the tree before her. The other was dappled gray and white male, with white mane, tail, and socks. He continuously eyed us. Both were saddled and prepared to go, needing only to be untied from the tree.

"Sirius, did you do this?" I asked, staring at him. He smiled, his face dimly lit by the moonlight pouring through the interweaving branches of the trees overhead.

"Of course. And there's more to come. Do you need help getting up there?"

I eyed the shire mare, and shook my head. "No, I've got this one."

We made our way over to the horses and I took a minute to stroke the mare's forelock, establishing trust, and then untethered her and climbed into the saddle. It was considerably harder to mount her than the other horses I had ridden, but not impossible. We started down the trail after a short discussion of how the horses had been trained, and then we were free to ride along as the horses plodded through the tall grass and hard-packed dirt.

"How were you able to mount her so easily?" Sirius asked, once we had started moving.

I hesitated for a moment, and then finally replied, "Cassi had horses for a few years. My mum and I always wanted a horse, but never had the money to live anywhere with enough space for one. So during holidays, Cassi and I would go ride her horses. They were walking horses mostly, so they were easier to manage, but then her father bought a Clydesdale colt one day. He'd been told the colt was a different breed and much older than he actually was, and Cassi's father bought the horse. As we watched him grow, we quickly discovered such was not the case. However, we still managed to train him to be ridden. Shires are smaller than Clydesdales, so it wasn't that difficult."

Sirius nodded. "Just when I think you're already the most interesting person in the world, you go and prove you're that much more interesting. Soon, you'll be the most interesting person in the universe."

I cocked an eyebrow as the shire's hefty body shifted underneath me. "If I'm not already, then who is?"

"The alien queen from Mars, of course."

"Of course."

"She said she'd come back for me one day. I'm still waiting."

"So you're leaving me for an alien?"

He grinned at me in the dark. "She said I could bring a friend."

"Oh, well that makes me feel loads better. Little did you know, I'm already engaged to the alien prince of Venus. He's _lovely._ "

"Again with the puns. Will it ever end?"

"Never."

He chuckled, and then reached across the gap between our two horses to take my hand. He pressed his lips gently to my knuckles. "I could never leave you, Hazel Drummond. Not even for an alien queen."

"Really?"

"Really."

I looked over at him, planning to make some other joke, but all thoughts disappeared from my mind. The trees had cleared out some, and moonlight fell from overhead, shining on his dark hair and glinting in his silver eyes. It outlined the soft curves of his cheeks, the hard angle of his jaw, and cast shadows that seemed to deepen the beauty of his features. He rode his horse straight-backed, one hand on the reins, the other casually slung back behind him, with an air of confidence and bliss. I had never seen someone so perfect.

I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life.

Dawn was approaching by the time I apparated back to the auror training camp. It cast a pale gray blanket over a pearly Doble Street, raising mist from the humid stones of the sidewalks. Sirius and I stood in an alley for a minute longer, our fingers interlocked and our foreheads pressed together. I couldn't resist breathing in, catching his usual scent of rain and pine, heavy in the thick morning air and now coupled with leather from the black jacket hanging on his shoulders. He leaned up and touched his lips to my forehead, and then cupped my chin with one finger, tilting my head up toward him. Our lips connected, moving together and stirring a feeling I only identified with him, a warmth in my chest that seemed to fill my whole body and erase my troubles like morning dew.

I lingered kissing him for a few more minutes, and then pulled him into my arms, feeling a heaviness mount in my chest at the thought of parting once more.

"We'll be back under the same roof again before you know it, love," he whispered.

"I'm going to miss you," I whispered back, hugging him tightly.

"I love you, Hazel. I'll see you soon."

He stepped back. "I love you, too," I said, and with a _pop,_ he had apparated.

 **xxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** Thanks for being patient! Sorry it's been a month. I still love you guys, I'm just hella busy. Work, school, unpacking, etc. Haven't had time to write in a while. Sorry!

If you have any suggestions for things Hazel can do at her auror training camp, please let me know! I'm open to suggestions right now, as I didn't really plan enough to happen within there.

Thanks for reading! Please don't forget to review/follow/fave!


	7. Chapter Seven

July swept in warm and bright, sending sunshine and showers across London daily. Our teachers wanted to send us out on missions, to get field experience, but it was impossible with the unpredictable weather. Even the muggle weathermen had no idea what to say; every day there was a 50%-100% chance of rain, storms, or even flooding. The streets were constantly slick with precipitation, and then burning from an oppressive sun that bore heat down upon them mercilessly. Finally, Professor Norman gave up and said we'd just have to bring weather protective wear.

We were grouped up by ranking of ability. Our aptitudes were measured and placed, and we were collectively separated into quadrants and given ranks within said quadrants. Which we were in was to remain confidential; there was no gossiping about who outranked who. And then the worst happened.

We were placed in groups with someone from each quadrant.

There would be someone in the top 25%, someone in the top 50%, someone in the top 75%, and someone in the last 25%. We would be going on a field mission with a group composed thus and an assistant to the professors, someone already trained to fight dark wizards, and we would be sent to a region of "suspicious activity" to investigate. We were not to engage in combat, but instead to discover the source of whatever dark thing was happening. Groups were posted July 4th, a Monday.

I went to the wall outside the mess hall after eating breakfast, having waited out the crowd, and then groaned. In official font, a paper read:

ASST: Frank Longbottom

GRP: Edith Briar

Hazel Drummond

Clark Daubshire

Douglas Graeme

With a huff of frustration, I stormed back into the mess hall and sat down next to Bev.

"Not who you wanted?" She inferred from my stormy expression, and I just groaned.

"Edith Briar."

"Ah." She patted my shoulder in sympathy. "I'm so sorry."

"You're lucky," I grumbled. "You got Lorraine and that bloke you were hitting on at the solstice party."

She shrugged. "Well, who else is in there?"

"Clark Daubshire and Douglas Graeme." I sighed. "The curly-haired dork who caught someone on fire and the snobby know-it-all who argued with me last week about whether or not a bezoar can be used to cure common poisonings."

"Can it?"

"Of course it can! My best friend was a potions whiz and she never shut up about bezoar-this, bezoar-that." I stopped myself, closing my eyes. "I'm so grumpy. That ruined my whole day."

"What did?" Lorraine asked, sitting down. Her auburn hair was falling in pretty ringlets, and her golden-green eyes seemed to sparkle. I hate you both, you and your unreasonably good looks and good fortune. How come you get to be pretty and hang out together and get a mission with males who actually know what they're doing? This is horseshit.

"Edith Briar is in Hazel's group," Bev replied.

"Ooh, that's tough," Lorraine said, and I shrugged.

"Tell me about it. Who's in Ly's group?"

The fourth member of our small group sat down. "Brianne Norman, the professor's daughter, and two males I don't know."

"Sounds lovely."

"Hazel's thinking, 'At least it's not Edith Briar,'" Lorraine joked, and just then the tall, willowy, mouse-haired figure of Edith Briar came to a halt behind her.

"What's not Edith Briar?"

We all glanced up. Edith was giving us a death-glare from gray-blue eyes, which flickered between us.

"We were talking about our groups," I cut in. "Bev was saying… Um… That she heard you're kind of a neat freak, and she doesn't like to clean, so sharing a dorm with you wouldn't have been easy."

Edith shrugged. "I like keeping stuff picked up. Anyway, Hazel, Mr. Longbottom wants us to meet him at the entrance to the building before nine. If you see Clark, please tell him; I was headed to get Douglas now to tell him. I'll see you soon."

She strode off, and a breath of relief washed over our table like the sun appearing after a storm. Lorraine let out a sigh. "I thought she would kill us! Nice save, Hazel."

I just laughed breathlessly. "Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure."

A look of disgust passed Lorraine's face. "You're a Ravenclaw?"

"To the bone."

She sighed. "Of course you are. I'm a Hufflepuff."

"Gryffindor," Bev piped up.

"Slytherin," Ly added.

I glanced around at them all. "We're all from different houses. That's unbelievable."

But then I noticed the glare Bev and Ly were sharing.

"Hey! Snap out of it," I said, clapping my hands between them. They both jolted, looking at me, still unhappy. I sighed. "We all got on just fine. Why should house rivalries matter now, when we're all out of Hogwarts? What does it matter? We're friends. That's what's important."

They continued to stare, and then Bev sighed. "You're right. Sorry, Ly."

Ly nodded. "It's not a problem. I was… I was bullied by Gryffindors my first four years at Hogwarts, so I'm kind of prejudiced. But I won't hold that against you."

Bev smiled. "I appreciate that. And if I ever find out who did that, I'll knock their lights out."

The conversation continued, our group overcoming our differences; I couldn't help but wonder what houses my group members were from. When breakfast was over, we parted ways, some reluctant and some enthusiastic. I was among the former group as I headed toward mine. Clark was already waiting, fidgeting and readjusting his hands, his dark eyes searching the room. They lightened some as he spotted me, hope glistening in the depths, and I walked over and stood awkwardly next to him, folding my arms across my chest.

"Hi," I greeted him.

"H-hey," he replied, a hopeful smile on his lips. He studied his feet and the floor as I glanced around for any sign of Edith and Douglas. I soon spotted Edith's pin-straight hair and lifeless eyes as she made her way to us, parting with her group, and just before she reached us Douglas popped up to our left, his platinum hair pushed back as usual and his grey eyes lit with an unspoken joke.

"So, what do you think we'll be doing?" Douglas asked. "The mission, what'll it be?"

Clark shrugged, Edith ignored him, and I didn't know what to say. With a sigh, I reflected- not for the last time- on what a fun trip I had ahead.

 **X~X**

By the time we left, we had a general understanding of where we would be going and why. Traveling by broomstick seemed a bit much, so the Floo network was decided upon; we would travel by Floo to London, and then be posing as muggles in the darker parts of the city to get better insight of the happenings there in a discreet way. I doubted how well the others would be at disguises; wizards weren't particularly known for their abilities to pose as muggles. We reached our hotel, one of the few in the city that was open to magic-folk and muggles alike, and checked in. To my utter dismay, I would be rooming with Edith. That rotten chaperone, Frank, would be in a room of his own, while the boys would share another.

Frank was an interesting fellow, not particularly charismatic and rather gangly. With a long nose and curly black hair and hollow eyes, he seemed more the type to have a quiet ability than the type to be overconfident. Strangely, I liked that a lot about him; I had met a number of wizards who over-estimated themselves, and knowing we were in the hands of one who would be more honest was reassuring.

...Until he cast engorgio on a pancake and somehow caught it on fire. That kind of ended my idea of him being quietly competent.

I entered my room with Edith and began unpacking my suitcase. Edith was already in the bathroom, showering, and I took the few minutes I had to myself to collapse on my bed face-down and feel sorry for myself. I wasn't over-eager to share a room with Edith, but I hadn't much choice at this point. It had been my idea to come here, but it seemed with each passing day my motivation was waning. The events on the train last December, the attack at the quidditch pitch, and all the other things that had made me so determined to be an auror all seemed like distant memories at this point, lost in a haze of long days and hard training.

Suddenly, a loud clattering banged against the window, and I heard a shrill shriek from outside. I leapt up in shock and hurried over to the window, looking out to see a tawny and gray owl unhappily flapping upward to the window, eyes crossed. Once I'd opened the window, the poor thing flapped into the room and dropped a bundle of letters on the floor and then circled back out. I glanced down at the letters and picked them up, reading the labels. One from Alice to Frank, one from Rosemarie to Edith, two for Douglas, and-

Sirius!

I unearthed Sirius's letter from the bottom of the pile, and saw one from Amos as well, and another from Remus. I grabbed my letters and stashed them under my pillow. I left the room and doled out the others, and then returned in time to see Edith exiting the bathroom, her hair soaked and darkened from her shower. She towel-dried the ends as she moved to her bed, wearing loose-fitting pale blue pajamas. I walked over to her.

"This came for you," I said, handing her the letter. She snatched it from my hand without looking at me and tore it open. With a shrug, I returned to my bed and withdrew my three. I saved Sirius's for last, opening Amos's first.

 _Hazel,_

 _Send help. I'm dying._

 _Cassi is getting ever more cranky as her due-date approaches. Two months left, you know; I have no idea how I'm still surviving. She's offered to go stay with her mother, but this child is my doing as much as hers. Bad phrasing, that._

 _Anyhow. She's very eager for you to get back, and is convinced the child will come early. Strangely, despite the pregnancy hormones, I'm hoping the child will be a little late; at least that way, he or she will be sufficiently ready for the world. I tried mentioning that to her and she threatened to curse me. I have no idea what to say to her anymore._

 _We have come up with names, though! For a girl, Cassi likes Emma Lynn, after my mother and hers. For a boy, we've decided on Cedric._

 _She's waking up now. If you've any advice on how to calm a hormonal Cassi, please send it. I'm losing my mind here._

 _Kind regards,_

 _Amos Diggory._

Chuckling quietly, I set his letter on the end table and opened the next, this one from Remus.

 _Dear Hazel,_

 _Please enclose a leash upon your return letter. Your boyfriend is dreadfully mischievous without you around to stop him from stirring up trouble, and if he tracks muddy paw-prints into the cottage one more time, I'm building a picket fence and buying a dog chain and collar. Do you know any muggle stores which may sell dog food and flea-spray cheap?_

 _Sirius matters aside, the situation around Godrick's Hollow has darkened immensely in the past week. Sirius doesn't want me to mention it; he says you should be allowed to focus on your schooling. I, however, believe you have a right to know what's happened. Fleamont has fallen ill; Euphemia can't figure out why. She's tried everything to cure him, and nothing takes. James is worried sick about him, and hasn't been home much, despite Lily's concerns and requests that he stay home more. She has a bad feeling, she says, and he agrees, but his agreement takes form in him roaming the perimeters of the town, seeking out some source of dark magic._

 _It's still ten days till the next full moon, and I'm already feeling ill. Sirius is worried it's the same incurable illness afflicting Fleamont, despite my protests that it's normal werewolf illness a little sooner than usual. He and I have agreed not to say anything to anyone else, but I thought you should know, as you'll be living with me as well. You have a right to know._

 _I've seen dark figures lurking in shadows outside the cottage at night. Lily has voiced the same, which is the cause of James's constant patrolling. After the incident last winter just outside the town, it's no wonder he's concerned; nonetheless, he should be home with his fiance. Lily is a brilliant witch, but James is far more fierce and unforgiving than she. Take heed of everything you can learn at your training camp; none of us here can shake the feeling that trouble is on the horizon. We'll need all the fighting strength we can muster._

 _Best of wishes,_

 _Remus Lupin_

Heart pounding, I set down Remus's letter, feeling considerably more anxious than I had after reading Amos's. I was glad Cassi was far from Godrick's Hollow, and terrified that my other friends weren't far enough from danger. With some reluctance, I opened Sirius's letter.

 _Hazel dearest!_

 _I've missed you more than words can express. Why haven't you been using your quick-writing paper as much lately? I miss our late-night chats. Our date the other night was wonderful; I've missed your beautiful face ever since. I dream about your eyes each night._

 _All my love, Sirius_

 _P.S. If Moony says I'm misbehaving, ignore him. He's only being sensitive._

That was it? That was barely a paragraph. I set down Sirius's letter by the others and then put each back in their respective envelopes, and stashed them in my end table. I glanced at Edith, seeing she was busily writing back to whoever Rosemarie was. I sighed heavily; how come Sirius had said less than either of the other two? He was the one I most wanted to hear from, and yet… I mentally shook myself. Remus's warning should be more than enough for me to forget any romantic drama and instead focus on my training. It should, but I was still having trouble getting past it.

"Edith?"

"What?"

"Do you mind if I take a shower?"

"Why would I?"

I just nodded and rose to my feet. I grabbed what I needed to shower and then went into the bathroom, still worrying incessantly. The shower helped me relax some, but only in the way that I stopped worrying about Sirius and started worrying about Lily, James, Fleamont, Euphemia, and Remus. Amos and Cassi would be fine; I wasn't too worried about them. I quite liked the name Emma Lynn Diggory, and I knew Cassi would be thrilled to have a daughter, but I couldn't shake the feeling she would have a son.

Once I finished showering, I dressed quickly in my pajamas and toweled my hair. Once it was mostly dried, I left the bathroom and entered the room. Edith was awake still, apparently rereading the letter from Rosemarie. I laid down in my bed, pulling the blankets up. Edith still had a lamp on over on her side of the room, but its light barely reached me. I could easily fall asleep if my mind would shut up.

After ten minutes or so, I still couldn't sleep for worrying, and Edith was still awake. I turned over so I was facing her.

"Are you alright?"

She glanced at me, and then quickly folded her letter and shoved it in the end table. "Doesn't matter."

She turned off the lamp, casting the room in darkness, and I heard her move so she was laying down.

"Yes, it does, Edith," I whispered.

"Why?"

"Because if you're emotionally unwell, then you're a liability in battle. Trust me, I know that from experience. If you need to talk about anything-"

"My sister was killed last night. No, I don't want to talk about it."

At that, I shut up. There was nothing I could say that would ease that pain.

 **X~X**

The next few days passed without incident. Frank and I joined forces to explain muggle lifestyle to the others, and we journeyed around London keeping an eye out for danger. Frank explained to us we were a reconnaissance detail, out to find out more about the so-called Death Eaters. The goal was to stay out of direct danger, and only spy instead. But I was preoccupied by the letters I had received, none of which I had responded to yet.

I was out with Clark at a convenience store grabbing another loaf of bread when I spotted a shadowy figure in the back of the store. Donning a black beanie and a long, slick black leather trench-coat, his dark curls looked familiar. He was reaching into a cooler of drinks. I nudged Clark.

"I'm going to investigate the shadow in the corner," I said quietly, and began roaming the aisles of snacks, pretending to check prices as I edged closer. As I rounded the corner of the aisle I was on and moved to the next, the dark figure turned sharply and I met eyes with him.

Regulus Black.

In a flurry, he had grabbed my arm and led me out of the store. I started to protest, but something made me trust him, even after everything. He escorted me out of the store and into a narrow alley next door, where he pinned me to the brick wall by my shoulder.

"My aggression is for show. I'm being watched."

I nodded, keeping my mouth clamped shut. His eyes flickered out into the street.

"You're marked, Hazel Drummond, as much as I am. The whole Black family is marked. Warn Sirius to keep his head low; they're in Godrick's Hollow for him. Our cousin Bellatrix hopes he'll join the Dark Lord."

"What-!?" I gasped, and he clamped a hand over my mouth.

"Get out of London if you can. If you can't, don't interfere with anything. It's not safe out here for any of you. Take your friend back to your hotel and get out. This isn't the place for learning or whatever it is you lot are trying to do. There are secrets I'm investigating; I'll inform you when I found out more. Please, Hazel- keep my brother safe, if you can. He needs to stay far away from all of this. Tell him… Well, he knows. Just keep him safe."

With a heart-startling pop, he apparated away. My heart started pounding as the meaning of his words hit me, and I whirled out of the alley and into the store, grabbing Clark and yanking him out.

"Hazel! What are we doing? Where are we going-!?"

"Not now, Clark. Not enough time."

I reached the street and whistled. A cab pulled over and I hopped in, pulling Clark with me. "Bradbush Inn on Noxbury, please."

The muggle cab driver pulled off the shoulder and into the busy London street, hurrying down.

"Hazel, what's-?"

"Hush, Clark. I said not now."

The cab driver glanced at us in the rearview mirror but questioned nothing. I kept looking out the window, expecting to see Death Eaters at every turn while also worrying that Sirius was doing the same. Sirius was in danger; whatever hopes I had for this program were gone, now replaced by overwhelming need to get back to Sirius, to protect him. We had come here for information, and I had gotten all the information I needed.

The cab finally reached the hotel. As soon as it pulled over, I thrust a wad of bills into the front and jumped out, running into the hotel. Clark was just behind, having a harder time keeping up with his heavier frame, and I barely noticed him as I sprinted upstairs. I reached Frank's room and knocked heavily on the door. Douglas poked his head out into the hall.

"What's happened? What's going on?"

"Get Edith and meet me in here. We have to leave," I snapped, and just then the door opened. Frank stood there with his dark curls a mess, his eyes wide amid his long face.

"Miss Drummond? What is it?"

I strode into the room in time for Edith and Douglas to walk in behind me, and Frank closed and locked the door. Frank's room was only a twin-size bed and a couch, and I paced as the others found places to sit, except for Frank who still leaned on the door.

"I ran into someone I knew from Hogwarts and he gave me a warning. We have to leave."

"What?" Edith snapped. "Why do we have to leave?"

I glanced around them, trying to think of how to explain. I finally decided just to spit it out. "If any of you know the Black family, I've just been informed by one of theirs that the whole family has joined the Dark Lord, except for one family member in Godrick's Hollow, who I'm… Dating. Anyway, he said I'm being watched, as is his brother in Godrick's Hollow, and he warned us that we all must leave. It's far more dangerous than any field mission should be."

The others just stared, till finally Edith said, "Why should we trust you? What makes any of us think you're not just trying to get out of this mission because you're bored and don't like any of us?"

I glared at her. "That's not true. You're the only one here who I've had a problem with. I barely know these three. Look, someone I love is in danger, and I'm not waiting around here for something bad to happen!"

"Something bad? What would you know about that?" Edith snapped, rising to her feet. I met her furious glare with my own.

"Oh, I don't know, but if you've read anything of the Daily Prophet you would know what all has happened to me in the past half-year! The train that was caught on fire in December when I and countless muggles were attacked by Death Eaters, the attack on the Hogwarts quidditch pitch? Both of those were events I was part of! I understand you lost your sister, but I nearly lost my sanity, and this war has been trying on both of us! Don't act like you're the only one who's been through things."

"Wait,' Frank interrupted. "Hazel Drummond- oh."

I glanced back at him. "What?"

"Edith, Douglas, Clark, please give me and your friend- er, Hazel- a moment."

The other three left the room, and I watched them go without remorse. As soon as the door was closed again, I stared down Frank. "I'm leaving, Frank, regardless of what else happens here. I can't leave him-"

"Sirius Black, I know. I hadn't thought to see if anyone in the auror training program was a member of the Order."

I froze. "What order?"

"The Order of the Phoenix, of course," he said, smiling. "My wife Alice and I are both members. Dumbledore had told us of the newest members, but it only hit me as you were describing the events you've been through that you were, well, you. Go ahead; apparate to your friends. I'll have your belongings shipped to you. The rest of us will return to the training program. Can you give me the name of you source of information?"

An image of Regulus suffering the cruciatus curse or worse because someone found out he gave me information stopped me from saying his name. "I can't, sorry. It might put him at risk."

Frank nodded, beginning to pace. "That much is true. Can you tell me what kind of danger we're in?"

"This whole mission is a risk," I explained. "We're all being watched by his followers- the Dark Lord's, that is. My informer knew we've been staying in a hotel and that we're here for information; if he knew, then his companions likely do, too. I know it gives you lot less protection for me to leave, but Sirius is in more danger than any of us here. Leave quickly, Frank. I'll see you at the Order."

He nodded. "Go. I'll get them out. My inability with magic is more for show, so I'll be under-estimated."

I nodded back at him, and apparated.

 **xxx**

 **A/N:** Sory it's been forever! Here's 4,000 words to make up for it, and more to come!


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

"Hazel!"

I was immediately engulfed in a hug and a wealth of bright copper hair. The scent of flowers and honey hit me, and I hugged Lily back, my reaction delayed by surprise. "Oh, hi, Lily!"

She stepped back from the hug, her hands still on my arms, and looked me up and down. "What brings you here?"

"Sirius," I answered. "Do you know where he is?"

"Likely at the cottage; why? What's wrong?"

"Get James. We need to go there immediately."

Lily dashed upstairs, and I waited in the foyer of the Potters' house. Euphemia appeared from the kitchen and peeked out at me, her hazel eyes worried. "Hazel? What's wrong?"

I shook my head, hearing James running through the upstairs hallway. "James will have to catch you up later."

The man himself appeared on the stairs. As he bounded down them, two at a time, he called down, "Hazel, what's happened?!"

"Nothing yet, but something will if we don't leave soon."

James reached the bottom and stared at me with earnest hazel eyes, gleaming brown and gold and green. "Is Sirius in danger?"

"Immense danger."

James nodded, grabbing a coat from the hanger next to the door. "Nothing more to say. Let's go. Lily, stay here."

"But I should come!"

"No, you shouldn't. Stay out of harm's way."

He bustled out of the house, and I glanced at frustrated Lily apologetically, and then left as well. James was already halfway out of the front yard, moving at a brisk walk, and I jogged till I'd caught up with him and we walked on together toward the cottage. He glanced at me, ruffling his hair with one hand.

"Is he safe for now?"

"No idea. We need to move fast."

"You're sure whatever this is isn't some kind of trap?"

Remembering the earnest in Regulus's voice, I nodded. "I'm sure."

We hurried down the streets and were soon at the cottage. I had a brief feeling of merriment at being here, but it was short-lived in my anxious state. James seemed equally anxious, though he didn't show it as much.

We climbed the porch steps and opened the door, and Remus looked up with dark blue eyes bright and a wide smile.

"Hazel! You're back early!"

I gave him a brief smile. "Hi, Remus. Not back early for pleasure, I'm afraid. Where is Sirius?"

He seemed to pick up on the fear radiating between James and me and he quickly grew serious as well. He set down his book and stood. "He was out back, last I saw."

"No, no, no!" I exclaimed, all of my fears flashing through my mind. I sprinted toward the back of the house down the central hallway, to the backdoor at the end. If Bellatrix gets him- if she even gets near him- he could- and Fenrir-!

The worst sorts of images flashed through my mind. I burst through the backdoor, expecting not to see him, and then spotted a shaggy-furred black dog, trotting out of the trees into the tall grass of our backyard.

"Sirius!" I shouted, jumping the steps from the back porch into the yard, and Sirius raced back to me, jumping up in dog form to put his paws on my shoulders. He licked my face and I chuckled, pulling back. "Sirius, cut it out. Shift back and change and meet me inside, immediately. James, keep an eye on him."

I stood and left him, going back inside. Part of me remembered the painful brevity of his last letter to me, but at this moment, that was irrelevant. My only concern was making him safe again. As I reached the living room, Remus was still standing by the armchair where he'd been sitting.

"What's going on, Hazel? Is Sirius okay?"

"Right now, yes," I answered. "My hope is that he'll stay that way."

Remus, more patient than most people I know, sat down again and took a steadying breath. I couldn't sit; I paced, waiting anxiously for James and Sirius to re-enter the cottage. I was seconds from storming back out to check on them when they walked back through the backdoor and down the hall. Cinder gray eyes met mine and I gasped.

"Sirius!"

I raced forward and met him at the hallway entrance, burying my face in his chest and wrapping my arms around him. He embraced me as well, the welcoming fragrance of pine and rain radiating from him. I hugged him close, and then pulled back and pressed my lips to his.

Kissing him again, knowing he was safe, was the most reassuring thing in the world to me just then. His lips pressed back to mine, as perfect and warm and plump as ever, and I buried my hands in his dark, wavy hair. He was so perfect, and in that moment, I loved him more than any kiss could justly express.

But the kiss ended, and I had to force myself not to hug him again. I just wanted him close to me, buried in my arms where I would know he was safe, but that was impractical just now.

"Hazel, love, what happened?" Sirius asked, looking down at me with a half-smile.

"Sit, or I won't be able to stop hugging you long enough to talk," I commanded, and he chuckled and sat. James anxiously paced, leaned on the wall, moved to a chair, and started pacing again, as I stood in front of Sirius and Remus trying to gather how to say this.

"Just say it already!" James snapped. "What happened?"

"Calm down," I snapped back, and then sighed and sat on the couch. I looked over at the three and took a deep breath, and then turned my eyes to Sirius. "I ran into your brother in London."

Sirius grew still, concern lighting his eyes. "You mean Regulus?"

"Have you any other brothers?" Remus asked.

"No, he doesn't," I said. "So yes, Regulus. He was in a muggle store, and we stepped out to talk. I was there on a field mission to gain information about Death Eater activities, and oh, did I. I have some bad news, Sirius; your brother says your whole family, almost, has joined forces with Voldemort. That's why the Death Eaters are here; they're after you. They want you to join them."

"They can't have me!" Sirius exclaimed, rising to his feet immediately. "I'm not theirs to take, blood or not! They kicked me out last year regardless, and I've been living with the Potters since!" Sirius glanced at Remus and James; Remus had a calculating and worried look, while James's expression was more akin to righteous fury.

"They can't have Sirius," James repeated. "He's only a member of that family by name. He's not even on the family tree anymore, for crying out loud!"

"Regulus wanted you to know, Sirius," I said.

"Then that means-" Sirius stopped short, his eyes closing. He hung his head and sighed. "That means they got him already."

I sighed as well. "Yes, they've recruited him. But I don't think his heart is in it."

"No telling who else they have, then."

"One more thing," I said, gaining the full attention of the boys once more. I met Sirius's eyes again. "Your cousin is here."

"Which one? We've got a map of all fifty of them."

"Bellatrix."

"Oh, bloody-! That bitch is here!? Does she know you are!?"

"I don't know," I said. "Regulus said I've been marked as a target. As have you. Neither of us are safe right now."

"Then we should fight until we are," James said.

"James, no," Remus interrupted, staring down his friend. "If you go out and make yourself a target as well, then that puts you and Lily and your mother at risk. Do you want that? Do you want all of us targeted?"

"I can't sit by and watch my best friend get killed!"

The words hovered in the air, and I saw a visible flinch in Remus's eyes. He sighed and looked away, and I felt a pang in my heart. They were supposed to all be best friends; it must be even harder for Remus to be the outsider even within his friend group. He turned forward again, though, as steady as always.

"Then go out and get yourself and all the rest of us killed," Remus said, his voice crisp. "That's all that will happen if you go storming the Bastille tonight. The Death Eaters will kill all of us, except for Sirius, who they'll likely try and brainwash, torture, and then kill."

"I won't work for anyone who harms my friends," Sirius growled, and glanced at me. "Or her."

Great. I'm 'her.' Remus looked over at Sirius. "Be that as it may, you're still in a lot of danger already."

"Regulus said to lay low," I said. "He said not to put yourself in unnecessary danger, because you're in enough already. So am I. We both need to hide out somewhere."

"I'm not the type to run and hide, Hazel," Sirius snapped at me, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Then you're the type to die without reason," I snapped back. I rose to my feet and looked at Remus. "Perhaps it's because I've been away so long, but apparently my words don't mean anything to Sirius anymore. You talk some sense into these two."

"No, don't go," Remus protested, but I was already out the door. I started down the driveway back toward the road, trying to figure out where to go; I could apparate to go see Cassi and my mother and Amos, or go visit Lily and Euphemia, or-

"Hazel, wait! I'm sorry!"

I paused at the voice behind me. It wasn't exactly the one I wanted to hear. I sighed and turned around.

"Remus is talking to Sirius now," James continued. "I'm going back in a minute to talk to him as well. He's belligerent right now; he hates anything to do with his family, and learning all of that, especially about Regulus-"

"I know, James," I said. "But that doesn't warrant him snapping at me like that because I want the two of us to be safe. I'm not the type to run and hide, either, but there's no sense in making targets of ourselves."

"Just being in the Order will do that," James replied. "You have to accept that."

"He's in more danger than any of us!" I exclaimed, stepping closer to James. "Remember who his family is! They condemn even half-bloods, and they'll never accept his views! They won't stop until he's with them or dead! He needs to be somewhere safe!" My voice cracked. "And he won't listen to me. He doesn't care what I think about it, or about how devastated I would be to lose him. He doesn't even care that he could lose me as well."

James put his hand on my shoulder, looking at me intensely. "He does care, Hazel. It would kill him to lose you."

"Then remind him of that, because he seems to be the only one who doesn't realize it."

James sighed and, to my utmost surprise, yanked me into a hug. He held me there, and I started to hug back, then stopped, then hugged, and he patted my back awkwardly.

"This is much more awkward than I'd thought it would be."

"Agreed."

He stepped back from the hug, half-laughing. "I'd thought we were better friends by now."

"No, you're still annoying, and so am I."

"Not as annoying as Sirius," James said, and I chuckled.

"That much is true."

He grinned. "So, will you come help us convince him not to be an idiot?"

"I will if I can," I finally said, and then hesitated before adding, "James, do you know if his feelings for me have changed? I thought all was going well, but his last letter was barely a few sentences. Even Remus is more wordy than that."

"Remus is also a better writer," James answered. "And Sirius has been busy, but I assure you, his feelings for you have not changed. He never shuts up about you."

I started walking back, and James joined me at my side. "That's good. It just worried me."

"It would be a tragedy to lose Sirius," James said, "But give it a couple days and he'll be so clingy you'll wish you hadn't come back."

I smiled. "I doubt that I'll wish that."

He shrugged. "You might. You just might."

We re-entered the cottage, the second time in perhaps ten minutes, and found Sirius and Remus sitting in tense silence, Sirius across the room from Remus in the kitchen, leaning on the counter. Remus was still in his armchair, and refused to look at Sirius, who glanced up as we entered with furious cinder eyes.

"And now you go chasing after Hazel, like you haven't betrayed me enough by siding against me?" Sirius snapped, and James froze. "Getting Lily wasn't enough for you? Now you had to go after Hazel, too? Oh, sod it."

And just like that, he apparated.

In the stunned silence of the front room of our cottage, with James, Remus, and me all staring at the spot where Sirius disappeared, there was only one question for me to ask:

"What did he mean about you getting Lily, James?"


	9. Chapter Nine

"He had carried a bit of a torch for her in our third year, but she wasn't interested in him. It became a competition between us, and while he acted for a while like it didn't matter, apparently it still did."

"So, all this time- since February-?"

I didn't have to finish my sentence. James shrugged. We were both still staring at the spot Sirius disappeared from, frozen where we stood. "Apparently, all this time since fourth year, when he ceased to feel that way about her. Or that's what he told me then, which apparently wasn't true."

"Mhm."

"Hazel," Remus said, "Would you like to go out for dinner tonight? James, you can bring Lily, too. I think we'd all do well just to leave this house a while."

"No," I said. "I think I need to talk to you, Remus. James, you don't mind, do you?"

The dark-haired boy shook his head. "I think I'll take this time to go speak to my mother and fiance. Lily and I may have a lot to talk about tonight."

With a sigh, he left, and I walked numbly to the armchair where Sirius had been sitting, by Remus, and collapsed. "He really thought James was- was after me..? And he… Oh, this is more than I can take in one day."

Remus sighed as well and glanced over at me. "Want us to just make dinner here? We've got groceries, and no idea where Sirius went. He may come back here."

I looked over at him, and then shook my head. "No; I don't want to wait around for him to come back. I know he supposedly did that for me while I was away, but- but I don't care. I need to get out of here a while, Remus. I just got here and I already need to leave. Mind coming with?"

"Not at all." He stood from his chair, and I did the same. "Are we eating locally or no?"

I shook my head. "There's a restaurant in Oxford that's witch- and wizard-only. Fairly tasty, reminds me of Hogwarts food. Join me there?"

He nodded, and with a _pop!_ , we'd apparated away.

 **X~X**

"You're sure about this?"

"I've done this three times a summer since I started at Hogwarts and once a month while I was there. James and Peter are coming with me, and while it's easier with Sirius, he still isn't back, so I have to go with the two of them only. I'll be back tomorrow evening, around this time."

"I still don't know that it's the safest option-"

"It's the _only_ option, Hazel. I'll be back tomorrow. Keep Lily safe, and keep yourself safe, too."

I only nodded and hugged Remus one more time. I had never been even distantly involved in the full moon excursions of him and the other Marauders, and even being an animagus myself didn't feel it was my place to interfere. Maybe in the distant future, but not yet. Remus offered me a tired smile; the past week had weighed on him, as he had mentioned in his letter, and had been worse without Sirius here. Remus and I co-existed well under the same roof, but neither of us had anticipated how much we relied on Sirius to keep the mood light. It was a dark mood indeed; for someone who claimed not to run and hide, Sirius had done just that, and well.

Remus left the kitchen to the backyard, where James was waiting with Lily. Euphemia was upstairs with Fleamont; she had been worrying over him endlessly. A letter from Frank had stopped my worrying over Edith, Clark, and Douglas, but I still had plenty more to worry about. With James leaving with Remus tonight, it would be a house of worrying women and an ill Fleamont.

Trying to keep my hands busy, I started on the dishes from dinner. None of us had eaten much, some not at all, so there wasn't much to clean. I hadn't finished by the time Lily re-entered the house, and she began numbly drying dishes next to me.

"Think he'll come back?" she asked quietly, and I busied myself intently scrubbing a spot of tomato sauce off of a porcelain plate.

"Who?"

"Sirius," she answered, placing the now-dried mug she'd been cleaning in the cabinet next to her.

"How should I know? He hardly tells me anything."

"You two weren't apart that long, and you've loved each other for years."

Lily was still oblivious to Sirius's past feelings for her. I couldn't help a twinge of envy looking at her; she was everything I'm not. She's pale, I'm tan; she's a redhead, I'm blonde; she's freckled, I'm not; she's short, I'm tall; she's slender, I'm muscled; she's Gryffindor, I'm… Ravenclaw. And it's back to the same problem that always plagued mine and Sirius's relationship: Hogwarts houses. And all this was excepting the obvious personality differences between Lily and I; she was timid and sweet, and I was neither. Quite the opposite, really.

"Maybe we haven't," I said. "Not the way I thought, at least. You know he stopped writing to me as much during my last couple of weeks away, and when he did, he didn't say much."

"He was very busy here, between tormenting Remus to keep his mood light and avoiding Death Eaters and trying to keep James happy. Not to mention Dumbledore stopped by more than once; the Order will start having meetings in August, and we're all to go to them. I think we've all been a bit apprehensive, and the time just before the full moon is always worst."

I finished the plate and set it in the drain. By now, Lily had dried all the others, and began working on this one as I started on the pot. "I imagine it's easier when Remus's lifeline hasn't run off."

"And what about you, Hazel? I know you're not as detached as you're pretending to be. This hurt you, and it's okay to say so."

"Saying so won't make it any easier for me. Besides, what Sirius did to me is more personal, less pronounced than his betrayal of Remus. Remus is and always has been Sirius's best friend, alongside James, and Sirius is far away during Remus's time of need. It's just… It's wrong."

"So is leaving the girl he supposedly loves," Lily pointed out. I sighed, scrubbing with more ferocity. I wanted this pot cleaned so I could be left alone for a while; I didn't want to stand in the kitchen with Lily Evans talking about my vulnerabilities.

"James left tonight with Remus, and he's part of the Order. He won't be around much, either."

"You know it isn't the same. James always comes back." Lily was silent for a long moment, seeming contemplative, and then she sighed. "He told me what Sirius said, you know."

I glanced at her, my heartbeat increasing. We had agreed _not_ to tell her. "About?"

"About Sirius thinking James fancies you."

"And we both know that isn't true. He's bonkers for you."

"I know. But I've been trying to figure out if that's the real reason Sirius left."

I paused my pot-cleaning and turned to Lily. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "Perhaps it's a stretch, but I think it's similar to how I chose James over Sev- Severus. I think Sirius always took it for granted that you would choose him over James any day; we all had to push you and James to even get along enough to be in the same room together, and it was that much worse when you showed up at the cottage with James. Think about it: Sirius hasn't seen you in weeks, and then you finally come home and you go to James first. Then you show up with bad news about his family, _and_ his best friend who, let's be honest, was always more successful with girls than Sirius. And that could go one of two ways: he's staying gone because he really thinks you and James fancy each other, or he's staying gone because he was an ass and feels bad for it."

 _Or he's staying gone because he blurted out that he still fancies you, to his girlfriend and his best friend dating you._ I bit back the words I couldn't say and resumed washing the pot.

"Lily, I appreciate that you're trying to help, but I just can't see that being the primary reason he would stay away. He's more likely to come back and punch James in the nose, for betraying not just him but you as well, if that were the case. Moreover, Sirius knows I'm in love with him, and that James is spell-struck by you. Really, Lily; Sirius can't be that daft that he thinks James would even look at anyone else when he has you."

"Perhaps I am that daft."

I whirled around in surprise to see a tall, pale figure in the doorway to the kitchen, his cinder eyes filled with regret.

"Sirius!"

 **xxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** Aaand another update! I hope you all enjoyed and that it was everything you hoped it would be. The next update will be November 21st, CST, at some point in the day. I did a double-update today and will do another on the 21st because we are approaching the one year anniversary of this story's entire creation. Back when it was only an idea.

Also, I understand that there is nothing canonical to say that Sirius ever had a thing for Lily, but that is sorted out as the story goes on. I hope it's not too off-putting.

So! I hope it was enjoyed. A few questions to leave with you:

~How will the current conflict be resolved?

~What will be done about the Death Eaters stalking Sirius?

~Lily is said to have had trouble making friends; will all of this actually effect her friendship with Hazel? And James?

Don't forget to review! Thanks for reading, lovelies!


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

"I'll just be going, then," Lily said, but Sirius held up a hand.

"No, wait. I think I need to talk to you as well."

I felt a sickening twist in my chest. I really didn't want to lose Sirius to Lily. If he was at all insecure with James as a best friend, that still couldn't compare to the repressed envy I'd always felt in the face of beautiful, smart, kind-hearted Lily Evans. She was a brilliant girl, and I wasn't shallow enough to despise her for it, but I still recognized that she was likely everything a guy could want.

But Sirius sighed, leaned on the wall with his hands in his pockets, and said, "I don't know if James told you, but I made a remark before disappearing that he got Hazel 'too'. That was in reference to the fact that in third year, I fancied you, Lily, and made no secret of it. James and I started this quiet competition to see who you would pick, but at the time, you hated us both. I gave up; I didn't fancy you that much, and I expected James to give up, as well. Then you actually gave James a chance, and he fell in love with you so quickly. There was no stopping it. And I was bitter every time he told me about the two of you, and that bitterness grew. Then I found Hazel, and couldn't trust that she would actually stay with me. That's why I was kind of an ass to her at first."

I nearly snorted, but couldn't find any humor in it. Before he could continue, Lily hurried out of the room, and I saw only that her face was red, but couldn't see more of her expression to find out why. Sirius turned to me.

"Hazel, I-"

"You should go to Remus," I said softly. "I don't know how much you heard of mine and Lily's conversation, but it is the full moon and he is your best friend."

"No," Sirius said. "If he's already changed, and by now he has, then he's not going to take well to seeing me. It's not an easy process, getting him calmed enough not to attack on sight."

"And yet Peter's there as a rat. You should go to him."

"Hazel, we need to talk."

"Not tonight, we don't!" I snapped, having lost my patience. "Tonight, my duty is staying here with Lily, keeping her safe and happy until James gets back. You've already compromised that. If you can disappear for a week, you can disappear for a day longer."

"You don't mean that. My disappearing is the last thing you want, I know-"

"What do you know, Sirius?" I huffed, running a hand through my hair. "Do you know that I've been heartbroken all week because you're still upset that you couldn't get your best mate's girl? That you had to settle for stupid Hazel Drummond?"

"You're not stupid-!"

"No, Sirius, I am! I am because I _actually_ thought we had a chance. I thought you'd be happy to see me again. I thought you'd understand that I only wanted you to be safe, that I would never date James Potter, and that I love you! And yet it seems that for the past year just about, you've been finding every way to avoid having to be with me. Yeah, the past few months have been great, but everything before that? Not so much. Between you ignoring me, dating anyone else, denying we'd be together and then getting jealous when you thought I might fancy someone else- nearly kissing me while dating someone else- I can't take it anymore. Then I finally get back, worried sick about you, and you almost immediately disappear for a week. So yes, I feel pretty stupid right now for ever thinking we would work. That you would want this more than you would want to be with someone else, even another Gryffindor."

His jaw dropped at that, and his brow furrowed. He snapped his mouth shut. "Hazel, you really think that has something to do with it?"

I chuckled bitterly. "Why wouldn't it? It has this whole time."

"No, it hasn't! You know I've always seen you as more than a Ravenclaw!"

"Always!? No, I think not. I think if you saw me as a Gryffindor, you would have fancied me a long time ago."

"Because I would have been around you longer if we were in the same house, not because I think badly of you due to what house you were sorted into when we were all eleven!"

I sighed, tired of fighting. "Sirius, I really don't want to argue about this."

"Then let's not." When I looked at him, there was a sad hope in his eyes; but I didn't feel it.

"You should go back to the cottage, or wait in James's room. I think I need to talk to Lily. She's been a good friend to me, you know, and I don't blame her for any of this. If anything, she's also a victim."

Sirius flinched slightly, and nodded, stepping back. I walked past him, but as I moved in front of him, his fingers wrapped lightly around my wrist. I glanced down at them, the long slender fingers that had caressed my face, held my hand, cradled my waist as we danced… The fingers I thought might one day wear a matching wedding band to my own. The fingers I never wanted to see pale and lifeless. I sighed heavily.

"This isn't over, Sirius. We'll talk. Just not tonight."

And with that, I walked upstairs to find Lily. She was in her room, sitting at a vanity table and brushing out her long red hair. Tears glistened in her emerald green eyes when she glanced at me, and she looked quickly away.

"Mind if I come in?" I asked from the doorway.

"If you still want to," she replied, her voice soft, either from crying or plain emotion I couldn't tell. I stepped into the room and closed the door, coming to sit at the end of the bed. Lily stopped brushing her hair and set the brush on the vanity table, and then hung her head so that even in her reflection her face was shielded by hair.

"Lily, I don't blame you."

"I know," she said. "I heard your conversation."

I forced a grin. "Yeah, Sirius and I didn't try very hard to conceal it. Sorry about that."

She shrugged, and my grin fell to a heavy-hearted sigh.

"Lily, I'm sorry you had to find that out. Especially like that. James explained it to me a week ago, and-"

"And you still came over?" She turned around on her stool and looked at me. "If I had found out the man I love cared about his best friend's girlfriend like that, a girl I considered my friend, I wouldn't speak to any of them."

I shrugged. "I don't blame you, Lily. It's not your fault Sirius is an ass."

"And James."

"Are you going to forgive him for it? For competing for you as a game with his friend?"

Lily smiled. "I don't blame him, either. He's always been the type to play games; that's why it took so long to give him an actual chance. By the time I did, it wasn't a game anymore to him; you heard Sirius- James fell for me, as real and true as any love."

"And apparently, so did Sirius."

"I don't think it was that… I was going to say serious, but it doesn't feel appropriate now."

I chuckled a little, remembering all of the times we had used his name as a pun, and then sighed again. "It might not have been, but I still despise the fact he held onto a third-year crush long enough to still be bitter about it while he's dating someone else. That means he's been bitter through all four hundred girls he's dated since then." I pursed my lips. "Okay, not four hundred, but still the point is valid."

Lily shrugged. "As you said, he's an ass. What do you say we watch something on the tele? Euphemia bought one after her muggle cousin explained it to her, and it's quite fascinating."

I chuckled. "I know what a tele is. That sounds fine, but would you like to bake brownies first?"

Lily grinned. "I think that would be perfect!"

And just like that, I had a very good friend again, who was trying as hard to cheer me up as I was to cheer her up. As we headed downstairs to make brownies, I vowed not to ever despise her for being her own kind self. And I could almost ignore the persistent ache in my chest at the thought of what had just gone down in the kitchen with Sirius.

 **X~X**

The Potters' living room is one of few rooms outside of Hogwarts with truly exquisite lighting.

With a lavender couch against one wall, a burgundy sofa on the wall perpendicular to the couch's, a series of dark-wood bookshelves lined with all sorts of books, rich hardwood floors almost as dark as the shelves, an arm-chair across from the burgundy sofa, and a coffee table, three end tables, and a smaller shelf hanging from the wall, it would seem the room would be too cluttered for truly great lighting. But Euphemia Potter had a gift for home-making, and it had never really occurred to me before sitting in her living room how important lighting is. A lamp on the end table at the end of the couch, a lamp next to the burgundy sofa, a small lantern next to the dark green armchair, and a series of tea-light candles strewn about the room all gave off the perfect golden glow, which radiated throughout the room with warmth and gentle light, leaving no truly dark shadows and allowing the eyes to be at ease while still able to take in every detail.

I sat on their couch in a pair of cozy gray sleep pants and a pink camisole, both of which I had borrowed from Lily, and my hair pulled into a loose side-braid falling to my left. Having finished _Pride & Prejudice, _I was now reading _Sense & Sensibility; _Jane Austen had become a favorite muggle writer, if a little wist-inducing. It was just as the story was growing interesting that I heard a series of scratches against the back-door, across the dining room and through the kitchen.

I held the book steady and glanced off to the right, listening. The scratches came again, accompanied by a plaintive whine. A plaintive _dog_ whine.

Of course I had regretted telling Sirius to disappear earlier; the last thing I wanted was him out on his own in times like these. I was terrified of losing him, which was most of the cause of my reaction earlier. Nonetheless, I was still pissed at him- even if I didn't want to be. I wanted things back to normal; I wanted Sirius to want me as much as I wanted him, and for the two of us to co-exist with all the ease I shared with Remus Lupin but also with all the romance I had only truly known from Sirius. No one else had offered that sort of love, and no one else could.

So at the next, and more emphatic, whine, I sighed and stood. Beetle-brained fleabag. I reached the back-door and opened it. There on the stoop, amid Euphemia and Fleamont Potters' well-groomed backyard with the perfectly trimmed trees and frequently mowed grass, was a shaggy black-haired dog with the most pathetic brown eyes I had ever looked into. He let out another whine, his tufted, wolf-like ears going flat against his head as he stared up at me. He pawed at the door-frame, still whining.

Suppressing a groan, I finally stepped aside. "Come in."

The rotten animagus trotted across the kitchen, trekking mud and dirt, and went into the living room. After closing the backdoor, I peeked around the corner to see him laying on the couch, gnawing his own paw. A trail of dirt followed him all the way in there. I glared at him and he gave me another pathetic look.

Rolling my eyes, I strolled off and grabbed the broom, sweeping up behind Sirius and then tossing the dirt into the waste-bin. Once it was cleaned up, I returned to the couch and sat down at the very end, away from Sirius, and grabbed my book. I began reading again, just to get barely a sentence in before Sirius began to inch his way closer. I glared at him and he froze, still pathetic as ever, and then crawled forward a little more, and a little more, and a little more.

Once he'd set his head in my lap and whined again, I rolled my eyes and began petting the great pathetic beast. "Maybe I just get along with you better in dog-form."

My response was a big sloppy lick on the cheek.

"Maybe not that much."

 **xxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** An early update in honor of - - -

My birthday!

I'm like unreasonably excited about it. Finally eighteen, which, in America, means one thing: _freedom._ So, I decided to honor the occasion, I'll update _twice_ today- once now and once in about twelve hours. Enjoy!


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

The next morning dawned gray and foggy, the mist blanketing the outside streets so thickly I was sure Sirius was somehow to blame for it.

I was being irrational, but I didn't quite care. He had stayed a dog until I'd fallen asleep, and now, sitting at the Potters' table with a cup of steaming tea and having seen him asleep in James's bed, I was dulled from being angry so long. Looking out the window at the mist in the backyard, I couldn't help but compare it to the shroud of anger that had been clouding my judgment every time I'd spoken to him; I missed Sirius immensely, and I missed how things had been before I'd come back. Part of me regretted the way I'd rushed out; I should have stayed with Frank and the others, and I should have done my duty to protect them before coming back to tell Sirius. It didn't help anything regardless, and I could have come out with more experience under my belt now rather than simply run away half-done. But that was what I did, wasn't it? Run away when things got too tough?

"Hazel?"

I turned to see him standing in the archway from the dining room to the living room. Sirius's dark hair was a mess and his gray eyes were filled to the brim with desperation. And, naturally, he was as shirtless as that morning oh-so-long-ago when he had held me in the kitchen not five feet away as I shook and sobbed. We seemed so far apart now.

He glanced at his feet and back at me, every inch apprehension. "M-mind if I- if I sit with you?"

"You don't have to ask," I said instantly, and then bit my tongue with regret, turning back to my steaming tea.

"Yes, I do," he said somberly, before padding over barefoot and taking a seat next to me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye; his hair hung around his face, and he slouched forward, his forearms resting on the table. I hated to see him like this, but at this point I really didn't know how to fix it. I wanted to speak, but… I didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry."

The words fell from his lips like pebbles dropped over the edge of a waterfall. They vanished quickly, meaningless in the torrent. I took a small sip of tea. "For what?"

"You know what for."

"Maybe so, but I need to hear your take on it."

"You heard it last night-"

"I need to hear it again. I'm much more level-headed now, and I've had time to think."

He hesitated, and then spoke softly, "You… Haven't d-decided anything, h-have you?"

 _He's stuttering. He's never stuttered like that._ "No, Sirius, I haven't."

He sighed heavily. "I-I-I'm sorry f-for… For everything over the past few weeks." He paused here, and then spoke in short bursts. "I should've written you more. I- I should've listened to you. I shouldn't have run away, and, oh, _God,_ I shouldn't have said that before I did. I haven't felt anything for Lily since third year and I had no reason to be so bitter about it-" Now the words tumbled out of him like they'd been held in too long. "And now my best mate thinks I want his girl while my girl thinks I want his girl and really, Hazel, I just want _you._ Really and truly. I've confessed my love to you so many times, in so many ways, and- and I've been a right and true idiot. You deserve a million times better, so please, _please,_ just let me be better. Let me better for you. I love you, a million times over, I love you. Please give me another chance. If you want, I'll never even look at Lily Evans again, if that'll make you more comfortable- James will probably punch me and never speak to me again anyway, and- and with him and Remus probably hating me forever, I need you more than ever, and… Oh, Hazel, I am so sorry." He hung his head again, putting his hand over his face. "I'm a right and true fool, and if you leave me, I will never blame you for it. This is all my fault."

I waited, wondering if he'd say more, but all else that came from him was sighs. Despite every ounce of dignity and pride in me saying not to go back to someone who would say and do even half the things he had, I reached forward and took his hand. Sirius was everything to me, whether he was everything we both felt he should be or not. And after all that we'd been through together it would be a right sin for me not to give him another chance.

"I love you, too."

He looked up in shocked amazement, his jaw hanging down. "You mean that?"

"I wouldn't say it otherwise."

This made sitting an awkward thing, because I wanted to hug him right then, but he was sitting and so was I. As our eyes met, he stood and lifted me from my seat anyway, and pulled me into his arms and then into a deep kiss. Afterward, he trailed a hand down my cheek.

"I've missed you," he breathed, staring so deeply into my eyes that I thought he could see my soul right then.

"Then come back," I demanded. "I wasn't quite finished with you yet."

And that was how I ended up snogging Sirius Black in James Potter's dining room.

 **X~X**

"Sirius! You came back!"

Remus embraced his best friend, and I watched from the kitchen window as I pressed pie shell dough into a container for Euphemia. With the window open, I could hear their conversation except when the wind blew, and I pretended I wasn't watching.

Sirius and Remus's hug ended, and Sirius turned with expectancy to James. He took a deep breath. "James, if you're going to punch me, you have every right to."

"I know," James said, and did what we had all, except maybe Remus, wanted to do in the past week:

He punched my boyfriend in the face.

Remus burst out laughing as Sirius fell on his butt in the grass, and James did too, offering a hand.

"Sorry, mate, but I've been needing to do that for about a week now," James said, and Sirius took James's hand and was soon standing.

"Perfectly understandable," Sirius said, rubbing his cheekbone where a dark red mark was quickly turning purple.

"Have you apologized to Lily yet?"

"This morning, just after Hazel finally forgave me."

"You're right lucky she did." They started walking back in. "I wouldn't have."

"Neither would I," Sirius replied. "Moony, you alright?"

Remus nodded. "Just tired is all. Think I'll just head back to the cottage."

"Alone?"

"Kind of need to be alone right now."

"Take my room," James offered. "Not a good time to _be_ alone. When Sirius and Hazel head back, we'll wake you up."

"No pranks, no jokes, no games," Remus instructed as they walked in the backdoor into the kitchen. James grinned.

"Would we ever do any of that to you, dear Remus?"

"Yes, and you have, many times."

"Not around the full moon."

"No, I'll give you that much. Goodnight, then."

Remus nodded at me, and I waved, my hands covered in flour. James walked over and clapped me on the back, saying, "You forgave our poor village fool, then?"

"You should see his puppy eyes," I replied. "It's absolutely pathetic."

"Oh, you love me," Sirius said, grinning.

"You're quite lucky I do," I reminded him, finishing the pie crust. I turned to James. "Does your mother put in the pie filling as the crust cooks or afterward?"

"How should I know?" He shrugged. "I'm not a woman."

I rolled my eyes. "It's your _father's_ recipe, you sexist pig."

He grabbed an apple, taking a bite. "Lily loves me anyway!"

I glanced over my shoulder as he disappeared into the living room and called, "Lily will convince you to cook, then! It's only fair!"

"She likes cooking!"

"Not the point!"

Sirius chuckled and walked over to me, snaking his arms around my waist and holding me from behind as I rinsed the flour off of my hands in the sink. He kissed the back of my neck. "I'll cook for you."

"You owe me about forty breakfasts in bed for this past week."

"Then I'll bring you breakfast in bed for the next forty days, if I can."

"'If'?"

"Our lives aren't exactly stable. It's only a matter of time before the next trouble stirs up."

I sighed, drying my hands. "You're not wrong."

 **xxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** Lovely readers, you are all wonderful. Thank you for the kind reviews and happy birthday wishes; it's been a wonderful day. Still jealous of Hazel's birthday in Hogwarts, but that's kind of impossible as I, sadly, am a muggle.

Anyhow. Our Sour Patch Kid love interests have returned to the sweetness (for now). I hope this makes up for how dramatic and terrible at communication they've been.  
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review! Now I'm going to go bake a cake!~


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Twelve**

Dark storm-clouds rolled in that night, knocking out the electricity in the whole town. Thunder shook the walls and lightning flashed every few minutes. Sirius and I sat by candlelight and oil lanterns in the living room of our cottage; Remus was asleep farther in. I looked up at Sirius, who was attempting to read the Daily Prophet by candlelight without catching it on fire (again).

"Mind if I go check on Cassi? I've yet to see her."

He glanced up at my question and immediately back to his paper. "Go ahead; I don't mind."

"Alright." I kissed his forehead. "I'll only be an hour tops. I love you."

"Love you too."

With that, I apparated, cringing at the horrible suffocating feeling of it. I appeared in the street outside my mother's apartment and started up the stairs. It was storming here as well, and in seconds I was nearly drenched. As I reached the top landing, the door opened.

"Thought I heard someone apparate!" Cassi greeted me, pulling me into a hug. "You've just missed Amos. He left an hour ago to spend the weekend with his mother and father."

I hugged her back and then stepped inside, taking off my coat. "He didn't take you with?"

"No; they're, well-" her voice took on an excited pitch, "They're going to move things into our new house! Amos's mother decorated their home, and I _love_ it, so I'm trusting her with the arrangements. I'll add the finishing touches once I get there, but for now I'm staying here with your mum."

I closed and locked the door, and then beamed at her. She was _pregnant,_ immensely so, but had such a glow about her that I couldn't help being happy for her. "That's brilliant! Oh, have you and Amos set the date yet?"

"Yes, we have. I'm due in two months, you know, so we'll be getting married August 1st. That way if little Emma Lynn comes early, I'll be prepared."

I smiled warmly at her and we moved to sit on the couch. "Is it a she, then?"

She placed a hand over her stomach. "Well, we don't actually know yet, but I've got a feeling. Amos is just _determined_ it'll be a boy, but I think that's only because he likes the name Cedric so much and there's just no female equivalent."

I thought about it for a moment. "I like both names, though I must admit Cedric Diggory has a better ring to it than Emma Diggory."

"Well, we would call her by her first and middle name, so she would be known as Emma _Lynn_ Diggory."

"That does sound better. What house do you think she or he would be in?"

"Ravenclaw." Cassi grinned. "I don't know. It could be any; you know my parents were both Gryffindors and I ended up in Ravenclaw. Even Lyra's a Gryffindor."

"How does she feel about all this?"

Cassi shrugged. "She's happy for me, but she told me when she found out that she might not be around much, because we bicker enough without added hormones from pregnancy."

I chuckled. "What a great sister. Oh! Where's my mum?"

"She's out at the store."

"Oh, alright. Do you think she'll be back soon?"

"Yes; she left over an hour ago." Cassi glanced at the clock, and then smiled at me. "It's so strange living here. I visited enough, but without the chaos of another sister and two parents- oh. That sounds bad, doesn't it?"

I shrugged. "No; I understand. I remember how quiet it always seemed coming back here after visiting you."

"Tell me about life in Godrick's Hollow," she requested. "You wrote me saying you came back early, but never said why."

"It's been hectic."

I recounted the past week to her, leaving out the parts about Remus being a werewolf and instead simply saying Sirius had promised him to spend more time with him. Cassi laughed and rolled her eyes at the ridiculous relationship drama that had plagued Sirius and I since we started, and she listened with worry as I told her of Regulus's message.

"Stay safe," I said, as I finished catching her up on everything. "I worry about you, and Mum."

"Not nearly as much as we worry about you. Your mum's a muggle but even she can tell something bad is happening. So, when does the Order start meeting?"

"The day after tomorrow will be our first meeting. I can't tell you where or who all will be there. It's all very secretive."

"I can only imagine. Part of a secret order- now that's not something I would have pegged as part of your future back when we first met."

I chuckled. "Back in first year, I remember. On the train."

"We were both so young then. Did you ever think we'd go through anything like this?"

I shook my head. "We weren't in wartime then, remember? Now we are."

Cassi rubbed her swollen belly absently. "I know. I worry endlessly; this isn't the word I want to raise a child in."

I took her hand. "It'll all work out, Cassi. You'll see."

And I wished more than anything that that was true.

 **X~X**

Flames whisked around me, lighting the room, but I was paralyzed. I lay on my back, fear crowding my mind, and realized I was in bed. Sirius was next to me, sleeping in complete ignorance of the danger we were in. The flames were drawing closer- I could hear other screams in the house.

"Sirius!" My voice only came out as a whispered scream.

The screams in the background echoed louder; glass broke somewhere; images of snow flickered across my mind and vanished again- a cackle broke through the air- fire over glass- snow- _flames-_

" _SIRIUS!"_

It was a scream that time, and suddenly there were hands on my shoulders, shaking me.

My eyes flew open and I saw Sirius leaning over me in the dark, whispering fervently, "Hazel! Hazel, wake up!"

"Sirius!" I gasped, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in my chest.

"Shh, love, calm down," he whispered, moving so he was laying down and pulling me to him. I clung to him desperately, feeling tears fall down my cheeks. Sirius rubbed my back gently. "What happened?"

Before I could reply, the bedroom door opened and Remus stumbled in, turning on the light. I blinked against it and looked over at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately.

"Nightmare," Sirius explained. "It's alright; I've got her."

"Oh. Sorry, I just- I heard her scream."

Sirius nodded. "That's fine."

Remus nodded back and stepped out, turning off the light again and closing the door behind him. I clung to Sirius even tighter, and he kissed the top of my head.

"It's alright, love; I've got you."

"It- it was what happened on the train, but it was _here._ The fire, the screams- her laugh- oh, Sirius, it was awful."

He squeezed me to him and kissed my forehead once more. "Shh, love; it was only a dream."

"But Sirius, it happened-"

"Months ago. You're safe now."

"All those people died-"

"And you're safe now. They'll catch her one day, and all those people will be given the justice they deserve."

Still crying, I laid against him. The possibility of Bellatrix Lestrange showing up here was one of my darkest nightmares; she could easily take Sirius, and just kill me and Remus. Sirius would never go, and he would die, too-

I could feel my thoughts circling and the panic was setting in. I bolted out of Sirius's arms. "I need to go outside. Now."

"I'll come with you."

Just like that, we headed outside, and I could feel the panic growing. I stepped out the front door and sat quickly on the damp wooden steps of our porch, holding the back of my neck with clasped fingers and taking long, deep breaths. Sirius came out and rubbed my back, gently creating small circles. I took a deep breath.

"Am I ever going to be okay, Sirius? This war is only getting worse. Cassi's raising a _child_ in this disaster, and I haven't stopped having nightmares in seven months."

"You're stronger than you're giving yourself credit for. Think of it like quidditch- we're both beaters, so you'll get this. You take hits from the bludger so that no one else has to; they're flying all over the field, and everyone is in danger, but you keep them all safe because you know you can recover from the hard hits. You're strong, and people need you, so you make yourself even stronger for them, too. You can get through this, even if it hurts like hell right now."

I met his eyes. "How do you always know just what to say?"

He chuckled. "I think the past week proves that I really don't."

I grinned. "Maybe so, but in moments like this, you're always just so… So perfect." My grin fell. "I don't ever want to lose you."

"Then you won't."

But the words were only words, and I caught his lips in mine, kissing him with all the fear I'd been holding. _Please, let this last…_


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

I stole one last glance in the mirror. The bun I had my hair wrapped in was still perfect. My pale blue button-down was still free of wrinkles and tucked perfectly into my high-waisted jeans. I looked fine, and vaguely professional. I picked up my black cardigan once more and pulled it on, and then took it off, and then put it back on.

"Stop worrying so much," Sirius said, adjusting the cardigan around my shoulders. I glanced over at him.

"It's our first _official_ meeting with the Order. We've happened to be there when a few members gathered and spoke, but we haven't met everyone yet. We've been caught in this weird limbo of not quite being with the Order but doing small tasks and trying to meet the members for months now, and- and Dumbledore's finally letting us in. I just don't want to mess this up."

"Then you won't," Sirius assured me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Look in that mirror. What do you see?"

I met my reflection's wide, hazel brown eyes. "Panic."

Sirius chuckled. "I see a strong young woman who has led and participated in multiple different teams of different people coming together for different purposes, who is about to attend the beginning of the biggest thing she's ever done. I see a young woman who has overcome adversity after adversity, and come through stronger every time."

"You sound like my mother."

"You're also very sexy."

"That's more like it." I turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I just… I can't stop worrying. I know Marlene is nice, and that you and James and Remus and Lily will all be there, but I'm terrified, Sirius. They're bound to be all be more experienced than us, and better fighters, and we still don't know how many there are-"

"They're our allies, not our enemies. Besides, we aren't there to make friends; we're there because we're all united against Voldemort. Don't forget that."

I sighed, and he kissed my forehead.

"Come on, Hazel. Let's go find Remus and get going."

 **X~X**

My first official Order of the Phoenix meeting was in Marlene McKinnon's house. The woman, twenty-eight and strong-willed, had an exquisite home that she shared with her twenty-four year old sister Abilene, and had opened it to the Order due to its rural location in the West Country. It was a fine home, once the property of their parents, passed on at the death of their father and then their mother's mind. The older Mrs. McKinnon now resided in a nursing home in London, where her talk of magic and witchery would be passed off as the delusions of an old woman.

"So this is the McKinnons'," Sirius commented as we entered the foyer. I could hear boisterous arguments coming from the back of the house, and nodded in that direction.

"Apparently. Seems like the right place- oh, Merlin, is that James?"

From the back of the house, there suddenly came flashes of light, accompanied by James's familiar voice casting spells. Sirius sighed and patted my back. "Well, I suppose it's our duty to go find out."

We strode back through the house into the large, house-length room there. At one end was a large oaken table lined with chairs; on the other side were a collection of couches around a coffee table, bookshelves against the walls just behind. James had just been 'stupefy'ed, landing on his backside against the coffee table. Chuckling, he reached back and rubbed his neck, and I followed his gaze to the witch who had done it. She had short black hair in a side-parting, porcelain skin with fawn freckles scattered across her cheeks, and large, bright eyes so dark brown they were nearly black. Her small pink lips shifted up in a smile, and her arm dropped back to the side of her petite body.

"My apologies for ever doubting you," James said, rising to his feet. "That was the best bloody duel I've ever partaken in! Who are you, again?"

"As of this past weekend, Alice Longbottom," she answered, giving a half-bow.

"James Potter," he introduced himself, and then spotted Sirius and I standing confused in the doorway. "And these are my two friends, who are _late."_

Sirius glanced at a clock hanging on the wall. "The meeting starts at 5, and it's still a quarter till."

"If you read the letter, you'd know they said earlier is better."

Sirius shrugged. "Oh, well. We're late, then."

"Don't listen to that twit, you two are fine," Marlene said, walking into the room with a plate of pastries and setting them on the large table. "Come choose your places. And once again, Potter, Alice- _no dueling in my house!"_

"Sorry, Marlene," Alice said, a meek grin on her lips as she came and sat down. Sirius and I sat in the middle of one side and Marlene took the seat next to the head of the table, where I spotted Dumbledore. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him; just seeing Dumbledore nearby made the room feel infinitely safer. Plenty of wards and charms had been placed around the perimeter of the property, but none of that made this place feel as Dumbledore's presence at the table head. Next to him, across from Marlene, was a man who looked strikingly like him, with slightly less gray in his hair and beard.

"Who is that?" I asked Remus quietly, as he sat down next to me. By now, James and Lily had taken a seat on Sirius's other side, Frank and Alice Longbottom sat across from Sirius and I, and Abilene had come to sit next to Marlene. Both sisters were remarkably similar in appearance; they both had a dark tawny complexion, long silky black hair, and long maple-golden eyes. They were beautiful sisters, their primary differences in appearance being that Marlene had darker clothing and more angular features, while Abilene had a soft, round face and dressed in pastels.

"Aberforth," Remus said, reminding me of my earlier question. "He's Dumbledore's younger brother."

"How do you know?" I asked; though the family resemblance was obvious- the same blue eyes, streaks of auburn in the hair, robust beards- there was no way to tell the exact relation just by looking.

"Just because the others played around while you were away doesn't mean we all did," Remus answered. "I visited Dumbledore and Marlene frequently to learn more about the other members."

"Useful."

He shrugged. "James and Sirius were more focused on the Death Eaters hanging around, so I suppose they were being useful in their own right."

"And how many games of Exploding Snap, Wizard Chess, and quidditch-related activities were played?"

"Innumerable," Remus answered, grinning.

We went around the room as I asked Remus for everyone's names. Some were easier to remember than others, and I had forgotten half again by the time the meeting started.

"Attention!" Dumbledore called, standing. Silence fell over the room; it was very likely we were all his former students, and more than accustomed to falling quiet under his orders. "Some of you are new here. Others have been in this Order since its formation. Our newcomers are Frank Longbottom, Alice's husband," he gestured as he spoke, "Hazel Drummond, Sirius Black, James Potter, and Lily Evans."

I glanced at Remus. No introduction? Then again, he already knew everyone; I guess he doesn't need one.

"I believe they have some news," Dumbledore continued. "Lily, if you will."

He took a seat, and the redhead rose, her face beginning to match her hair. She cleared her throat. "There have been Death Eaters around Godrick's Hollow for several weeks now. Lupin and I saw them in glimpses, and then Drummond returned from the auror training program to tell us she'd received confirmation that they were there. They're after Sirius Black; they plan to recruit him, due to familial relations."

"How do we know he isn't one of them, then?" asked a sallow, middle-aged man whose name I had forgotten.

"If he was, they wouldn't be so persistent," Lily replied easily, and I rested a hand on Sirius's forearm under the table; he was bristling at the accusation. Lily continued, "They have been quieter lately, but it's only a matter of time before an attack happens."

"Do you know _who_ is in Godrick's Hollow?" Dumbledore asked.

"Not for sure, but we know Bellatrix Lestrange is present there," Lily answered. "It can be presumed, then, that her husband is there as well, and possibly her brother-in-law."

"Who would that be?" Marlene inquired.

"Lucius Malfoy."

"Do we have confirmation he's a Death Eater? He was rotten through at Hogwarts, but so were many others who aren't His followers."

"He's been spotted among them, and we've heard word that most of Sirius's family have alleged themselves to Voldemort by now. Malfoy, as Sirius's cousin's husband, would be part of that family."

"Dare I ask where this information came from?" asked the sallow man.

"A family member of his approached Drummond in London. He doesn't wish his name given away, because then he could be killed for informing her."

"Thank you, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said, and Lily nodded and sat down, her cheeks scarlet at this point. Dumbledore rose to his feet once more. "I have some assignments to give out, at our first meeting with all of us here. You will be assigned to teams with those I think you work best with."

He withdrew a stack of papers from a deep pocket in his robes.

"These papers hold what you'll be doing and who with. I will pass them along now; read yours only, and pass it to the other names on the paper."

Papers were passed out, Dumbledore calling names as he delved them out, and I couldn't help feeling almost like I was back at Hogwarts. A paper was passed along and reached me, and I read it quickly.

 _ALASTOR MOODY (LEADER)_

 _FRANK LONGBOTTOM_

 _ALICE LONGBOTTOM_

 _HAZEL DRUMMOND_

 _LILY EVANS_

 _START DATE: 12 JULY 1977_

 _Your task is to scout the Death Eater activity in Oxford. A troupe of Death Eaters has been spotted in the area and reports of unexplained muggle deaths have made the news there. For the next month, you are to scout the area and capture as many Death Eaters as possible. The next Order meeting will be August 21st; Alastor knows the location._

I passed the paper down to Lily, and turned to Sirius. He met my eyes with a glimmer of fear in his own, and I couldn't tell if it was fear for me or himself.

"He put us three marauders together," Sirius said quietly. "With the Prewett brothers. Gideon is in charge of us; we'll be scouting the woods around Godrick's Hollow for my cousin."

"That's a terrible assignment for you!" I gasped, keeping my voice low.

"Not necessarily. The Prewetts are powerful wizards, and they'll keep James and I rational, I think. Who's in your group?"

"Moody," I replied, eyeing the scarred auror at the end of the table, opposite from Dumbledore. "And the Longbottoms and Lily. We'll be in Oxford, trying to stop the unexplained muggle deaths there, which are possibly caused by Death Eaters."

"Didn't you see Professor Harley there?"

"I did, but I don't want that getting out."

Sirius eyed me closely. "Hazel, that's your job. You're supposed to be catching him. If it's the imperius curse or even just a bad decision, Dumbledore can get him on our side, but you have to catch him first."

I sighed. "I know. We'll talk about that tonight, alright? My mission doesn't start for two more days."

"Ours begins tomorrow morning," Sirius replied. "Ah, James is going to talk to the Prewetts; I suppose I should go with."

Sirius and Remus departed from either side of me, and Lily scooted over to where Sirius had been sitting. She smiled warmly at the Longbottoms.

"Ready for a month together?" She asked, and Alice grinned eagerly.

"Definitely! Hunting Death Eaters close to home sounds wonderful."

Lily smiled graciously, and I remembered with unexpected grief that she had lost both of her parents- her home was gone. No, that wasn't quite it; my eyes fell on James at the end of the table. _He_ was her home now. That's comforting, at least.

"Hazel, you're from Oxford as well, aren't you?" Frank asked, and I nodded.

"Yes, my mother and my best friend both live there. Dumbledore knows I've spotted Death Eaters on my visits there; have you two?"

"They might be somewhat our fault," Alice said, chuckling. "There's a neighborhood full of muggles, and we're the only wizarding family in it. Since we arrived, all of our muggle neighbors have told us of dark figures lurking in the shadows and we've had quite a few unexplained deaths." She grew serious. "I think it's meant to be a warning, but Frank and I simply went to Dumbledore about it. So, if you only visit Oxford, where are you living now?"

This moved the conversation to a whole new path as I explained my living situation, and Lily explained hers. By the time we were back to Frank and Alice telling us about the small two-bedroom house they shared, the meeting had come to a close. Marlene stood at the end of the table where Dumbledore had been; the headmaster was now across the room eating crepes from a tray she had set out.

"Everyone!" She called, her voice coming out strong. We all paused our conversations and looked up, though a few men in the corner finished their closing statements before giving her their attention. She smiled at all of us. "I think this has been a very productive meeting. Now you all know where I live; this house is a safehouse as long as it stands. I keep wards up at all times, but if you appear at the perimeter I'll bring you in. Now as much as I'd love to keep you all, I've cleaning to do and preparations for my own task, which begins at midnight. So please wrap up your conversations before the hour turns; it's a quarter till. Thank you."

She finished and walked off, and conversation gradually resumed. Lily and I made our way to Remus, James, and Sirius, and waited as they wrapped up their conversation with Gideon Prewett, whose brother was already busy talking to the gaggle of chatty men in the corner. Gideon nodded at me and Lily as we approached, and hastily ended the conversation and left to find his brother, saying his goodbyes to the Marauders.

James wrapped an arm around Lily and, without hesitation, apparated. Sirius and Remus turned to me.

"Ready, love?" Sirius asked, and I nodded, taking both boys' forearm in my grasp and apparating.

When we appeared in our living room, I reflected on how good it was to be home- and how little time it seemed I would be spending there.

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **A/N:** It's been a whoooole year since the first chapter of the first book, yay! TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

The stars gleamed overhead and I sat on the damp front porch steps watching the clouds skid by overhead, pale shadows of cloud transparent in the moonlight, the echoes of the storm from earlier in the afternoon. I would be going home again tomorrow; I would be back around my family. I vowed then not to bother them or even let them know I would be staying in town, as that would only put them in extra danger.

The door to the cottage opened and Sirius came out, taking a seat next to me and wrapping a snug arm around my side. "Can't sleep?"

I shook my head, not taking my eyes from the stars. "Not a wink. Can't seem to keep my eyes closed."

"Tried reading?"

"Tried. Couldn't focus. Too much going on."

"You know this is our last night for a month that we'll get to spend together?"

I looked at him then, but couldn't read his expression. "What are you suggesting?"

"Nothing. Just sleep. But on that note, what are your thoughts on that? We've been together for five months now, and loved each other even longer, but I'll move at your pace."

I sighed, looking away. This was a topic I knew would come up; you can't just be seventeen and attracted to each other _without_ talking about this, but I didn't quite know how to word my thoughts. "While I gather my thoughts on that, what are yours? I mean, do you have experience in this, or..?"

He chuckled. "No, actually; I have none. Never cared enough about a girl, and always thought I should care more before becoming her first anything, or letting her become mine."

"That's reassuring. But with me, how do you feel?"

"That I'd let you be my first everything you can be, if you wanted."

I felt my cheeks redden and images popped into mind that I fought to quash. There was a reason I had avoided the topic, and now I knew how to word it. "Sirius, let me start by saying I _want_ to do all of those things-"

"But?"

" _But,_ it's not really the best time. Look at Cassi; she was careful, and now she's pregnant. Her marriage is already falling to pieces because they're trying to patch it together amid a war. I just don't want to start out that way."

"I don't mean to sound insensitive, but not everything in that category leads to pregnancy."

"I know that, but there's always a risk of things going too far."

"So you don't want them to go anywhere?"

"Not yet, Sirius. If that's not okay with you, I understand, but I can't change my viewpoint on that."

He was quiet for a long moment, and I could only imagine him facing the same arguments I had faced when trying to form a standpoint on the issue. We could die any day, and dying before knowing that kind of intimacy with someone would be even more of a tragedy (for us, at least). On the other hand, the thought of trying to raise a child and start a marriage in the midst of war seemed even more dangerous, because there's such a huge connotative difference between girlfriend and wife, and because having a child is one more life to protect, and one so much more vulnerable.

Long, slender, pale fingers interlocked with mine, clasping my hand. I looked up, surprised to see a small smile on Sirius's beautiful face. There on the porch, the moonlight danced silver over his bold cheekbones, into the valleys beneath and across the round slopes of cheek rising with his smile. The silver beams flashed in the cinder depths of his eyes and flickered against white veins of color like spiderwebs against the gray of his irises. His black hair was blackened further by the night, but shone and danced with the cool night breeze fluttering through. He was the single most beautiful person I had ever met, and for a moment I found myself shocked that such a person would hold _my_ hand, would give _me_ that look, would be here with _me._

"After the war, then," Sirius said, pressing his lips to my knuckles. "I understand, Hazel. I was raised in a horrible environment, and I can only imagine what a wartime family would be like, especially with the two of us as parents. Neither of us have ever been the type to sit out of a fight; Cassi and Amos don't have that problem, but we would, and that would be only one more problem to face. So I understand, and I won't pressure you into anything. If you change your mind, we'll talk, but as of right now, I stand by your viewpoint completely."

"Thank you," I said, relief brimming in my tone. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he pulled me closer.

I looked up and found the small red-tinged silver spark, not the brightest but the most meaningful against its black background: _Sirius._

 **X~X**

"Pancakes!"

The word woke me and I groggily opened my eyes. The bed was empty, and I sat up, hearing someone in the kitchen and someone in the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes, more quickly awake than usual, and rose from bed. I grabbed Sirius's crimson bathrobe from the hook and tied it around myself; Remus didn't need to see my pajama shorts and tank top. Plus Sirius's robe was the comfiest, coziest robe I had ever worn.

I stepped out into the hall and saw Sirius in the bathroom, holding his hair pinned at the back of his neck as he brushed his teeth. It was actually a good look for him. I smiled appraisingly, and then headed down the hall to the kitchen. Remus had set two plates, with large, fluffy pancakes drizzled in syrup and adequately decorated with butter, on the small round table, and was placing the last pancakes on a third plate that already held one.

"Breakfast on the table," Remus said, pointing over his shoulder. I made my way over and sat down as he added, "What would you like to drink?"

"Shouldn't I be cooking?" I asked, yawning. "It's you and Sirius starting your mission today, not me."

Remus shrugged, back muscles showing under his t-shirt that hadn't been there a month prior to. _When did Remus get muscular? What the hell?_ "I wanted to enjoy my kitchen one more time before leaving it for a month. Don't worry; I'm letting you clean."

"Oh, thanks. But couldn't you and Sirius still stay here?"

"We could, but it would make our location pretty obvious."

"That's true."

"What did you say you wanted to drink?"

"Oh, orange juice."

He opened the fridge and grabbed a tub of butter and a carton of orange juice, setting both on the counter. After pouring the orange juice into a glass and handing the glass to me, he returned to put butter on his pancakes. I drank half the cup of orange juice, and as I set it back down Sirius reappeared, in the hallway this time. He had changed out his sleep pants for a pair of jeans and kept his semi-tight black shirt on, and he took a seat next to me.

"Thanks, Remus!" He called loudly to his friend, who was a whole two meters away.

"You're welcome," Remus replied quietly, as if to show how easy it was to be heard. I chuckled and Remus made his way over to set down his plate, and then took Sirius's drink order and fixed both their drinks, and then came to sit down. I started eating my pancakes, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at me.

"You stole my robe again?"

I pulled it tighter around me. "It's warm and soft and cozy."

"I've been naked in it."

"That, too."

He chuckled, and I saw Remus fake-gag before saying, "Not before breakfast, please?"

"Sorry, Remus," Sirius and I said simultaneously.

"It's fine," the tired boy sighed.

"So! Excited for our _first_ official Order of the Phoenix mission?" Sirius asked, and Remus sighed again.

"I'd be more excited if you didn't shout it to the world. We have no idea who might be in the yard."

"Hazel's next boyfriend. He's coming in after we leave."

I was so enraptured by my beautiful, delicious, fluffy golden pancakes that my reaction was delayed. By the time I gave Sirius a perfect _what-the-hell_ look, Remus was saying, "Ah, and who is this one?"

"Well, I thought it was Amos- you remember how mad she got at me before for suggesting that, so it was only logical- but he's actually committed to Miss Cassiopeia Dale now. That said, there's still a small chance, but it doesn't seem as likely. I thought maybe Xenophilius Lovegood, but as he got married last month, not him, either."

"He _what!?"_ I exclaimed, and Sirius nodded.

"Oh, yes, he married your friend Pandora a month ago."

" _What!?"_

Sirius grinned. "You didn't know?"

"Obviously not. How come you knew and I didn't?"

"It was in the Daily Prophet," Remus answered for Sirius. "Even I saw it. Apparently, they eloped, but still want a newspaper announcement."

I sat back in my seat. "The eloped part is somewhat more reassuring. At least then there's a reason I didn't know."

Remus shrugged. "She still could've written you."

I shook my head. "Pandora's always been horrible about that. Love her to death, but she's simply not very good at writing."

"That's not very kind."

"I don't mean grammatically or anything, I just mean writing continuously. Communicating by letter. She doesn't keep in touch. Oh, you two know what I mean."

The mischievous looks both Marauders were giving me, glinting dark blue and cinder eyes, explained perfectly to me how Remus had become a Marauder.

"If you say so, Hazel," Remus said, "But I think your insults may be why she didn't invite you."

"That or your constant fraternization with Gryffindors," Sirius added. "You can't just abandon your house like that."

I glared at him. "And what of your fraternization with Ravenclaws?"

"As you see, my household is 66% Gryffindor, and only 33% Ravenclaw, which puts me in the non-excessive-fraternizing category."

"Sirius Black, you are positively the most illogical and utterly ridiculous person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Also, as soon as you leave, my Ravenclaw boyfriend will be strolling through the door."

"I _knew_ it! Oh, it's that complete arse of a quidditch captain you had, isn't it?"

"That's the very one."

"So that's why I never liked him."

"Probably."

"Do you mind if I visit back here with my Gryffindor girlfriend while you're gone? If you get one more day with your Ravenclaw boyfriend, I think my girlfriend and I should have some time together."

I glared at him again. " _I'm_ your only girlfriend. No Gryffindor girlfriend for you."

"How about a Ravenclaw girlfriend?"

"Only if it's me."

Sirius chuckled, stole a bite of my pancake, and, mouth full of the delicious golden goodness I now hated him for eating, said, "Of course, love. Gryffindor girls wouldn't let me steal their food."

"Neither would Ravenclaw girls! I am going to stab you with my fork!"

"Kinky."

"Ugh!"

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **A/N:** The whether-or-not-they'd-do-anything-sexual conflict has been bugging me a lot for months now, and I think I finally came to a conclusion. Because, you know, Cassi's pregnant and that's an excellent example of why abstinence is important during war. It's not a marriage thing; it's just because Hazel, growing up half-orphaned, isn't going to want to risk the same for her own child. But on that same note, plans can change...

Anyway. I wanted to include a little comic relief because the next few chapters are going to be more action and angst, since everyone is going their separate ways for the missions. I hope you enjoyed that little snippet of life in the Drummond/Black/Lupin household, which I have _sooo_ many plans for, oh my goodness. But we've got a while before the really fun stuff (like holidays and birthdays).

Thanks for reading, lovelies! Don't forget to review!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody was the single most intimidating person I had ever traveled with or spent any amount of time with. I'd be less afraid to duel Dumbledore than Mad-Eye. Well, that's not quite true, but it was much easier to hold a conversation with Dumbledore that didn't revolve around death, dueling, Death Eaters, and fighting.

It had been two weeks that we'd been on our mission, and just Moody's presence in our group had the number of unexplained muggle deaths drop to zero, and the dark shadowy figures seem to become nothing more than shadows. Still, there was more to do, and we still had two weeks to do it.

A vicious wind cut through the street, bowing over the trees so they arced till their tops nearly touched the finely-manicured lawns of the muggle neighborhood. I looked out around the street and saw nothing unusual; the street was quiet in the eyes of the impending storm, most muggles having retreated indoors, but something had me set ill-at-ease. I glanced around the street again, and then started walking down the sidewalk. It was only four in the afternoon, and most Death Eater activity we'd observed occurred after dark. Still, there was a persistent tug in my chest that something bad was going to happen.

I stopped still as a vision suddenly entered my mind, as unexpected as it was obvious: a knife plunged into a silhouette's back.

A betrayal.

Frozen on the sidewalk, I analyzed the vision. The silhouette was as anonymous as it could be, with no obvious way to tell who it was. Who could be the traitor, though? Alastor was as good an auror as they come; he took the job almost a little too seriously. The Longbottoms? But in the two weeks I had known them, they had been too good of people, perfectly moral and good. And there was no way Lily would turn, not after what _just_ happened with her parents in the spring. Who, then?

"Hazel, look out!"

I whirled around at the voice and comprehended many things in barely a heartbeat: Lily Evans was standing on the porch of the muggle house we'd been squatting in, her eyes wide with fear; the first strike of lightning had flashed at the perimeter of the neighborhood, landing a dangerous blow in the trees beyond; and Professor Harley stood barely a meter away with his wand pointed at me.

I ducked instantly and a bolt of magic flew over me. As I came back up, I pointed my wand at him and nonverbally cast a spell, watching it fly by as he ducked out of the way and incinerate a tree in another yard. The incoming rains would put out the fire; I wasn't worried. I saw Professor Harley glance behind himself at the tree and back at me with wide eyes.

"You were going to-!"

"And I'll do it again!" I interrupted, pointing my wand at him once more. "Petrificus totalus!"

"Protego!"

I rolled out of the way as the spell shot back toward me, and then hurled another at him as I ducked between the massive roots of an oak tree in the yard. A burst of blue magic flew past the tree and I ducked around to see him still in the street, awestruck. As a muggle's car began to come around a curve in the neighborhood, Harley took one look in that direction and apparated away. I slid my wand back into my sleeve and rose to my feet quickly, hurrying over to Lily.

"Inside, now," I said, pushing her into the foyer and closing the door and locking it. I glanced at the house, hearing nothing. "Where are the others?"

"Mad-Eye's in the attic, scouting the back, and the Longbottoms are asleep after taking the night-watch last night. Hazel, was that-?"

"Yes, it was Professor Harley." Her eyes shot wide, and I hurried on, "He's a Death Eater, but I think it was fairly obvious just now that he's not very good at it, and perhaps doesn't want to be. I don't know that we should tell the others."

"That we sh- what-!? Yes! Of course we should!" Lily gripped my arm. "Hazel, he could be responsible for the muggle deaths in the neighborhood. Don't you realize that? He may have been your favorite professor once, but now he's an ally of the Dark Lord."

I sighed, considering her words, and she carried on.

"He just tried to curse you; you realize that, right? What do you think would've come after that? A tea party? No. He was going to deliver you straight to the Death Eaters. They must know you were one of his top students and therefore you're less likely to want to attack him, which is exactly why they would send him. You _know_ you're a target, as much as Sirius is. You can't just pretend you're not in danger just because you don't want to fight him."

"I know that, Lily, I just… Why does this all have to get so _personal?"_

Lily hugged me briefly, and when I pulled back I took a deep breath and met her eyes.

"Because this is war," I said, answering my own question. "And war _is_ personal.

 **X~X**

The night rippled by in passing breezes that smelled of rain and rustled the shrubbery across the street. The moonlight faded and grew as gathering clouds passed by it, growing darker as the night wore on. From the second-story bedroom of the muggle home, a window peeked out just perfectly over Dover Street, allowing me a perfect view of the winding street, silvered by moonlight.

There- a flicker in the shadows.

The consensus had been to keep an eye out for Elias Harley, who was now a wanted criminal. It was still a struggle to resist calling him Professor Harley; I had to shorten it just to Harley, because I couldn't see him as Elias Harley and I also couldn't stop seeing him as my professor. He taught me one of my favorite two subjects for three years straight; that was hard to let go. But it was also impossible to forget he had tried to attack me that same afternoon.

I turned my attention to the flicker in the shadows, and saw the figure crossing just in front of the shrubs across the street, walking straight-faced and confident down the street. _Who is that?_ The gait looked familiar, and with a jolt I recognized him.

I watched him walk along for another minute, debating what to do. Do I stop and condemn the person who helped me before? Do I let a Death Eater go free? I kept watching, debating, and finally found the answer: a favor for a favor. He risked his life for someone else to be saved; I would let him go in exchange.

Regulus Black, a known Death Eater, strolled down the street across from an Order of the Phoenix hideout in plain sight- and I let him go.

 **X~X**

The night passed uneventfully after his venture down the lane, and come dawn I moved to the bed and fell into a fitful sleep. Dreams flickered in my mind of clear blue eyes and snakes; the images of those I had once known, had once almost trusted, cloaked in black began to haunt me. I couldn't stop wondering who would be next, and these fears materialized as my mind played images of Lily, James, Remus, Cassi, Pandora, Yumi, Xeno, Amos, and, eventually, Sirius, all in black cloaks. A skull opened, a snake crawling out of its mouth, and I woke with a jolt.

"Dreams again?"

I met Mad-Eye's one eye. "What do you think?"

"That you would benefit from chamomile."

He said nothing else and vanished from the living room. I rose from the couch and moved to the kitchen, finding a pot of coffee brewed, and poured a cup, needing the caffeine more than ever. The house was quiet, and a glance out the window showed me it was barely predawn, a very faint glow coming in from the sky. After making my coffee and setting the cup on the counter, I took a quick venture around the house- as expected, Lily and the Longbottoms were all asleep still. I returned to my cup of coffee and sat down in the living room with Mad-Eye, who had pulled an armchair over by the window and shifted the curtain just so that he could look out of it.

"Nightmares, were they?"

"Naturally."

"What about?"

I reflected, remembering the various nightmares that had haunted me for the past eight months. "Everything, really. Everything that has caused my fear, and everything that could. I've had nightmares about that night in the forest last December; that's something a person just doesn't get over. You can't hear the screams and smell the burning flesh and move on. That's the sort of thing that haunts you for life."

"That's perfectly reasonable, if you don't let it stop you. But that's not all?"

"No, it's not. Last night's nightmare, as always, was only a blur of images and feelings; that's how they work- a glimmer of memory, and the emotion attached, but intense and there again. If it's falling onto ice, I wake up shivering. But last night, it was eyes- pale blue eyes."

"Elias Harley."

"And others. He was cloaked in black. Then it was every person I trust and care about, every person I think is on our side, cloaked in black. Then the Dark Mark."

"Dreams can be a happy escape or a horrible reality. It does not do to dwell on dreams."

I looked up, recognizing these words weren't originally Mad-Eye's, but accepting the wisdom regardless. "And you? Any dreams like that?"

"When you've been an auror as long as I have, you'll know there's no such thing as a sweet dream or a good night's sleep. I've seen too much for that." He paused, leaning closer to the window. "Speaking of seeing…"

He withdrew his wand and swished in a small circle, a small beam of light shooting out from it.

"I've just caught us a Death Eater."

 **XXXXX**

 **A/N:** WHO'S IT GONNA BEEEE!

Leave your guesses in the reviews, as well as ideas about what else you think might happen during this venture with Mad-Eye and Lily and the Longbottoms- or even what'll happen with Sirius's group.

Anyone seen the new movie yet? I haven't gotten a chance to; is it worth it?

Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Narcissa Black sat bound by ropes in the center of a muggle living room, with wide, bright blue eyes and beautiful silky blonde hair pulled back from her pale, frantic expression.

"No, please- you don't understand- my fiance will kill you if he finds me like this!" She said, pleading with her eyes. She had a porcelain face, doll-like and ivory-skinned, and the only similarity between her and Sirius I could pick out was their paleness and the narrow set of their chins.

"Oh, we understand perfectly well," Mad-Eye replied. "But Lucius Malfoy strikes no fear in me."

"He should," she said softly. At first, I thought it was an attempt at intimidation, but I saw the fear in her eyes. "He's capable of things a man like yourself would never dream of."

Mad-Eye barked out a laugh. "Oh, I'm sure! And he'll be very capable of walking through that door to save his beloved. He'll be very capable of strolling into a trap, and he'll be even more capable of having his soul sucked out by the dementors of Azkaban."

So Lucius is a Death Eater. An interesting development. Narcissa's expression remained one of fear, and I reflected on how different this was than the Narcissa I went to Hogwarts with. She had been an arrogant, preppy know-it-all, and that contrasted greatly to the scared girl I saw before me now. I saw Alice Longbottom sharing my thoughts, or seeming to by her scrutinizing expression, and stopped Mad-Eye before he continued.

"Mad-Eye," I said, standing from the couch. He regarded me with a squinted eye. "Could Alice and Lily and I take a minute alone with her? Lily and I were her class-mates, and Alice is far more experienced, so if she tries anything we'll be fine. I think you intimidate her too much to get information out of her, and Frank could be on watch upstairs while you scan the yard and wait for her fiance."

He narrowed his eyes. "What's your plan?"

"Well, if I told you right in front of her, it wouldn't be much of a plan, would it?"

He grunted and walked out. "Come along then, Longbottom. Off we go to leave the women to gossip."

He strode out the front door, Frank following behind, and I turned to Narcissa.

"Is Lucius hitting you?"

She stared at me with wide eyes. "I- I'm not supposed to- I can't say."

"Then he is."

"No!" She yelped. "He's not! He would never do that- he- he loves me! He's not that kind of man!"

"Oh, really?" Alice said, her voice smooth as she walked around the room so she was off to the side of Narcissa's. "Then how is he supposed to discipline you? Obedience can be bred, but it's rare. Have you done anything lately to inspire his wrath?"

"Y-yes," she stuttered, her voice hushed. "But you mustn't say anything! It was my fault, really- I should've been a better fiance. I accidentally burned the pastries for a social gathering, and then didn't keep his water warm while waiting for him to get in the bath. It's entirely my fault, really-"

"Do you want to marry your father?"

She stared at me with wide eyes after I asked the question, and Lily gasped, "Hazel!"

Alice and Lily both stared at me in shock, but I kept my gaze on Narcissa, determined to help this young girl from a tragic fate. "Sirius has spoken to me about what you and your sisters went through. Tell me, do you want your own children to be beaten how Andromeda was?"

"Andromeda is a disgrace," Narcissa spat. "A blood traitor."

"Is that your words or your parents'? Or even your fiance's?"

She looked away indignantly.

"Narcissa, we can help you. Dumbledore can help you, if you let him. But if you keep hurling around the tired blood-related insults your family is so keen on, then no one will help you, and whatever children you have will be beaten as black and blue as you and your sisters were."

"What do you know of it!" She finally shrieked. "There's no possible way perfect Hazel Half-Blood Drummond could know anything about it! You've never been beaten! You've never felt the prejudice of being a Slytherin! You've never known what it's like to be pureblood!"

"But James Potter knows what it's like to be a pureblood and he's one of the finest men I know," I shouted back, cutting her off. I saw Lily's surprise but had to keep going. "And my muggle mother brought home a man who slapped me when she wasn't looking and as soon as she found out, she kicked him to the curb! There is no excuse for what your father has done, or what Lucius is doing now! And you have no reason to keep going with it!"

"I won't end up like Sirius and Andromeda! A filthy blood traitor, a family disgrace, blotted from the family tree! I won't do it!"

"Then you'll never be free," I said firmly, lowering my voice though she still shrieked. "You will be trapped and abused for the rest of your life and it will be entirely your own fault- not because you burned pastries or let him take a cold bath, but because when the door to freedom opened, you slammed it back closed."

She stared at me with wide eyes, this fierce, impassioned young girl, and I realized she may be almost nothing like Sirius but she was very like Regulus. Only her good influence was disbanded from the family before any influencing could be done.

"You don't have to be prejudiced," I said, my voice softer now. "Just as you don't want prejudice against you for your house. Based on your tone a moment ago, it really doesn't seem that you enjoy the pressure you believe comes with being pureblood. Lily here is the child of two muggles, and she's a brilliant witch, a wonderful friend, and a beautiful girl. James is pureblood and has never cared about her blood, even though the Potter family is almost entirely pureblood. He doesn't care, because there's no reason to. We'll not force you into anything just yet; we only need you to think about it for now."

I gave an emphatic glance to Lily and Alice, and the three of us moved to leave the room. Just as we reached the doorway to the kitchen, Narcissa said softly, "Wait."

I glanced back and she had turned in her chair, trying to look over her shoulder at us as her pale hair fell around her face.

"Hazel," she said, with a little more strength. "I'll talk."

I glanced at Lily and motioned with my hands, mouthing, Paper and quill. Lily nodded and disappeared into the muggles' study, while I gestured for Alice to go update Mad-Eye and then I returned to Narcissa.

"What will you tell us?" I asked, and she averted my eyes, her own glistening with tears. She took a deep breath.

"Names. I'll give you as many as I can remember. I- I thought I loved Lucius, and I thought I wanted him more than anything, but- but you're right. It's like living with my father again." She looked up at me. "I'll give you information if you release me. They think I'm too weak to fight, that I'm only his arm candy. I'll make an unbreakable vow here today to stay out of the fighting as best I can without blowing my cover, if you let me go."

I considered. An unbreakable vow meant she would tell the truth- and that was information we needed. If she tried to hurt anyone after making the vow, then she would die, and no one would be hurt.

"Deal."

"Unbind me."

"Not until you make the vow. Lily!"

Lily entered the room and I explained to her. She withdrew her wand and I untied one of Narcissa's hands just enough for this. Lily pointed her wand.

"Do you, Narcissa Black, vow to avoid fighting Voldemort's opponents, unless absolutely necessary?"

"I do."

A stream of light wrapped around our hands.

"Do you, Hazel Drummond, vow to release Narcissa Black if she provides the information discussed before this?"

"I do."

Another stream of light appeared, wrapping around.

"Then it's finished."

Lily lowered her wand, and the light fell to my skin, burning slightly, and then evaporated from view. I turned to Narcissa, and she glanced around at us each.

"Will you unbind me, please? You know I won't hurt you now."

She looked up at me then and there was so much brokenness in her eyes that I nearly did, but I needed the information first.

"The names, first," I said, "And immediately after."

She sighed, looking down. "Okay."

X~X

By the time it was all said and done, Lily had recorded nine Death Eaters' names, mostly Narcissa's family members but not entirely: Bellatrix Black, Regulus Black, Rodolphus Lestrange (Bellatrix's fiance), Lucius Malfoy, Amycus and Alecto Carrow, Lestrange Sr. (Rodolphus's father), Walden Macnair, and Rabastan Lestrange (Rodolphus's brother). After the list, we untied her, but she didn't immediately leave.

Mad-Eye was livid, but the vow was made. I was assigned night watch for the next week, which, thankfully, would give me three nights to sleep afterward, just before returning to the others. The house was quiet; I could hear Frank pacing around upstairs, keeping the upstairs watch, as I sat in the downstairs living room with Narcissa. The beautiful and impassioned girl sat on the couch with her legs crossed at her knees, her crystal blue eyes glancing at the night outside the window. A sigh pulled from her, and I sent her another scrutinizing glance, the only interruptions to my diligent looks outside the window.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Narcissa snapped, but I could see beneath her facade. She was terrified.

"I'm waiting to find out why you're still here and why you keep looking like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're a scared little girl trying to act tough."

She snapped her gaze away, turning her head so emphatically her hair whirled around her shoulders, and she glared out the window. "That's none of your business, half-blood."

"And here I thought we were past all that."

When she next spoke, the fight in her voice had dissipated. "I can't allow myself to be, or he'll kill me eventually."

"Who will? Lucius?"

"Him, or the Dark Lord. Either, really; it doesn't matter."

"You know, we can get you away from this-"

She turned back to face me with her eyes huge and shiny. "I can't! I've already told you that! I wish I could; I wish I could follow what I know is right and be a good person, but I can't let my parents down like that. They're determined to get Andromeda someday, and her husband's parents are on the hit-list. I've managed to get that information to her, but I can't even see my sister. If I turn my back on Lucius and my parents, then I lose my whole family. I- I'll be another outcast. Like Andromeda, or Sirius."

"As opposed to being someone you hate?"

She dropped her gaze, sighing again. "I know I should be a better person, but I'm not strong, Hazel. Not like you or Lily. I can hold my own in a fight, but I'm not that strong. Not strong enough to face him." A shudder rippled down her. "If you think Sirius has it bad with them just hunting him, imagine how much worse it is for me. I've seen it- the whole of the Dark Lord's forces as they are now. I've seen too much, and I can't fight against it, or for it."

"You could leave," I suggested, growing more determined to try to help her. "You could find somewhere safe to stay until the war is over, and then come back, find a man who actually loves you-"

"And still be without family or home or husband. No," she sighed, standing. "I've stayed long enough, and your words are brilliant but I'm looking at the reality right now. Don't think I don't know where those scars on your arm came from; my sister bragged endlessly about killing the little pretender who fell off the cliff, and now you're one of her biggest targets, besides our cousin Sirius. I can't involve myself in this anymore."

"You're already involved; let me help you-"

"No, Hazel." She forced a sad smile. "Leave me to my misery. It's nothing I'm not used to."

With that, she walked out of the house, and due to my vow I could do nothing to stop her. I locked the door behind her and a long sigh pulled from my throat; if I couldn't even help a girl escape a lifetime of abuse, what good was I? What good was any of this? How do I tell Sirius I had his cousin in safety and let her go in exchange for information?

As I watched her walk down the dive, peering out of the window, I felt for the first time that this was truly a war.

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **A/N:** And another chapter down! I don't think it's canonically stated anywhere that Lucius was abusive, but it's plausible given how he treats Dobby and by how scared Draco is of not being good enough for his father. It _is_ widely speculated, however, that the father of Andromeda, Bellatrix, and Narcissa may have been abusive; it would explain why Andromeda was fine with abandoning her family, why Bellatrix is so hostile and heartless, and why Narcissa is so protective of Draco, why she strives so hard to be a good mother. Those three sisters endlessly intrigue me, and this is the time period that it would make most sense to explore their family. Expect to see more of the sisters.

 **Raven that flies at night:** I'll definitely have to watch it then!

 **Klywen:** Thank you! That's my favorite kind of review, where someone sped through the first part and the second and absolutely adore the story. The second part will definitely be darker, since it focuses more on the war while the first was the happy, cheerful, school-era precursor to this. I hope you enjoy the rest!

 **Daniella:** Thank you for reading! I'll be sure to watch it when I can!

Don't forget to follow/fave/review!


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Narcissa's situation sat with me for the next ten days. I couldn't shake the frustration of knowing there was nothing I could do to help her, by her own choice. The saying that you can't help someone who doesn't want help was obviously true, but I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge that truth. Lily claimed to understand, but I knew she didn't. None of them did; not even I fully understood. But I knew Sirius would.

"What are you putting in the report, Alistair?" Alice asked, taking a sip of tea and sitting at the table with me and Mad-Eye. He was busily writing, his lips occasionally parting and his brow creased. I wondered if Dumbledore could actually read the chicken-scratch being printed on the paper.

"Likely that I'm a daft dimwit who deserves not to be on another mission," I answered.

"Lazing around putting your skill to waste is too much a privilege," Mad-Eye replied. "If I had it my way, you'd be scrubbing the Order's toilets for the next year." He jotted down a few more words and emphatically placed a period at the end. "I wrote what happened day by day, bracketing important dates. Dumbledore will know what it all means."

"So you included the fifteen days we spent sitting in the house looking out at the road and the lack of conclusion to our investigation?"

"Our investigation was very conclusive," Mad-Eye replied to Alice. "While you four sat around this house, I was actually out looking fer answers. We found evidence of several Death Eaters here, received the names of more, and-"

"And have yet to find out _why_ they were here," I said. He eyed me, and shrugged.

"Not every mission comes out successfully."

"Maybe not, but we could've spread out more. We've been cramped up in the same neighborhood a _month_ and found next to nothing. There's evidence of Death Eaters everywhere."

"Then you go find the explanation, if you're so bloody capable," Mad-Eye snapped, and I stood, my frustration boiling to a rage.

"I will," I barked back, and strode out of the house. Mad-Eye had yet to send a kind word my way since the incident with Narcissa; part of me was distressed to lose his good opinion, but part of me thought he didn't give anyone his good opinion anyways, except perhaps Dumbledore.

The muggy, humid street greeted me with late-summer heat and oppressive storm-clouds, and I found a sufficient way to traverse the neighborhood unnoticed. Ducking behind a bush alongside the house, I stripped and shifted into my animagus form, stifling groans of pain as my body twisted. I reached my smaller shape and began to travel the neighborhood, scampering about in search of answers.

It was going to be a _long_ last day.

 **X~X**

The streets darkened as the storm came in, and soon there was a soaking wet masked sable ferret traversing a muggle neighborhood amid a storm. Puddles seem much closer to floods when you're less than a foot tall.

I dashed around another corner into a narrow alley, and that was when the pay-off finally came. My eyes widened and I hurried into a small crevice behind a box sitting against the side of the house, and then crept forward enough to peer out. Bellatrix and Regulus Black stood with Lucius Malfoy in the narrow alley, but I got the distinct feeling this was no average family meeting between cousins and in-laws.

"She still hasn't said where she was," Lucius said. "Has she told you anything?"

"Narcissa hasn't treated me like a sister since I got the mark on my arm," Bellatrix replied snottily. "I'm a mere shadow to her. If she thinks she'll receive special treatment just because she's my sister, she can think again."

"If you lay a hand on my fiance-"

"I will if she gives me a reason to," Bellatrix hissed, stepping close to Lucius. He sneered down at her.

"Then you will be the next to die."

Centimeters from his face, Bellatrix's scowl turned to an unsettling grin. "The Dark Lord will never allow it. I'm his favorite, you know."

Regulus snorted. "Yeah, you wish you were."

"Filth!" Bellatrix snapped, turning her glare to Sirius's brother. I watched with fear for the boy as she clasped her hand around his throat. "How dare you speak to me like that!"

He smacked her hand off his throat and pinned it to the wall of the house. "Don't put your hands on my like that, you misguided _bitch._ Your sniveling wretch of a father was a better father than mine, believe that or not. I don't take well to hands being put on me."

She let out her infamous cackle as she leaned against the wall. "Then you're as misguided as I am."

A tense pause followed her words; I saw Lucius glancing between them in curious disdain, and then Regulus snapped his hand back. "I'm nowhere near as delusional as you are, cousin."

"Want me to tell the Dark Lord that?" she taunted, and he narrowed his eyes. Regret was painted plain on his face, and the boy, too young for this war, rolled his eyes.

"As if you would do anything to upset him. You know how much he likes our family, and I'm his key to Sirius. Remember how badly he wants the Marauders; harm me, and they're all out of reach."

"If we could get your brother's bitch girlfriend, we could leave this stupid village," Bellatrix muttered, looking out of the alley into the rain. She turned back to Regulus. "If you've seen her and you let her go, the Dark Lord will show you no mercy, regardless of what connections you may have."

Narcissa's expression appeared on Regulus's face: a scared little boy, hidden behind a tough facade. Regulus glared at Bellatrix. "Why would I let that mudblood go? She's nothing to me."

He spat the words and strode away, but I saw his shoulders shaking. He was as terrified as Narcissa. Bellatrix turned to Lucius. "Let's go. I'm ready to get back to Tom."

"Never let him hear you call him that," Lucius warned as the two began to stroll away.

"Someday he won't mind. Someday, he'll see me how I see him."

She vanished around the corner, and suddenly I was snatched out of the crevice from behind, by unfamiliar hands.

I was carried squirming down the street for some time before finally being dropped off somewhere in the forest. A horrifyingly familiar voice hissed, "Shift back and dress yourself. I won't look."

I looked up to see him turned away, holding a long black robe out behind himself, and sighed. There was no point trying to run; this was a talk that needed to happen. I shifted back and took the robe, pulling it quickly around myself and hugging it tightly to me.

"Okay, I'm covered."

He turned warily, and then faced me fully once he saw I was dressed. He sighed. "Hazel, that was reckless."

"As if you're one to talk."

He peered at me, as if searching for something in my face. "You've lost all respect for me, haven't you?"

"Oh, no, of course not, professor! Why on earth would I lose all respect for the man who taught me, helped me through school, befriended me, and defined a large part of my Hogwarts experience, and then turned on me completely by joining an order that wants me dead? There's no plausible explanation for how any of that could lead to me losing even an ounce of respect for you."

Elias Harley stood before me, soaked through, his black hair a mop pulled into a loose ponytail and his ice blue eyes marred by exhaustion. His angular face had grown sallow, all cheerfulness now absent from his expression.

He sighed. "I'm sorry-"

"No. Do _not_ apologize."

"Hazel, it isn't what you think-"

"Then why did you try to curse me in the street?"

"It was the only way I thought I could talk to you," he finally said, and I hesitated, which led to his continuing to speak. "They're after _you,_ Hazel. They wanted a way into Hogwarts and tried to recruit me a long time ago. When I found out it was _you_ they were after, I knew I had to do something to- to protect you."

"So you joined them!?"

"Please, let me finish!" He sighed, running a hand through his wet hair. By now, my hair was soaked through as well. "You've always been special to me. Please don't think I mean that in a creepy way- I'm not that kind of man. You were one of my first students at Hogwarts, and one of the most enthusiastic about the subject. In many ways, you taught me to teach divination. Do you remember that? In your third year, you'd come visit after class and suggest other ways I could review the lessons, new activities or homework. You were so young, and wise beyond your years.

He sighed, and continued. "As the years went by, you became a friend. I had made all plans to stay in touch after Hogwarts. As strange as it may seem, you filled a void that had been there since my time at Hogwarts. I had been an outcast- I- I was the Severus Snape of my time. Don't think I didn't hear how kids talked about him. Everyone thought I would turn out badly, and I was terrible at communicating. By the time I'd spent a few years away from Hogwarts, studying abroad, I'd gotten my confidence back. Hazel, you… You were the friend I never had at Hogwarts. So when I found out it was you, I realized there was only one way I could help protect you."

"By fighting from the inside," I finished for him.

"Yes," he replied, almost smiling with relief. "There are several of us who do that, actually. I've been caught a few times letting you go, luckily by the right people. I think you've noticed a few who don't do quite what they're supposed to. And now you know: I joined so I can prevent some of the damage."

"But, prof- Elias, you're still participating in their activities. I mean, what have you been doing here all this time?"

"Saying you're in different locations than you actually are," he replied. "If you're on the east side, I say you're at the west. If you're at the muggle house, I say I saw your group change location. The reason you five haven't been caught yet is because the Death Eaters are under the impression you rotate houses and haven't been staying in the same one."

 _He saved us._ The realization hit like a ton of bricks. "Wait, so- so the reason I've spotted you and another Death Eater outside the house but haven't been attacked, is because you were watching to see where we were, so you could lie about it?"

He nodded. "I'm not cunning enough to be a double-agent. I can't actively play both teams. But I can pretend to play for one and sabotage as much as I can."

"That's so dangerous, though-"

"I don't care." He was smiling now, and shrugged as he spoke. "I have no wife, and no children, and no friends. Now, I have no job. But I have the same care for my students that I've always had, and some of them are Death Eaters. This is the best that I can do for them."

He had a point, and I wished I could've found a way to record that or otherwise save the words so I could prove to the others he wasn't a bad guy. Yet I knew that would be just as dangerous for him, for others to know. He was in the same situation as Regulus, and Narcissa. The three were tied together and didn't even know it.

I rushed forward and hugged him, now seeing the man rather than the professor; he was Elias now. Just Elias: my friend.

"Thank you."

He hugged back, saying, "You're welcome."

I knew, somewhere deep down, that there was a high chance this was the last real conversation we'd ever have.

* * *

 **A/N:** I know this chapter and the next few are quite short, but it's because of the events they cover. There's only going to be about five or six more chapters of part 1 (1977), and then we'll be moving forward. That means a little more darkness and then the holidays (which, as the first book showed, provides no immunity to even more angst and darkness).

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

"Sirius!"

I had never done the cinematic run-and-jump move, but spending a month without Sirius had me relishing the chance to wrap my arms and legs around him. I buried my face in his neck and he squeezed me tightly to him, chuckling a little into my hair.

"Well, hello to you, too, Hazel!" He squeezed me and added, "God, I've missed you!"

I dropped off of him and, upon meeting his grey eyes, couldn't stop myself from touching my lips to his, and once I did I couldn't stop doing so. Our lips danced together as I kissed out all of the frustration and pain of the past month and especially the past two days.

Returning after my conversation with Harley had added another page worth of notes to Mad-Eye's report, as well as all new insight to the situation. I told all of it but the unnecessary personal details of my ex-professor's tragic childhood, which I was still struggling with. I didn't know how not to explain the scene between Regulus and Narcissa; though I hated telling anyone about Sirius and Regulus's childhood, I had to brush over a little of it to explain it to them.

Now, I was back in the Potters' living room to find the Marauders- including Peter- sitting inside the living room, and Sirius's lips were touching mine, and all was finally right in the world once more.

But like all good things, the kiss ended, and Sirius pulled back and looked at me with an easy smile and asked the one question I dreaded answering for him: "How was the mission, love?"

How do you say I spent most of it unknowingly hunting your family, witnessed your younger brother and cousin talking about killing me to get to you, and then received a heartfelt confession from my actually-not-a-traitor-but-still-a-traitor ex-divination professor?

"We'll talk about that later.

 **X~X**

"So, let me get this straight: Harley pulled you out to the woods in the middle of the night during a rainstorm, put you in nothing but a Death Eater cloak, and then told you about all of his _feelings_ for you, which caused him to enter the most dangerous order of dark wizards in history just so he can protect you?"

"That's- that's basically it, yes."

"And you find nothing odd about that at all?"

"I- of course I do!" I sighed. We were back at our cottage, sitting in the sparsely furnished living room, and though I wanted to sit in Sirius's arms and kiss him for the rest of my life, we both had a lot to talk about. "Sirius, I don't think it's quite how you're making it out to be."

"Oh, I think it is," he replied, his brow creasing as he leaned back in his burgundy arm-chair. "I think he's a bloody creep."

I suppressed another sigh. "Why is that what you're holding onto? What about all the happenings I mentioned with your family?"

"Well, none of that is a surprise. We knew you were a target, and now we know the real reason why. We know that Regulus doesn't seem to have his heart in it, which I'd also expected. And the only truly surprising part is that Narcissa actually listened to someone other than her mother, for the first time in her life, but then it's not surprising because even having listened she disregarded it and returned shortly after."

"But she didn't," I reminded him. "They had said she still hadn't returned."

"Oh! I left out the part where Bellatrix is _completely_ delusional and believes the Dark Lord favors her. That part is unsurprising. But that she called him Tom- that _is_ curious. I wonder who he was before."

 _There we go. Sensible topics._ I shrugged a little, looking at the small scrape on the outside edge of my hand; I had slipped on the walk back out of the woods, the rain and darkness making my eyes miss the patch of rock. Though a simple healing spell Lily had cast had closed the wound, it would still take a few days to vanish. The memories of that night, however, would take much longer. It was still unbelievable to me.

"Anyhow! Would you like to hear about _my_ mission?"

I looked up, Sirius's voice tearing my thoughts away from Harley. "Of course."

"James and Remus and I ended up camping on the riverbank, while Gideon and Fabian pretended to be hikers. We used the cloak nearly the whole time and set up protective wards to make our camping spot impenetrable. Then, on the second day of being there, we caught Rodolphus Lestrange wondering the woods. This epic duel ensued…"

I listened as he told me about all of the fighting that happened, and the wondrous time he had in the forest that had nearly killed me half a year before. They dueled innumerable Death Eaters and other followers, fought off dementors (which confirmed dementor involvement in the Dark Uprising), and eventually captured a few, which they then turned over to Dumbledore. It was an eventful month for the three Marauders and the two brothers, and now they planned to soon go visit Fabian and Gideon at their sister's house, some place in Devon called the Burrow.

"Would you two _please_ quiet down?" a voice came from the hallway at nearly two, and we looked up to see a bedraggled, exhausted Remus. He turned his tired blue eyes to Sirius. "I understand you had the time of your life, and that you and James have boundless energy and magical ability, but some of us grow very weary after sleeping in the woods fighting dark wizards for a month straight."

"Oh, but I was just getting to the good part-!"

"And it'll still be there in the morning. I imagine Hazel is just as exhausted."

I nodded. "It's only been a day since I finally discovered why the Death Eaters were in Oxford, and that run through the rain all day was not forgiving on my hands and feet, plus Mad-Eye refused to let me get a wink of sleep."

"Oh, you've barely told me about him! What was he actually like?"

"Sirius," Remus warned, "Let us sleep. Please, for the love of all things pure."

Grumbling, Sirius finally obliged, and we moved to our room and laid down. Finally, I got what I'd been wanting all day: the chance to simply lie in Sirius's arms, warm and safe and relaxed. It stirred up memories of the previous January, all the sneaking off to the Room of Requirement to relax on the couches, curled up together to forget the world.

"Goodnight, love," Sirius whispered, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Goodnight, Sirius," I replied, snuggling closer to him.

But sleep was not yet to come. I laid awake for hours, endlessly wishing I could sleep, but every time I closed my eyes some memory would take me and I'd waken half an hour later feeling I hadn't slept a bit. This whole ordeal with Harley refused to leave me alone at all; I couldn't figure out whether or not to believe him, or how I felt about Sirius's implications. It was easier to think Harley actually wasn't a bad guy, or a creep, but part of me sided with Sirius, that maybe he was. All of Cassi's jokes about me fancying Harley and going on "study dates" came back to me, and it reminded me I hadn't seen my best friend in over a month now.

At six, I finally got up, leaving Sirius to sleep. The room was barely lightened from the paling sky outside as I dressed, too tired to care what I was wearing and simply putting on dark jeans and Sirius's plain black Henley. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and scrawled a quick note:

 _Sirius-_

 _It is now six in the morning and I have barely slept at all. My thoughts won't shut up. So I'm going to visit Cassi; I should be back this evening._

 _All my love,_

 _Hazel_

Naturally, as soon as I reached my mother's house, I fell asleep on the couch.

 **X~X**

"Hazel?"

Waking to Amos Diggory impaling my arm with a fire-poker is not an experience I ever wish to find familiar, mostly due to his incapability to do so in a manner even remotely similar to "gentle."

"If you're having a child, you must learn to poke more softly," I mumbled, and he lowered the fire-poker.

"My apologies; it's just- well, what are you doing here?"

I sat up on the couch, the knitted blanket I'd covered with falling to my lap. As I sleepily rubbed away an eyelash that had gotten turned the wrong way, I replied, "Sleeping, obviously. I couldn't rest in the cottage, and we just got back from a mission, so I thought I'd come see Cassi."

"She's quite peeved with you, you know."

"Really? And why is that?"

Amos planted a hand on his hip. "She's thirty-seven weeks and hasn't heard from you in a _month."_

"Did she not get my letter?"

"No."

"Oh. Well, it explained that I would be in the area for a month, but avoid you three for your own safety, because I was hunting Death Eaters by Dumbledore's orders."

I saw Amos pale slightly, his eyes growing large. "O-oh. Oh. Sorry; we didn't know. She thought you'd simply abandoned her."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Yes, as that is something I've ever done in the almost seven years I've been friends with her. I'm quite the proficient abandoner."

"Is that a word?"

"No." I leaned back on the couch, glancing at the kitchen. _I hope there's Earl Gray… I could do with a cup._ "Where is Cassi, then? I need to talk to her."

"She's on bed-rest, asleep at the moment. She's very fragile right now, and needs no extra stress."

I sighed. "Well, alright then. Is my mum home?"

"She's at work for another few hours."

"Need any simple chores done?"

"I've done them already."

"Well, what am I to do, then?"

"You could go see her and explain where you've been in a non-stressful way."

I nodded sleepily. "Of course there is that. Fix me a cuppa, would you?"

"Why not. I'm only a house-husband at this point anyhow."

He trudged off to the kitchen and I rose and stretched before throwing the blanket back over the back of the couch and straightening the edges. I looked around my old living room, missing the place, and then headed over into my old bedroom, where I found Cassi's bedroom set mixed with Amos's, and the girl herself swollen beyond reason, stuck on the bed. She looked over at me with tired, shadowed eyes and a small smile.

"Amos said you were here. Where've you been?"

I made my way over to her and sat down on her bed. "Here, actually- in Oxford. Dumbledore sent me here with a group to find the cause of the unexplained muggle deaths."

"Did you?"

"Yes, but we couldn't stop them. It was a recon mission, not a capture."

"That's annoying."

"I know, but they outnumbered us anyhow."

She sat up some, one hand resting on her belly. "Find out anything interesting?"

I considered. "Severus is a Death Eater. Professor Harley is, too, but he managed to find a minute to tell me it's because he discovered I was targeted by Death Eaters."

"And you're sure you don't fancy him?"

"I'm sure. Sirius thinks he's a creep and is lying about his feelings being platonic."

"That must be annoying."

"It is."

Cassi pulled her hair to the side and began braiding it. "Any other news?"

I considered. "Sirius and James went on a separate mission around Godrick's Hollow in an attempt to capture Bellatrix, who coincidentally was in Oxford, and instead he found numerous other Death Eaters and turned some over to Dumbledore."

"I bet he can't stop gloating about it and that's part of why you're here."

"I'm here because I couldn't sleep, in part due to his gloating until two this morning."

Cassi rolled her eyes. "I would've bewitched him and made him sleep."

I half-chuckled. "I know. I was tempted to, but I also hadn't seen him in a month. I feel bad for leaving today, but I remembered how far along you are. What's your plan?"

She held up a hand, showing a stunning white-gold ring with a large marquise-cut diamond. "We got married two weeks ago, without telling anyone. I just didn't want my child born a bastard."

"Congratulations!"

She nodded. "It's been tough, though. Amos has been stressed for the past two weeks as well, until yesterday, he finally got confirmation that he got the Ministry job he's been going after. We'll be moving to a small two-bedroom home in Surrey, which comes with the job. There's a special Ministry payment plan for those wanting to live close to London, for ease of access. Since we're married now, and have a child on the way, we get the two-bedroom."

"That's wonderful! When are you moving there?"

"I can't just yet, so our plan is as soon as I've recovered enough to travel after the birth. It seems just yesterday Amos was visiting for Christmas and all of this started. I feel like it's only been a few hours since I told you about it in that empty classroom." She rubbed her belly absently. "Hazel, what am I going to do? Will you still be godmother?"

"Of course, Cassi." I reached out, landing a hand on her knee. "I'm here if you need me."

"And if the Order needs you?"

I felt a twinge of guilt. I couldn't exactly promise to be by her side, and instead sighed and said, "Then just remember I'm doing all of this so that you and your family can be safe."

She sighed, looking away. "I have no one else, Hazel. Pandora is off in her own little world; I've sent her countless letters and heard nothing in return. Yumi is studying botany in the Netherlands with Adonis, and I doubt we'll see her anytime soon. You're the only person I have left here, and you're my best friend. Already, you've had to miss my wedding; what if you miss my child's birth? Their birthdays?"

"Then it's because I'm making sure he or she gets _more_ birthdays later on, not because I don't want to be here. I'll try to be here, Cassi; I don't want to miss these things."

She sighed and didn't speak; after a short while, I simply left.

A state of gloom had overcome my usual disposition. I didn't quite know what promises I could make or keep, or how to feel about the climatic conclusion of that last mission. I didn't know how to talk to Sirius, because he was cheerful and victorious while I was confused and shadowed. This led to what was probably my first actual conversation with Peter Pettigrew.

James and Sirius were inside, recounting the story of their epic battle against three trolls to Lily; I had heard the story four times now, and found no amusement in it anymore. Remus was talking to Euphemia, and Fleamont was, like Cassi, ordered to bed-rest due to his declining health. The Prewetts were over, also listening to James and Sirius while they awaited a promised quidditch game. Their sister, they said, might be coming over sometime soon as well.

I sat in the Potters' backyard in the gathering dusk, at a chair off to the side of the patio set, watching the stars blink into view (though most were obscured by the veil of clouds skidding across the evening sky). The backdoor opened and I turned to see Peter bumbling out; I had never quite understood his place in the Marauders. He was quiet and small and, whether it was due to his being overshadowed by the others or simply a fact of his appearance, rather less good-looking than the others. He had contributed little to the map or any of the secret missions last year, and had never seemed particularly enthusiastic to talk to me. This made me wonder why he was out here now.

He sat down at the patio table and said, "Sirius sent me out here."

Ah, that explains it. "Why?"

"He's worried about you," Peter answered, his voice shaking slightly. "He says you haven't hardly spoken to anyone."

"That's true. I've got a lot on my mind."

"I heard about the mission. I d-don't know if I want to join the Order."

I looked over at him. "That's entirely reasonable, Peter."

"The others will laugh at me. They'll say I'm as bad as Snivellus."

I cringed inwardly. "Do you have to call him that?"

"He's a Death Eater. There's no reason to defend him now."

I turned away, not particularly wanting to get to know Peter now. Sure, he was as Marauder as the others, but I didn't have to like him. Something in his blue eyes was off-putting.

"Besides," Peter continued, "Sirius and James have always hated him, and you're their friend. You should hate him, too."

"That's poor reasoning to hate someone. Sirius hates him out of loyalty to James, and James hates him because Lily loved Severus as a friend and James is a jealous nob. Later, when he hated Severus for the mudblood remark, that was reasonable."

"Shouldn't you hate him for that?"

"I can hate someone or dislike someone without resorting to petty name-calling."

Silence fell over the table again, and after a few minutes of awkward quiet, I finally said, "Sorry. I'm just dismal. Any tact I may normally have is just gone."

"I spent six years in a dorm-room with James. I'm really not bothered."

I shrugged. "So, how was your summer? You visited muggle family, right?"

He didn't meet my eyes, his pale blue eyes looking out into the dark shadows beyond the sculpted backyard. "The summer was fine."

As he left the backyard and went inside, a deep sense of foreboding filled me. I didn't know what happened or why, but his summer was definitely _not_ fine.

A thought hit me that I knew I couldn't voice without angering the others:

What if I wasn't the only one the Death Eaters hoped to use to reach Sirius?

What if they went after Peter?


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

The next Order of the Phoenix meeting occurred three days later. As the members sat around awaiting Dumbledore's arrival, as the usually punctual headmaster had yet to make an appearance, the Marauders, Lily, and I all sat in one corner of the temporary headquarters- the Prewett brothers' home- discussing a matter of most importance.

"So I'm Prongs, and Sirius is Padfoot, and Peter is Wormtail, and Remus is Moony," James was saying, as the other Marauders rolled their eyes as if this conversation had occurred before, "And we all know the reasons for that. But we have another animagus here, and she has no shape-shifting-based nickname."

"James, is this really the place?" I asked, exasperated and somewhat embarrassed as the other members of the Order roamed around.

"You changed into a ferret and it got put on a formal report. Everyone here is going to know. Anyway! I think we should form a ferret-based nickname for her."

"Oh, Merlin's beard, James, please don't."

"It's actually quite practical to have a secret nickname," Remus noted, shrugging apologetically. "If we're ever captured, we can communicate without anyone knowing what we're talking about. If we find a double-agent, we can tell them, for example, Padfoot's cousin has Prongs in the hollow. Each of us would understand that; the double-agent might as well."

"You make a good point. Alright; hit me with nicknames."

And then silence fell. After a moment, Sirius said, "To be truthful, I don't actually remember your exact markings in ferret-form. Could you describe it?"

"Medium brown with dark legs and mask. The actual coloring name is Sable Masked."

"Sable?" James suggested.

"Mask?" Sirius added.

"I am _not_ traipsing around with Padfoot and Prongs as _Mask._ That is an atrocious nickname."

"She has a point," Lily said, and then suggested, "Since each of you, excepting Remus, have a nickname relating to your physical features, why not use one of hers? I mean, honestly, we wouldn't call James 'Spot' or call Sirius 'Fluffy'."

"That much is true," James admitted. "Ooh! What about Carpet Shark?"

We all looked at him with such an intense exasperation that he just shrugged.

"It was creative, you must admit."

"I don't think that's quite the word I would use," Remus muttered.

"Whiskers!" Sirius suggested, and I gave him the same look I had just turned to James.

"No."

"Tiny Toes," Peter spoke up, at his first Order meeting.

"If anyone here is Tiny Toes, it's you, Wormtail," I said, and he shrugged.

"At least I contributed."

 _Barely,_ I thought, but didn't say as much.

"What about Halfmoon?" Remus suggested. "Because that's the shape of ferret ears. It's certainly better than Carpet Shark or Tiny Toes."

"We'll leave it open to debate," I said. "Any others?"

I noticed Sirius send Remus an envious glare, and then focus harder. _Good, maybe he'll come up with something out of competition._

"What about Screech?" James added.

"No."

"It's not as bad as Mask."

"No."

"We could call her Blackfoot," Lily suggested. "Since Sirius is Padfoot, and ferrets typically have black legs and feet."

"Isn't that the name of an American native tribe?"

"Possibly."

"I think it is."

Lily sighed. "Well, I tried."

"Burrower," Remus tried, and I shook my head.

The names continued, including Cinnamon, Shadow, Ghost, Mocha, Dusty, Nutmeg, and Cocoa. I really didn't understand the food nicknames. No one else had one, not even Lily, and she was sweeter than any of us. We finally settled on Halfmoon, to Sirius's disgruntlement.

The actual meeting was brief; Dumbledore issued orders to those less injured to keep an eye on certain areas, which put the Marauders and I in charge of Godrick's Hollow, and then said the next meeting would be in another week, after he'd had time to review the reports of the ones just completed. After the meeting, we were all clustered together, and a group picture was taken of the lot of us. I ended up squished into the back, just behind Abilene McKinnon, next to Mad-Eye.

Just after the photo-taking, the meeting dispersed. Finally, I got in on the snacks set out; apparently, the Prewetts' sister was quite the cook, and she'd dropped in that morning to drop off treats. I still had yet to meet her; she'd never shown the other night. Judging by her pastries, she seemed a wonderful woman.

"Hazel? Are you alright?"

The voice came from next to me and I looked up in surprise to see Sirius. He still didn't know all the details of what had happened on my mission; Lily was leaving it up to me to tell him. I forced a smile, but it fell flat. "I think we need to talk, Sirius."

"Alright. Follow me, then."

He led the way out of the house and down the lane a ways, to a spot where a small playground sat across from a forest, by a fork in the road. He entered the muggle playground and headed directly to a bench off to the side of it, and I sat next to him. Clouds were coming in, shading over the sun arleady, but the darker ones remained farther out for the time being. Sirius looked over at me, his cinder eyes sweet and encouraging. I hoped they'd stay that way.

"Hazel, darling, you can tell me anything."

I sighed. "I made an Unbreakable Vow."

He stared at me, his expression unreadable, before stammering, "Wh- what? With who?"

"To whom, it would be. Your cousin."

An edge gleamed in his eyes. "Which one? And why?"

I stared downward, avoiding his gaze. "Sirius, please, just let me say it all at once, and then say as much as you'd like." I saw him nod peripherally, and took a deep breath. _Just take the plunge, Hazel- say it._ "To Narcissa. I vowed that I would let her go in exchange for information. We held her captive; she didn't just come to us. We figured out Lucius has been abusing her, the same as her father did, and I tried so hard to convince her to stay, to let us help her- but I had vowed to let her go, in- in exchange for names of Death Eaters, which she provided. I also- I also made her vow not to fight back against Voldemort's opponents, unless she absolutely had to in order not to blow her cover. I'm sorry, Sirius; we had her, and I let her go, for information-"

"How could you?"

I looked up, and his expression was cold. There wasn't a trace of warmth in his face for me. "Sirius, I'm sorry-"

"No! I don't want your damned apology!" He leapt to his feet. "You _know_ how much I wish my family would follow my example, would turn away from it all! You had the chance to help her and you let her go! All for this damned war effort! I thoguht you understood, Hazel- would you have let Regulus go?!"

"Of course not!"

"And why not!? Narcissa is my younger cousin! She's the one I've always watched out for; you found out she's been being hurt, and _you_ let it continue! By Lucius Malfoy, for Merlin's sake! How _could_ you!?"

"I'm sorry," I murmured, but it meant nothing now.

"You had better be," he said, glowering, his voice dropped once more. Fire burned behind the color in his eyes; they weren't cinder anymore- they were ashen. "If she _dies_ because of your grand idea for her to make that vow, then you will _never_ hear from me again. She's like a little sister to me, and I have always watched out for her, whether she wanted me to or not."

"Sirius, I didn't know-"

"You shouldn't have had to."

He started to walk away, and, impulsively and stupidly, I added, "She called me a half-blood, multiple times."

He stopped, already at the fence surrounding the playground, and turned halfway, glancing over his shoulder. "And? It's what you are."

With that, he strode out, and, for the thousandth time, I broke. Only this time, I didn't know how to fix it.

 **A/N: To whom it may concern, I have a** ** _niece!_**

Oh my goodness, my lovely readers. My life is going to be defined for months by that little girl; my brother was told he'd be having a son, but as of the c-section last night, we learned the doctor was wrong- we've got a little girl in the family. And that means that Hazel _might_ be spending a fair amount of time with Cassi's baby when it comes along, because I can't get this child off my mind. Also, my updates may be slightly slowed by the time I'll be spending with her, but I'm sure you all understand.

Anyhow, thank you for reading. Hazel and Sirius are having their problems, and we'll see how that affects the story over the next few chapters.

Don't forget to review!

(No, really, you guys are slacking on that, it's kind of disheartening.)


	20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

 _Six Weeks Later - September 21st, 1977_

The hospital was loud and warm, very different from the cold, rainy streets outside. Despite the dreary weather and my recent dreary disposition, today was a happy day. There was new life.

"He's beautiful," Mum noted, peering over my shoulder at the newborn. I smiled at her and back at him, rocking him slightly.

"I know," I said, feeling my heart swell at the sight of the child.

Cedric Amos Diggory had been born at 5:04 A.M., September 21st, 1977, with a full head of dark curls, and he was absolutely beautiful. He looked so much like Cassi, but with Amos's bone structure. And _I,_ Hazel Drummond, had been granted the honor of being his godmother.

"Okay, give him back," Cassi demanded, holding her hands out. I chuckled and, somewhat reluctantly, handed him back to her. She took him and snuggled him close, and the baby let out a laugh, and then spotted something on the ceiling and burst out crying. He had been screaming since he was born; in the six hours since his birth, he'd ceased crying for a whole twenty-six minutes. I had counted.

I gave Mum a look and we stepped out, finding Pandora, Xeno, Yumi, and Adonis all out in the hall, sitting in various chairs. Xeno was holding a magazine, and looked up in wonder. "Have you seen these? Knitting patterns? Apparently, you take wool, with these needle-things, and you can make the most wondrous designs."

"He's never been around many muggles," Pandora explained, and my mum nodded.

"So I see," Mum said, taking a seat and beginning to explain more of it. I sat down next to Yumi, who looked over at me with expectant dark eyes.

"Want to go grab a bite to eat? We've been up here all night."

"Oh, I would love to," I said. I'd apparated out of my mum's apartment last night at eight, when Cassi's water broke, and retrieved Pandora and Yumi, who each brought their beaus. Inevitably, I'd soon be questioned about Sirius, but I had no idea what to tell them and I wasn't about to push the subject. I missed him, but he wanted nothing to do with me it seemed, and I couldn't blame him. So I stayed at my mum's for now, ever hoping he'd forgive me one day.

I wasn't holding my breath for that day.

A sudden unmistakable pop sounded outside and I glanced at the others before excusing myself. _The Order, or..?_ I stepped out into the dreary weather, and almost immediately spotted a shadowed figure lurking across the street at the bus stop. His hood was pulled up so I couldn't identify him, but he peeked up at me and I glimpsed only a pale face. _Who-?_

He started quickly across the street. Muggles strode back and forth, not crowded but enough that I felt safe in my assumption whoever this was wouldn't cause too much of a scene. Then he looked up.

"Remus?"

Before replying, he grabbed my arm and apparated. As we landed, I gasped, staring at him. We were back at the cottage, in the yard.

"Remus Lupin! Don't you ever do that again- and in front of all those muggles!"

He pulled back the hood of the cloak. "Don't worry; I've got a charm on so they ignore me. By touching you, I spread that to you."

"Fantastic. Why am I here?"

I noticed then that his dark blue eyes were troubled and shadowed by deep bags. "Because I'm tired of sleeping alone."

I took a step back, my brow creasing. "Remus? What does that mean?"

He huffed impatiently. "Not like that, Hazel. You should know better; even if you and Sirius are fighting or aren't together or whatever it is, you're still off-limits. What I mean is that Sirius has vanished."

My eyebrows shot up. "Vanished? How so?"

He stepped closer again, lowering his voice and sending a wary glance to the surrounding trees as a whistling wind whipped through. "He's just gone. He didn't pack his things. James hasn't seen him, either."

"For how long?" _Is this why I haven't seen him?_

"Two weeks," Remus answered. "He moped and anguished over you, trying to figure out how he felt about it all, and then simply disappeared one day."

I narrowed my eyes. No. This wasn't happening. Not Sirius.

 _Not. Sirius._

 **X~X**

"Where is he!?" I shouted, pinning him against the wall by his throat.

"I can't tell you!"

"You tell me or you'll never be speaking again!"

"Help! Someone get this madwoman off me!"

I knew it was wrong, but there was no stopping me. I was livid, and nothing was going to stop me from getting to him- especially now that the he'd dared utter the words, _I can't tell you._ That, in my eyes, was as good as confessing.

I pressed my hand deeper against his throat. "Regulus Black, you tell me where your brother is _this instant_ or I will personally maim and castrate you and send your balls to your prejudiced horseshit father on a silver platter with a side of pumpkin juice. Now tell me where the hell Sirius is."

Regulus glared and rasped, "I don't take kindly to force or threats. Intimidation doesn't work on me; it only makes me more angry."

"Angry enough that you'll see your brother killed?"

"Angry enough that I'll do this-"

He attempted to kick out and in an instant I'd withdrawn my wand, nonverbally casting _Petrificus Totalus._ I sent a mental thanks to Professor Bronte.

"Your anger means nothing to me. Only answers."

"And how do you know I'll tell the truth?"

"It's your brother, you walking sack of pig-shit. You'll tell me, or I will track you down and bring my previous threat to life."

"I already told you," he gasped, as my grip tightened, my wand stabbing him in the stomach, "I can't tell you."

"Because you don't know or because you don't have the choice?"

"I can't tell you. But I know someone who can."

"And I should trust that?"

He wriggled, trying to get free. "Well, let me put it this way: what choice have you got?"

I glared, but he was right. I removed my wand, still holding him up by his throat. "Very well. Bring them here and state what exactly you're doing. I'll be in hiding. I want them to say the location where I can find Sirius. You won't see me, nor will they."

"Fine."

I stepped back, moving farther back in the alley, and then, just as I neared the street, uncursed Regulus and stepped into the crowded street.

This had better be worth it.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 **A/N:** Happy New Year! The action will continue for a few more chapters, and then before we know it we'll be at Part II: 1978.

This is turning out way longer than I expected, but I'm okay with that. It's also way less of a "romance" and more so a wartime love-story, which is not at all what I had planned when I started it but I'm very much okay with that, too. _I've written over 150,000 words of Harry Potter fanfiction what has happened to my life_

Also, for those who haven't heard it, the song "Unsteady" by X Ambassadors is probably one of the most perfect Marauders-era songs I've heard. Maybe not for Hazel directly because she's half-orphaned and rarely sees her mom, but even still, it's fantastic.

Thanks for reading, lovelies! Don't forget to review!


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

Narcissa and Regulus stepped into the alley as I watched from the shadows. The younger girl sent him a sharp glare from icy eyes.

"Is this some kind of joke? There's no one here."

Regulus glanced around as well, but neither spotted me. I was where no human could fit; they had no reason to check here.

"She's here, I'm sure of it," Regulus said. "Just, please- I'm under the-" he cut off, groaning, and then continued, "I can't. You understand. Just say it."

"Say…?"

"Where my brother is."

Narcissa glanced around. "Why should I? Who's listening?"

"He's family, 'Ciss, but you know he isn't cut out for this. He'll die before he turns."

She rubbed her arm idly; I wondered if she'd gone back to Lucius. "You're right," she sighed. "So she'll save him, and we act like we had nothing to do with it?"

"That's the plan."

Narcissa looked out at the street and nodded. "Very well. Don't forget my vow- I can't actually join in the fighting."

"I know. I'm not asking you to."

She sighed. "I'll have to go back to Lucius tonight."

"Stand up to him," Regulus said, and I saw the faint discomfort in his face, likely due to my being there. "The man's a coward. Confront him and tell him how you're feeling, how you've been through that enough- how you won't allow it. Do it for whatever future children you may have."

"And if he breaks off the engagement because of it?"

"Then you have the chance to find someone new."

"My mother will still kill me."

"Then _I'll_ find you someone new. 'Ciss, you're getting off-topic."

She leaned on the wall, looking around. "I know. I'm just worried. You're sure this isn't a trap set up by _Him?"_

"I'm sure," Regulus replied. "Just say it."

Narcissa nodded. "Very well. He's in London, at the East End. There's an apartment building of Cockneys. He's in there. That's all I'll say." She gripped Regulus's arm. "Let's go."

"Wait," Regulus said. "You have to say more. There are plenty of apartments in the East End."

"Look for the willow bloom."

And she apparated, taking Regulus with her.

It wasn't much to go on, but it was plenty. I stepped out from under the dumpster and into the corner behind it. I accio'ed my clothing to me and started to dress, just to look over and see a homeless muggle gaping. I glanced at myself, my body still mostly unclothed, and then hurried to finish dressing. The bum let out a disgusting, throaty laugh, and as soon as I was dressed I pointed my wand at him.

"Confundo," I whispered, slipping my wand into the sleeve of my hooded black peacoat immediately after. He looked around, confused, and I exited the alley, pulling on my hood. My jeans and black boots should allow me to mix in with the muggles, but I knew the black, while disguising, was all too conspicuous.

There was a cold fire igniting in me. This wasn't a situation I had ever imagined- saving Sirius. Saving a _Marauder._ And the worst part was that James and Remus and Peter had all been trying, but no one had been able to find him until now. I had to get to that neighborhood, to find him, before they changed location. Part of me was immensely worried this was all a set-up, but I'd heard Regulus; he believed what he was saying. If Narcissa had lied, he would have called her on it.

And now, I was _going_ to save Sirius.

 **X~X**

I waited at the street for a sign, lurking like I'd seen the Death Eaters do countless times in other places. I found Willowlark Apartments fairly quickly, and now it was only a matter of verification.

It was ten at night and pouring rain when I finally got the sign I was waiting for. A man in a black cloak with graying brown hair and a scarred, grisly face entered the building, turning the heads of muggles.

 _No! Not him!_

I immediately chased after, all thought of self-preservation gone. I was not going to allow Fenrir Greyback to go after Sirius. What happened to Remus was bad enough; it wasn't happening to another Marauder. I wouldn't allow it.

Once inside the apartment building, I saw him on the second floor and heard a door closed. To my fortune, a trek of rainy boot-prints followed him up. I paused in a corner and withdrew my wand.

"Expecto patronum," I whispered, and a dog leapt from my wand. It stopped and looked at me; Dumbledore had taught us the spell at the last meeting to use our patronus as a messenger. "Tell Remus Willowlark Apartments, East End, London. Greyback is here."

The dog disappeared into the night and I hurried up the stairs, reaching the second floor. At the third door down, I spotted the end of my trail of watery bootprints- that was where he had gone.

I hesitated there. _What if I'm wrong? What if this is a trap? What if Sirius isn't there at all, and he's simply avoiding me? What if this whole thing was only a set-up?_

"Get your hands off me!"

The shout from within the apartment erased all doubt I had. It was Sirius's voice, pure and true, and my patience was at an end.

I charged forward to the door and nonverbally cast _Alohamor_ a. The door unlocked and I charged in, slamming it behind me. Bellatrix pointed her wand at the door, locking it back, and then spotted me.

I took a heartbeat to take in the scene before me. The door opened into a narrow hallway, a bedroom on the right and a bathroom on the left. At the end of the hall was an empty room- empty but for Sirius tied in a chair, wrists and ankles bound, and Bellatrix and Greyback on either side of him, looking as crazed and evil as ever.

"The little pretender came for a visit," Bellatrix said, and she stood, grinning, from where she'd been kneeling next to Sirius. His mouth was gagged, I assume a recent adjustment, but his eyes spoke volumes, glaring at her more deeply than I ever had.

"Can I?" Greyback asked Bellatrix, looking over at her for permission with hungry eyes. She glared at him.

"Are you insane? This is the one we've _been_ hunting." Bellatrix turned her grin back to me. "And now she's come right through our door. Tom _will_ be pleased."

"She'll never take it," Sirius said, spitting out the gag. He heaved for breath. "Never. She hates you _and_ your precious 'Tom'."

"People change, dear cousin," Bellatrix growled. "Even you thought you'd never _willingly_ come here."

"Believe me, it wasn't for Tom," I said, and Bellatrix glared at me once more.

"How dare you speak to me! How dare you speak of him!" She shrieked, thrusting her wand out.

I ducked as she sent a spell flying at me, the green bolt bursting through the door, and I rolled into the bedroom.

"Hiding like the little coward you are!" Bellatrix called, and I heard her coming down the hall.

I peeked around the corner for a heartbeat, aiming my wand and shouting, "Diffendo!"

I ducked back around and Bellatrix let out a laugh. "Trying to cut me, sweetheart? How cute. It won't work."

I rose to my feet in the small, messy apartment room. I didn't want to know what had happened to its original owner.

"No," I said, stepping around the corner to come face to face with her. I smirked. "I wasn't trying to cut you."

"She was trying to cut me!" Sirius said.

I ducked out of the way as his _stupefy_ blasted her to the door, and then we both turned our wands on her. She lifted hers and shouted the killing curse; another green bolt blasted through the ceiling A few pieces of wood fell from the ceiling structure, landing on us, and I aimed my wand at Bellatrix.

"Expelliarmus!" I cast, and her wand flew out of her hand. I caught it and tossed it into the bedroom. She was slumped on the floor by the door.

Just as I tried to think of what to do now, Sirius disappeared from my peripheral. I looked over to see him clutched by Greyback.

"No!" I yelped.

"Get off!" Sirius shouted, wrestling with the wolf. He held off Greyback by his throat, but now Bellatrix was rising to her feet. I kept my eyes on her as she dusted her dress off.

"What you gonna do now, little pretender?" Bellatrix sneered. "Let him get bitten? Kill me?" She raised her eyebrows. "Try torture, it's more _fun."_

An idea hit me then and I pointed my wand at a blanket in the room. "Oppugno!"

The blanket launched itself at Bellatrix, smothering her, giving me time to turn back around. I saw Sirius's wand lying on the ground and grabbed it quickly, and then pointed mine at Greyback. At this point, Sirius was pinned down, holding Greyback off by the throat.

"Hazel!" Sirius gasped. "Quickly!"

"Petrificus totalus!" I cast, and then threw out, for effect, "Locomotor Mortis!"

Sirius scrambled to his feet, throwing Greyback over on the floor, and just then a sound of stitching breaking came from behind and I turned to see Bellatrix had freed herself. I grabbed Sirius's arm and apparated.

We reached the street below and I saw Remus running into the building.

"Stay here!" I shouted to Sirius, chasing after Remus, but he followed behind anyway. I entered the building. "Remus!"

"Remus Lupin!" Sirius called out as well, and Remus paused on the stairs, turning and sprinting back down.

"Thank Merlin you're alive!"

I grabbed both by the arm and apparated again.

This time, we landed in the Potter's backyard. Gasping for breath, multiple scrapes down my arms and face from the ceiling collapsing earlier, completely exhausted, and my adrenaline fading, I turned my eyes to Sirius Black.

"We have a _lot_ to talk about."

 **XXXXXXXX**

 **A/N:** Only two chapters left of Part One (1977), and then we'll be on to potentially greener (or blacker, depending) pastures. So! Sirius is safe, but what happens now that he and Hazel have reunited? Will they work things out, or, in their true style, continue to have trouble getting along despite their love for each other? Will the writer ever decide on an outline? Who knows? Not me. (Or perhaps I do.)

School is back in session, my very last semester, so by early June I will have a long block of time to just write until I elect to dedicate forty hours a day to anything. Until June, I will be facing a great amount of work; for my American readers who know our school system, I'm in three advanced classes (one AP and two honors), another science class, and a somewhat easier class that has become my only break from my busy schedule during the day. One of my classes is British Literature, but I've already read all the works; I'd been so excited that an English class would help me get better at my writing so that maybe by the third book of this I'd have a definitive outline upon starting it, but it doesn't seem that'll be the case. (Or maybe. Who knows what the future holds.) Anyway, my point in saying all that is that my goal is to have written through Part II before then, and Part III before summer gets out, and Part IV before the year ends (that'll be the last part and if what you've read so far seems angsty _you have seen nothing)._

So, thank you for reading, I apologize in advance if my updates start coming more slowly (but we're good for two more at least before I have to do anymore writing), and don't forget to review!


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Remus, will you give us a moment, please?"

Remus obliged his friend's request and disappeared into the Potter's house. As soon as he was out of sight and earshot, Sirius grabbed me into his arms, pulling me close.

"You came after me," he murmured, burying one hand in my hair as my face was buried in his chest. As wary as I was that he would turn me out again, I couldn't help hugging back. "I didn't think you would. I thought you had given up on me."

"I thought you hated me, to be truthful," I murmured back, feeling my eyes well up now at the repressed emotions. Immense relief that he was okay and that he was hugging me, sadness that it would likely end soon and I'd be alone again, hope that my sadness was wrong, bliss that I was back in his arms, anger for him leaving in the first place- it was all welling up.

"I could never hate you," Sirius whispered, and my tears spilled over. As strong as I may have been while hunting for him, the fight was now gone. He was the only one who could do that. But then he sighed and stepped back, burying his hands in his pockets. He faked a half-smile for a moment, looking down, and said quietly, "I guess this is goodbye, then. You can go."

Rebuked, I stepped back. "Wait, what? I just saved your life, and you're- you're just dismissing me?"

He looked up. "Don't you want to go?"

 _Of course not._ Unless- unless he still doesn't want me here. And it seems he doesn't. I sighed. "If you want me to go."

He shrugged. "I just want you to be happy."

"Apparently not," I said. I started toward the house; I was ready to shout Remus's ear off for dragging me back to save his friend just for said friend to dismiss me again so easily.

"Hazel!" Sirius called, and I heard him run up behind me, and then he grabbed my arm. I looked down, and for the thousandth time couldn't help observing his hand. I still wanted to grow old holding those hands, and I couldn't stop thinking that every time I saw them. It was infuriating right now, though. I was tired; I just wanted to go home, lay down, tend my wounds, cry this out-

"Hazel, don't go. Please."

I didn't meet his eyes. "Why not, Sirius? You don't want me here."

"Because I don't make you happy!"

I turned around to face him entirely. "Is that _really_ what you think? I'm miserable without you."

The words sat in the night, all of the stress and pain that we'd experienced welling up around us, crumbling and breaking as whatever walls we'd built collapsed. There was a look in Sirius's eyes of deep sadness, but I couldn't decide if that meant I stood a chance or if he was feeling bad for wanting me to leave again.

I loved him. I loved him with every ounce of my being, and from the moment I realized that I loved him, it was always true. It never varied, and how much I loved him was always consistent. I would love this man until my heart stopped beating, and likely even then. Whatever happened after this, I would still always love him. It wasn't the fickle teenage romance of first love; it was the soul-deep pull toward him, the need to be with him, to know that no matter how long we were apart we would always return to each other.

It was also the knowledge that if I was ever not what he wanted anymore, if I wasn't what made him happy, I would let him go, so he could be happy.

"Hazel…"

"Don't do that," I snapped, but my voice cracked. "Don't say my name in that sad voice and look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're regretting whatever you're about to do."

His hand found mine. "I'm regretting what I've done."

I stared up at him, knowing full well there had better be a more in-depth explanation. "What does that mean?"

"I'm regretting ever purposefully spending a large amount of time away from the one woman who ever actually loved me and made me happy. I'm regretting being away from you."

I waited. I wanted to just kiss him, but I wasn't going to get my hopes up. I was still waiting for the inevitable _but._

"Hazel, I love you. I'm tired of being away from you, of not spending every waking moment with you. I know we can't because of the war, but, dammit, woman, I love you! I miss you anytime we're apart. I just want you to want to be with me as well, and I feel like I'm always making you feel ashamed of doing things that you should feel proud of. You put aside your personal feelings so that you can save lives. I can't do that, but you did. Yes, it was my cousin; but it's her choice. You did what you could, I know that. You'd never intentionally put her in harm's way, and she would have left or been rescued by them eventually. I just- I'm mad for you. I'm sorry I got so angry; I shouldn't have. I wish I had come and found you sooner, but you know I'm daft. I convinced myself you were better without me."

"You're not daft," I said. "Except when you say things like that. I could never be better without you, Sirius. Never."

And then it finally happened.

He lowered his face to mine, wrapped his arms around my sides, and crashed his lips to mine. My eyes closed and I kissed back, my hands landing on his stubble-coated cheeks, and all the passion of the universe couldn't compare to the passion in that one kiss. All of my fear and doubt washed away under the tidal wave of Sirius's kiss, our lips dancing together in climatic, blissful perfection-

"Woo!" Remus called from the kitchen window. "Hazel and Sirius are back together!"

The kiss broke and, still in Sirius's arms, I looked over at Remus. "You just ruined a perfect kiss! I'm going to kill you!"

He disappeared from the window in a flash, presumably to run through the house to safety. I turned to Sirius and touched my lips to his again, but then the backdoor opened and James called, "Sirius! You're safe!"

And he was running at us. I sighed at Sirius, who just shrugged and said, "They love me. I'm sorry."

And then he was tackled by an ecstatic James. I rolled my eyes and started walking back toward the house.

"Whatever. I'm getting some food."

 **X~X**

Being back with Sirius was like coming home.

I had pictured a grand, enthusiastic reunion (after saving him from Death Eaters, of course), but I was surprised to find myself simply sitting in the Potters' living room with the Marauders and Lily full of a feeling of warmth. I was somewhat jittery for a few hours while the adrenaline wore off, but at the end of the night, I was calm and collected and, most of all, happy. Absolutely thrilled.

Sirius and I walked back to the cottage together, hand-in-hand, at half midnight. The streets of the little neighborhood were quiet and dark, fog resting in the humid night lit by golden streetlamps' glow. I leaned into Sirius, and my heartbeat picked up again out of fear he might change his mind.

"Do you want to know what really happened?"

I looked over at him. "What do you mean?"

He looked up, seeming to be looking for the stars beyond all the fog. "I told the others I was snatched, but that's not true."

I tensed. "Then- then what happened?"

 _He didn't go to them willingly, no matter what Bellatrix said. He wouldn't have-_

"I went to them, by my own choice."

 _He did._ I stopped walking. He looked over at me, and realization hit his cinder eyes.

"Not like that, of course!" He said, "Not to- to _join_ them or anything."

I waited, and he nodded his head toward the house. With some reluctance, I started walking again.

"I went to try to find my brother and Narcissa. From what you said, it really doesn't seem like they _want_ to be there. They seem more scared to leave than enthusiastic to stay. I just wanted to see if I could convince them to come back. Then Bellatrix had to be the first one I found, and she's- well, I don't know if 'mad' even has enough power to describe her level of insanity. She started dueling me, and I didn't think it would help me get Narcissa if her sister was pissed with me, so I tried not to fight back and just talk her down. Didn't work; she bound me and had me tied to that chair, wandless, the whole two weeks I was there. Greyback was the only other Death Eater to come visit; she said she was waiting for you to get there."

An expression of anger flitted across his face. "She really hates you, and she's been convincing Voldemort to try and get me only so that she could get me there and get to you. Absolutely mad, that one. It's got Regulus in a bad place, as well, since the only thing really keeping him alive is that I'm supposedly some expert wizard and they think they can go through Reg to get me. But really Bellatrix is going through me to get you, and that's only so she can kill you. She made a big deal about killing you that night by the train and finding out she was wrong has made her hell-bent on getting revenge. That incident at the quidditch game, plus the Daily Prophet's reaction, didn't help at all; it provided her with your name."

"Regulus has actually kept me alive, Sirius," I told him, having left out part of that. Sirius looked over at me.

"Really? My brother?"

I was tempted to be sarcastic, but it didn't seem the right time. "Yes. The whole time we were in that neighborhood he knew where we were, and told the Death Eaters somewhere else. Harley was doing the same thing, and I have reason to believe Narcissa lied for us, too. Bellatrix _really_ wants me dead, and they've all been working against her."

"Why would they risk her killing them to save you?"

I looked over at him. "Because I've helped each of them, I think, and because of you."

Sirius chuckled. By now, we'd reached the end of our driveway. "We're not even using our wands and we're hindering the Dark Lord."

I grinned. "It's fantastic."

He nodded agreement, and we kept walking until we reached the porch. I sat down on the steps and he paused, looking at me. "Are you alright?"

I held in a sigh, forcing a smile instead. "I'm fine, Sirius. Just need a minute."

"You're not 'fine.' Do you mind if I shower, and then we'll talk?"

"That's alright."

He disappeared inside, and I leaned on the railing. I was exhausted; after staying up all night while Cassi gave birth, and then running around trying to rescue Sirius, I was sapped of all my energy. Even still, part of me was terrified at the thought of entering the cottage; I had saved him and he said he missed me, but I didn't know whether or not that meant he actually wanted us back together. We had kissed and held hands and hugged and all of that, but I'd been wrong before, and if I assumed incorrectly it would tear me apart. _Is it even worth the risk?_

The thought stopped me. Of course it was; Sirius was worth any risk in the world, if it meant him being safe- but if it meant us being together? I loved him with my whole heart, but sometimes it didn't feel like that or any experience we went through together was going to be enough to seal us to each other. I would always love him, and I would always risk my life for his safety, but I couldn't assume that meant he would want me to lay down next to him at night.

 _I'm regretting ever purposefully spending a large amount of time away from the one woman who ever actually loved me and made me happy. I'm regretting being away from you._

Did he really mean it, or was he just speaking based on how he felt in the moment? Once he showered and cleared his head, would he change his mind?

How long could I sit on this porch and wonder?

 **XXXXX**

 **A/N:** Only one more chapter left of part one!


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Three

A boldness I hadn't expected inspired me to end up where I am now, a boldness from both of us.

Two hours ago, I had come inside from the porch and entered the bathroom to ask Sirius if he wanted me to stay or not; I hadn't cared that he was naked or that if he said no it would mean I'd be utterly heartbroken. I had been too tired to care, and had simply strode into the bathroom.

I had never seen him naked. I had seen him from the waist up, and I had seen most of his legs, but there was part of him I had never seen. And as I opened the door, I saw that part of him, and strangely was neither horrified nor over-excited. I'd had to refocus on his face, but that led to a whole new problem.

There's a certain brand of beauty that lends itself to a person when they're naked and soaking wet. His beautiful dark hair had been plastered to his jaw and his neck, and drops of water had run across the pale, muscular planes of his torso and arms coated in a fine layer of dark hair. Water ran in rivulets down his hips and legs, down to his long, narrow feet, and steam heightened the contrast of his slate-rimmed cinder irises. He was utterly beautiful, and, rather than ask why I'd just barged in on him, he'd only asked, "Care to join me?"

And I couldn't say no.

He had never seen me naked, either. He had seen me change clothes, but he had never seen beneath my underwear or my bra. He did tonight. I wasn't exceptionally heavy-chested, and on my long, narrow frame with the muscle thickening my stomach and arms, my small breasts seemed that much smaller and my narrow hips made my hind region seem that much less prominent, but he had called me beautiful more than once. I would be rinsing my hair or letting the hot water hit me and look over to see him smiling with a look of pure love and adoration in his eyes as he'd say softly, _You're beautiful._

Hugging someone naked was a very unique experience, and it did effect him in a certain way, but we only chuckled a little as he was embarrassed and I assured him it wasn't as awkward as he made it out to be. If anything, I would've been a little dejected if he hadn't gotten an erection at some point.

But then there were tender moments where I watched him tilt his head back and close his eyes, his hands on his shoulders as water ran down the front of his body, and the realization hit that you've never truly seen someone until you've seen them shower. He was absolutely beautiful, the most beautiful person I had ever met, and I loved him with every cell of my body.

After we showered, for a while, neither of us wanted to get dressed. We simply laid naked next to each other in our room, the door locked, and he ran his hands up and down my body, feeling almost every part of me. He didn't let his hand stray between my thighs; I didn't have to ask him not to, as he seemed to remember why not to.

But after a while, I just wanted to be clothed again. He made sure I was comfortable the whole time we were unclothed, but it's something you take in doses while you're still unaccustomed to being naked next to someone. All I put on was one of his bigger t-shirts, but it was enough to make me comfortable again. We fell sleep soon after I got dressed.

I slept dreamlessly, for the first time in a long time having a good night's sleep. I had grown accustomed to laying in Sirius's arms at night during the short time we'd been staying at the cottage, and the past month and a half away from him brought me no reassurance. Between the nightmares and the loneliness, it had been a _very_ long six weeks. Come morning, when I woke to see the early sunlight falling on his beautiful ivory skin and glinting off his impenetrably dark black hair, I felt my heart swell with inexplicable love.

There was nowhere I wanted to be more than right here.

I laid there for a long time, occasionally reaching up just to rest my hand on his cheek or brush a stray lock of black waves out of his face, and now and then I'd drift back to sleep for a short while and wake up with his arms locked back around me, holding me close. He was everything I had been missing, the abundance that disappeared and left me hollow, and now I was whole once more. No trauma, no war, no fight or absence or struggle could ever disintegrate the wholeness of my heart when in Sirius's presence.

Finally, we rose at almost noon, journeying to the kitchen. Sirius made pancakes while I cooked bacon, and we drank black coffee and ate and sat around chatting for a while. I was still in only a t-shirt, but I had heard Remus leave earlier that morning, and Sirius wasn't worried. Our cottage was our domain for now, a place full of love and intimacy and reconciliation. It didn't feel like we'd been apart or like I'd been hurting and still had to heal; it simply felt like I had finally come home after a long time away. There was relief and comfort, and all memory of yearning or hurting was gone. Completely evaporated.

The day continued until the time came that I dressed in a crimson turtleneck and a pair of jeans, and Sirius dressed as well, to accompany me. One of my main topics for the day had been Cedric; I longed to return to the beautiful little baby boy, with his full head of hair and big midnight blue eyes. I didn't think I'd ever seen such a perfect baby.

We ate a quick lunch and then left, apparating out to London, and walked hand-in-hand to the hospital.

Finally, I felt complete once more.

 **X~X**

Cedric was getting sleepy.

The little baby rested in my arms, his head resting on the crook of my elbow, and he was making the grumpiest little expressions. He looked incredibly like Amos, but he had Cassi's cheeks and eye shape. His hair grew long and curly, and his baby-blue eyes were wide open and had been staring around at all of us in wonder. Now, they scrunched with the rest of his face.

"What is it, baby?" I cooed softly, rocking him a little. "Are you getting sleepy?"

I looked up at Cassi; my biggest fear right now was her getting wrathful because she was still too tired to hold him much. Her mother and Lyra had held him more than anyone, then Amos, then me and Yumi, who had gone home earlier today. Her and Adonis were back in the country, and there was a large silver ring on her finger with a 24K diamond in the middle. (18-karat white-gold-lined silver Gibson ring with a marquise-cut 24-karat diamond, as she had told all of us at least five times.)

"Do you want to hold him?" I heard Cassi ask, and saw she had looked over at Sirius, whose eyes got big.

"I'm not- well, I don't have much experience with babies," he said, glancing at me. I noticed a faint rose blush appearing behind his cheeks. "Outside of my cousin's daughter being born a couple years ago, we haven't had many babies in my family, and I still haven't met that daughter."

I raised my eyebrows. "I can teach you to hold a baby, Sirius. I'm not terribly great with them myself, but it's easy to learn."

"Go ahead," Cassi invited. "Ced's got a wonderful disposition."

"Until I hold him and he starts screaming bloody murder," Sirius murmured, but he had approached me and was holding out his hands. "Show me."

I nodded and began handing the baby to him, easing Cedric into his arms. "Put his neck muscle on the crook of your arm, by your elbow, like this. Use your other hand to support his butt. There you go- you got it! You're a natural, Sirius!"

He cradled the baby in astonishment, and I couldn't stop grinning, watching him stare down at Cedric with big eyes. Cedric had lost his grumpy face and now looked up at Sirius in equal wonder.

"Hey, little guy," Sirius murmured, "I'm Sirius. I'm with your godmother."

Cedric tried to remove a hand from the blanket swaddling him, got frustrated, and made a fist by his face, curling and uncurling his fingers.

"What's that about?" Sirius continued. "You're a little fighter already, aren't you?"

Cedric made a noise like a grunt, and I felt my eyes watering, seeing Sirius chuckling softly and speaking in gentle tones to a little baby. I had never seen him around kids, and especially not around babies, but the look in his eyes and the gentle smile he had warmed my heart and returned to mind the image from June. Cinder eyes and long blonde hair- I could picture my daughter as easily as if we already had her.

 _Not till after the war,_ I had to remind myself. Voldemort's demise was the only thing standing in the way, however. If there were no war, and I was still somehow already out of Hogwarts, I wouldn't hold back the thoughts now filling my head of starting my own little family with Sirius. I was far too young, I knew, to be thinking so hard about it, but looking at Cassi and Amos, as equally happy and loving as I knew Sirius and I could be, I had no doubts we could make it.

 _After the war,_ I pressed mentally.

But oh, I wanted a child with him. I wanted a future. No fight could ever stop the unwavering love I had for Sirius, nor could halt the flood of images of a future with him.

I watched as he moved his hands so that he had one free and began wiggling Cedric's little fingers, and petting those soft brown curls, and then he grinned up at me. He glanced back down and passed Cedric to Cassi after little discussion, and then he came back and kissed my forehead, planting one hand on my side. He leaned down, kissed my cheek, and then whispered in my ear,

" _Someday."_

 ** _XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_**

 **A/N:** And here it is, the end of part one. Part II will pick up with 1978. I added a little fluff to the end of this chapter, which was mostly a nice romantic conclusion to part one, especially since 1977 will be the end of the easy times for Hazel and Sirius.

-Yes, these have been the _easy_ times.

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed so far; shoutout to Raven that flies at night for almost always reviewing, you're awesome and wonderful support. Outside of that, thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!


	24. Part II: Chapter Twenty-Four

**Part II: 1978**

Chapter Twenty-Four

 _1 February 1978_

Snow blasted the Potters' house with all the vigor and anger of any winter storm, and the howling wind was the only sound to be heard. It drowned out even the crackling of the fire only a couple meters away. A book rested in my hand, a muggle book my mum had given me for Christmas, _Bridge to Terabithia._ I'd received a surprising number of muggle books from her- _The Hobbit, The Princess Bride, A Wrinkle in Time, A Wizard of Earthsea, The Sword of Shannara,_ and _The Women's Room_ \- as well as several books by magical authors from Euphemia. I had a wealth of reading material, enough to last me at least till the summer. And that wasn't even mentioning the books I'd gotten for my birthday.

Sirius and I had spent both our birthdays together, by some miracle. Between all of the week-long or two-week-long missions Dumbledore had us on, the numerous duels, and so on, it had been hard to find time for each other as well as our friends and what family we had left. To make matters worse, we had all been rocked by the loss of Fleamont to the illness that had captured him late last summer, and Sirius had taken ample amounts of time trying to console James (my blessing was entirely given for that). James and I had actually had several long talks about losing our fathers, though I had little to go on. We compared how I'd grown up completely without one, to him growing up and then losing him. We agreed neither was worse, because while he had time with his father and memories I would never have, he also had the pain that came with losing him. He mainly leaned on Lily, especially whenever his mother stopped caring hardly at all about her home's upkeep, cooking, or even the impending marriage of James and Lily this summer.

Christmas had been rather dispirited. Remus and Peter and I tried all we could, but with James so somber and Lily and Sirius entirely focused on keeping him happy, and Euphemia miserable, and Cedric a screaming three-month-old, and Cassi and Amos stressed and exhausted, and my own mother spending the holidays with my cousin Willem and his family, and so on, there was little that could be done to incite the Christmas spirit. Few gifts appeared, though Sirius and I made the best of it that night at the cottage, dancing to Christmas carols on the radio and eating cookies Remus's mother had sent. Remus had gone home to his parents that night, but the full moon was two days later. It was all rather distressing.

It was as I sat on the couch, after reflecting on all of that and having completely forgotten my place in my book, that a pounding knock came at the door. I looked up in surprise, wondering who it could be that made themselves heard over the howling wind.

I walked over and reached the door and opened it. A woman stood there who gave the strangest sense of familiarity. Her narrow jaw, heavily-lidded eyes, sharp curved nose, round cheeks, and large, chocolate brown curls all called on an image I couldn't place, until I really looked at her. Then her dark eyes clicked-

The same dark color as Regulus Black's.

"Are you Hazel Drummond?" She asked, a soft but high voice coming from Narcissa Black's lips. A smile rose cheeks above Sirius's jaw, and she ran a hand through her big brown hair, as curly as Bellatrix's. I still hadn't accepted her identity. "I'm looking for my cousin, Sirius. Is he here?"

My mouth floundered for a moment as I attempted to answer, and then finally I managed to say, "No, he- he's um, he's- he's with a friend. Tonight."

She glanced down and I followed her gaze. Holding her hand was a little girl with bubblegum pink curls falling to her ankles and neon blue eyes, staring up at me in wonder- likely not as shocked as I was, staring back.

"Oh, this is my daughter, Nymphadora." She looked up and laughed bashfully. "Oh! I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Andromeda Tonks. You _are_ Hazel Drummond, correct?"

"Yes, I- I am." I stepped back then, remembering my manners. "Oh! Come in, please! It's far too cold out there for you two."

"Oh, thank you!" She stepped in, and I closed and locked the door behind her after peeking outside.

"Really, though, Sirius won't be home until the morning," I said. It was dimly lit in the Potters' house; it was only Euphemia and Lily and I here. "He's out with a few friends for the night, handling some- some business." _Full moon business._ "Please, have a seat. I'll turn on some lights. Can I get you anything? Food? Tea?"

I turned on lamps as I spoke, but Andromeda stayed just inside the door at the base of the staircase, looking around with some worry. I stopped and turned to her.

"Are you alright?"

She forced a smile. "Well, my husband is visiting his family, and- and my sister showed up at my house."

I raised my eyebrows. "Which- which sister?"

"Bellatrix. You've met her." Her smile couldn't survive this sentence. "She threatened my child when I refused to rejoin the family, but I'd rather not speak of such things in front of Dora. It's the middle of the night; is there, by chance, anywhere she can lay down? She was sleeping when my sister showed up."

I nodded immediately. "Of course; right this way."

I led her to the bed I'd slept in when I stayed here last summer, in the same room as Lily's. Lily stirred when I turned on the lamp and walked in. I glanced at Andromeda. "This is Lily Evans, the fiance of Sirius's friend who lives here. Lily, this is Andromeda Tonks, Sirius's cousin, and her daughter Nym- I'm sorry, what was it?"

"Nymphadora. Just call her Dora."

"Right." I turned back to Lily. "Do you mind if Dora sleeps in the other bed in here tonight?"

"Oh, no, that's fine!" Lily said instantly. "If you'd like, I'll stay awake until she's asleep, in case she needs anything." She smiled at the little girl. "A metamorphagus, I take it?"

"Yes." Andromeda chuckled a little. "If you wake up and it looks like a different little girl is in the other bed, it's because she changes by her mood. We're still trying to help her gain control of it."

"Oh, I understand," Lily said, smiling. "These things take time. She'll be in good hands here, don't worry."

Andromeda, stress heavy in her eyes, nodded with relief. "Thank you so much. If she gives you any trouble, just come get me."

"We'll be fine, I'm sure," Lily said. "Go on, get some food or tea. You look exhausted, both of you."

Andromeda let out a little laugh. "I am."

"Come on," I said, stepping back out into the hall and closing the door behind me. I looked over at Andromeda to see the woman running her hands through her voluminous curls. She looked over at me, and worry had creased her brow. Now, with her child out of sight, I could see she was waning quickly.

I stepped in briefly to inform Euphemia of her arrival, and Mrs. Potter simply accepted this and said she'd meet her in the morning. A glance at the clock, the hour hand indicating one in the morning, gave reason to her lack of care, but I knew the truth of why. With Euphemia's acceptance, I returned downstairs with Andromeda, and she took a seat at the table in the kitchen. I grabbed the leftovers from dinner and put them back on a pot on the stove to heat up, and poured a cup of tea from the kettle I'd made earlier.

"Sugar?"

"No. Black, please."

I smiled faintly at the irony, and passed her the cup, taking a seat at the table. "So, what happened?"

Andromeda's strength visibly fell out of her: she sagged forward, her eyes filling with an exhaustion and despair only present in the truly desperate, and the fear coming from her was tangible.

"Bellatrix apparated directly into my living room. She was there hunting Ted, but she said she would forget about him if I would come with Nymphadora, back with her to the Blacks' ancestral home. I would still be shunned for having a half-blood child, but the exception would be made due to my heritage. I would have to annul my marriage in the face of You-Know-Who, and accept whatever directions he gave for how to raise my child, as well as go through some sort of horrible initiation to verify I had changed and accepted the Dark Lord. I'd have one of those awful marks."

She trailed off, her eyes becoming glazed, and stared blankly away. After a long moment, she continued. "I managed to petrify my sister, grab Dora, and escape. It seemed to take forever to get out to the streets and onto my broom and leave. Dora's too young to apparate, and it was freezing out there. I bundled her up in my cloak and held her close, flying off as fast as possible. I had heard rumors that my cousin Sirius was banished from the family for dating a half-blood girl, and then moved away to the West Country. I kept my eye on the news, and discovered his location in December before last, when that awful train incident happened. I flew here and kept an eye out for a while, but didn't see anyone, until Lily walked outside for a moment, looking around as if she'd heard or seen something. I had heard about Lily and James; I believe their engagement was announced due to his family being pureblood, or mostly so. She went back inside and then, with no other choice, I came to the door after a bit more debating. I know my presence here makes a target out of you, and my sister hates you as much as Ted; but I had to find somewhere safe for my little girl, you understand."

I nodded. "I would never turn away a child in this weather to be preyed upon by Death Eaters, and I believe everyone in this house shares that sentiment. We'd rather die than leave your child to a horrible fate."

"I appreciate that. Would you consider letting us stay here a while? I'd like to talk to Sirius about a few family matters; I believe I have a way I can help his brother and my sisters. I know he can't be any happier about this than I am; we were kind of each other's solace during family gatherings. Always miserable affairs, those."

"I can't even imagine. My mum's a muggle, and my father died before I was even born."

Andromeda raised her eyebrows. "I wish mine had, no offense to my sister. He was worse than Sirius's father." Her eyes widened, and she met my eyes sharply. "I'm so sorry; has Sirius told you-? I don't want to give away his personal information if he wasn't ready to-"

"It's fine," I assured her. "I already knew."

She sighed in relief. "Oh, thank _Merlin._ I didn't want to make my one familial ally mad at me right off the bat."

"Even if you had, he wouldn't turn you away," I told her. "He's silly, but he's reasonable when it's important."

"I'm so thankful for that. He's a good sort, that cousin of mine. I wish his brother could be more like him."

I shrugged. "Regulus is a different case than Sirius. You have to remember, he wasn't exactly old enough to make up his own mind at the same time as Sirius did, and he's not as headstrong. When you were in your fifth year, were you prepared to charge off away from your parents for your loved one?"

She chuckled. "Yes, because they'd already stated their feelings for Ted. It didn't help that he's a Hufflepuff and I was a Slytherin."

I tilted my head to the side. "Why do you say that as past-tense?"

"Even the Sorting Hat can make a mistake," she answered. "I'm no longer the prejudiced, vile prat I was when I was eleven. Everyone can grow, you know; that's why I'm hopeful that I can save my sisters."

A long sigh whisked out of her. When she next spoke, her voice was scarcely a murmur.

"If they'll let me."

 **XXXXXX**

 **A/N:** I was going to wait until Feb. 1st to post Part II, but, it's been plenty long enough, and I want to know what you think about the inclusion of Andromeda in the story. I know it's weird because Nymphadora is so young and Remus is much older, but there are ways that they don't technically have to meet yet; their ages and relations made everything about their relationship kind of weird to me, because he ends up with Sirius's cousin who was born much later than he was, but we'll just ignore that for right now.

Anyway! What do you think? Kind of sad beginning to Part II, I know, but hey, it only gets worse from here!:D

Don't forget to fave/follow/review!


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Five

I didn't sleep at all that night.

Andromeda took Lily's bed, and Lily took the couch (after profusely apologizing that I'd have nowhere to sleep and ascertaining I was okay with it). Morning dawned gray and cloudy, the full moon fighting through the clouds as it sank. A muted blue dawn lightened the pale clouds, though not by much, and a series of pops came from the backyard. I headed over immediately and looked out the back window to see Remus hanging from James and Sirius's shoulders, an arm around each. I swung the back door open.

"Is everything okay?" I called to them. Remus's dark blue eyes met mine with a haunted expression.

"Long night," Sirius explained. I nodded in understanding and held the door open as they came through. They passed by into the living room, and I saw the confusion on James's face as I closed the door.

"Why is Lily on the couch?" He asked quietly, setting Remus in an armchair.

"Meant to talk to you about that," I replied. "Sirius, your cousin Andromeda showed up last night with her daughter. Apparently, Bellatrix showed up last night for Ted, and found Andromeda and Nymphadora home alone. They came here searching for safety. They're asleep upstairs, in the room Lily and I shared."

Sirius's eyes widened. "Are they okay? Does Bellatrix know where they are?"

"No; she petrified Bellatrix and then headed here by broomstick."

I looked over to see Remus had passed out, his face blanched, and my eyes widened. "Is he okay?"

"He will be," Sirius answered. "James- potion."

His friend nodded and headed upstairs, and then Sirius stepped over to me and caught me by the arm, pulling me into the kitchen. "So- so, what happened?"

I explained it in more detail; James came back downstairs and gave Remus the potion, forcing his friend to drink it, and then caught the second half of the story of Andromeda's arrival.

"What do we do with them?" Sirius asked. "We can't really offer for them to stay here; we've all got targets on our heads, and not only do they add to the level of danger here, but they put themselves in more danger by being here as well. And what about Ted?"

"I don't know," I said. "But Andromeda thinks she might have a way to help Regulus and her sisters. Even after what Bellatrix did, she still wants to help them."

"They're past helping," James said. "Regulus did what he could in Oxford, and that was a risk. Narcissa's openly stated that she'd rather not get banished from the family. And Bellatrix is bloody bonkers, so there's no helping her. She'd never leave her precious _Tom."_

Sirius snickered, but it ended quickly, followed by a sigh. "So we have to tell her all this. Hazel, why didn't you?"

"She was exhausted, and I wanted to talk to you about it first. Where can she go, then? Cassi and Amos don't have room now that Cedric is here. Yumi likely wouldn't take her in. My mum has been made a target too much, and wouldn't have the ability to keep her safe."

"We should establish a safehouse," James answered. "The Prewetts said they were working on making one for their sister and her children, should the war get that bad and come to her. Molly's trying to stay out of the thick of the fighting, on account of having small children, and her husband has no desire to get involved in it, either. Maybe we could make a safehouse for members of the Black family who don't want to be involved."

"How would we get the word out, though?" Sirius asked. "Most of my family is involved, by their own choosing or not, and are so frightened of one another that they might just rat out the hiding spot on principle, to save their own necks."

"What about Frank and Alice?" I asked. "They'd be willing to take in another couple, especially with a child."

Sirius nodded. "That might work. Didn't they have a sister or something staying with them for a while? They'd have a vacancy."

"We can find out."

James nodded. "Alright. Who else, then? The Bones?"

"No; they're rather… Tense. Not a good environment for a child. Alice is more maternal."

"The McKinnons?"

"Maybe. We can ask."

"What about Peter's family? Where is he, anyway?"

This brought pause to the conversation. Sirius added, "He was with us last night, wasn't he?"

"Where did he go since then?"

I sighed, trying to think. "He wasn't with you when you came back. There were only three apparations."

"Hmm. We'll have to find him later, I guess."

James clasped his hands together. "Okay. So, one of us wait here for Peter, another go to the McKinnons, and another to the Longbottoms?"

"Hazel, you went to Oxford with the Longbottoms; they might respond better to you. I'll wait here for Peter, that way I can talk to Andromeda when she wakes up. James- you go to the McKinnons."

We each nodded, and then a small voice spoke up from the entryway to the kitchen. "May I have some tea?"

I looked down to see Nymphadora, this time with a shock of electric blue hair sticking straight off the top of her head, and bubblegum-pink eyes. I saw Sirius and James staring with wide eyes.

"She's a metamorphagus," I explained. "Nymphadora, this is Sirius. He's your cousin."

She stared up at him with eyes wide. "Tea?"

"Uh… Right away," he answered, and moved to start it. She kept within centimeters of his leg, following him around the kitchen. I looked at James.

"Right, then. Shall we?"

He nodded, and we stepped into the backyard. He apparated, and a moment later, I did the same.

I arrived in a heartbeat somewhere near the Longbottoms' house in Hempstead. I remembered them saying they lived with Augusta, Frank's mother; she lived in a narrow, two-story tudor house, while they lived in a small cottage behind it; they would inherit the house when they provided Augusta with a grandchild, she said, at which point she would move into the cottage. I began walking the narrow, unpaved road that matched the description they had provided, and thanked my lucky stars I'd thought to ask them about their home.

The sun was up, peeking between dark masses of bruise-colored clouds, when I finally found what looked like the house. A small wooden fence wrapped around the yard, and a gate interrupted the drive up to the house, with a brass lionhead where there would normally be some sort of lock mechanism. I peered at it for a moment, trying to figure out how it would work, and then its mouth stretched wide. _Of course- it's magical._

"Name!" It barked, in a genderless and metallic voice.

"Hazel Drummond," I answered.

"State your business!"

"To speak with Frank and Alice Longbottom."

A curtain shifted in one of the house's windows, and an old witch stared out at me for a moment. She waved her wand, and then jerked it a few times, and the brass lionhead's mouth snapped shut as the gate swung open.

"Step through quickly or it'll slam ya!" The witch in the house shouted, and I all but jumped through the opening the gate left. I had narrowly crossed the gap when the gate slammed shut, whisking past my leg. The witch's voice came again: "Come straight to my doorstep and no further!"

 _Yes, ma'am,_ I thought sarcastically, but luckily had the good sense not to say. The witch's identity could only be one person- Augusta Longbottom, Frank's mother- and I highly doubted there was any wisdom in getting on her bad side. I waited on her doorstep, looking up at the paneled walls and wooden-beamed windows of her house; it was a fine home, really, and I could only imagine what the inside must be like.

The door swung open in front of my face and I was faced with Augusta Longbottom. She was a formidable woman, with the same dark curls as Frank, though hers grew long and were tinged with gray where they fell out of her bun. She wore a green dress, likely too form-fitting for a woman of her age, and had sharp, dark eyes that seemed to analyze everything about me before I could speak a word.

"Hazel Drummond, on my doorstep," she muttered. "Who'd have thought it. Aren't you too busy getting nearly killed by Death Eaters?"

My eyebrows shot up, and I forced them back down. "I see you read the Daily Prophet, then."

"Every time it lands on my doorstep. Not too often, then, with what a worthless owl I've got." She strode back into her home. "Come in, then. No sense spending all day at the doorstep."

I took a few uncertain steps inside. The door closed behind me. A soft _whish-hiss, whish-hiss_ drew my attention to an enchanted broom sweeping her floor, while a book whisked off the shelf onto her table and flashed open to a page.

"Read that, will you? Tell me what ingredients it says."

She was already across her immaculate living room and through a small doorway, into what I could only guess was the kitchen. I hurried quickly to the book resting on the coffee table and began reading the ingredients.

"Bicorn horn," I called, raising my voice so she could hear from the kitchen, "Mandrake root, ginger, and… Sulfur?"

"Sulfur extract, that would be. Thank you, dear."

The book slammed shut and whisked back to the shelf. I followed Augusta into the kitchen. "You _are_ Augusta Longbottom, right?"

She paused her stirring, turning to give me a fixed look. "Where else do you think Frank got his good looks from? The boy looks just like me, if a bit more tired." She turned back to her stirring with a sigh. "It's all that auror work he's been doing. His wife, Alice, is just as competent as he is, and between the two of them I don't know that I'll ever get a grandchild with how busy they are. Ran into the Dark Lord himself just last week! Can you believe it! -Hand me that ladle, dear, yes, that one- thanks- And then he wants to go _back_ this week to that blasted Order of the Phoenix, which I hear you're a part of, too. If I had it my way, you'd all stay put, but none of you seem to know what's good for you. Running about threatening dark wizards…"

"Well, someone's got to catch them, or he'll win."

"Perhaps it could be someone a bit more experienced."

"Not to be rude, miss, but how do you reckon aurors get experience?"

She glanced over her shoulder at me again, with such a frosty glare I was sure I was about to be sent off her property. Instead, she simply said, "I do suppose you have a point there. Now, go wake up my lazy son and his wife, and get them in here for breakfast. Don't tell him about the pepperup potion; he's been sneezing for days now, and he hates this stuff but he needs it. I'm sneaking it into his tea."

I just nodded and stepped out the backdoor, finding myself on a lovely back porch. The clouds had somewhat evaporated more, allowing sunlight to fall on a dew-sparkling green lawn. I picked my way down the sloping backyard to a cottage tucked against a small copse of oak trees, and passed a stream that wound down the hillside as I followed a pretty cobbled path that led from the back porch to the door of the cottage. They had an enchanting little home, far better than the rudimentary cottage I was used to.

I reached the cottage and took a moment to observe its whimsical facade. The door was wooden planks with a rounded top, fitting perfectly into an arched doorframe of cream-colored brick, and the house itself appeared to be constructed of a similar cream-colored stone, which was supported by pillars of stocky oak wood at each corner and on the impediment-arch windows, which each had a sill for planters. The roof appeared to be thatched, but it seemed that could have been only a general appearance with something sturdier underneath. Just to the right of the front door was a birdbath, surrounded by small bushes and wildflowers, which I was surprised to see blooming in February.

I knocked on the door finally, having been thoroughly astounded by the beauty of the home. _No wonder they don't invite people over often- I would never leave!_ Just as the thought finished, the door opened to reveal Alice Longbottom, her short hair ruffled from sleep and a crimson robe wrapped around her. Her eyes rose tiredly to meet mine.

"Hazel?" She greeted me with a yawn. "What are you doing here?"

"I have a favor to ask, actually. Go ahead and get woken up, and wake Frank as well."

Alice just nodded and walked off, leaving the door open. With less uncertainty than when I entered Augusta's house, I stepped inside the cottage, and closed the door behind me. The living room greeted me immediately, a basic area with a dark green couch, matching arm-chair, low coffee table of cedar wood, impeccable cedar desk, and a tall bookshelf. Directly across was a small dining room with a round table and four chairs, and next to that a small kitchen. A doorway rested immediately to my right, next to the desk, through which Alice had disappeared and closed the door behind her. I heard Frank's sleepy voice carry through the wall:

"Who's here? What's happening?"

"Hazel, dear. She has a favor to ask of us."

"Well, is she giving one back?"

"I don't think it's something that simple, dear. She wouldn't have come all the way out here for something trivial. Hurry up and get dressed; she's waiting out there."

"But it's early in the morning… Do I have to get up? Can't you deal with it?"

"If you want me to make all the decisions in our marriage, I will, gladly. However, I believe in a thing called equality. So please, darling, put on your pants."

By the time Alice walked back into the living room, I was testing out the armchair, which worked well for me. It was just firm enough that I wouldn't go numb if I sat in it too long, and it was just plush enough that my back wouldn't ache.

"This is a wonderful armchair," I noted, looking up at Alice, who now wore black pants a matching sweater and boots. She nodded, grabbing a piece of parchment from a desk drawer.

"Frank found it at a, um- oh, what do the muggle's call it? A 'thrift store,' I believe was the name."

"Oh, yes, my mum shops at those all the time."

Alice scrawled something on a piece of parchment, and a moment later Frank appeared in their bedroom doorway, still combing out his hair but dressed in a burgundy button-down and a pair of dark jeans.

"Is that the grocery list, dear? We badly need a resupply."

"Oh, but your mother just loves it when we eat her food," Alice deadpanned, and her husband chuckled, ruffling her hair, which she quickly fixed.

"As much as I'm sure you think so, I'm afraid we'll just have to make a trip at some point today." He sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. "Now, sit down, love, and let's hear what Hazel has to say. You were right- she's not the type to track us down and find out where we live for nothing."

 _Are they quite certain about that? I am dating Sirius._

Alice took a seat as well, looking antsy, like she was ready to get her day moving. She clasped her hands between her knees, as if finding a way to physically restrain herself from moving around. "Now then, what did you need?"

"It's not actually for me," I said. "Sirius's cousin, Andromeda, arrived at the Potters' house last night."

I saw the Longbottoms thinking for a moment, and then Alice said, "Andromeda Malfoy? The Slytherin?"

"Not- not exactly," I said. "It's Andromeda Tonks now."

Alice's eyes shot wide. "She married Ted!?" Alice leaned back on the couch. "I didn't think she'd do it! It was obvious they were in love, but they kept it hidden for so long- why did she arrive at James' house?"

"For Sirius," I said. "He's her cousin, and her only other family member who got banished from the family tree for not- not dating a pure-blood."

Understanding dawned on the couple, and Frank added, "I see."

"Anyhow. Bellatrix arrived at the Tonks' house last night, I suppose to torture or kill Ted, and found Andromeda and her daughter there alone. Her daughter, Nymphadora, is barely more than a toddler. Bellatrix made them the offer that they could live in peace, if and only if Andromeda had her marriage annulled and raised Nymphadora by the Dark Lord's standards. She managed to get away with her daughter, and had heard about Sirius staying with James in Godric's Hollow, so she came to look for him. He was actually not there last night, but I was."

"Why?"

"The boys were out for the night on some personal business, and I stayed with Lily and Euphemia to keep them safe. Anyway." By this point, I was really feeling my sleepless night. "I let Andromeda in, and she explained it all to me and then fell asleep with her daughter. I stayed awake to keep them safe, and I am now very tired. But James made a good point this morning, when he pointed out that Bellatrix Lestrange bears a personal grudge against me, and the Dark Lord is actively trying to recruit Sirius and James and Remus and even Lily. So Andromeda staying with us makes her unsafe, and makes us all even more of a target."

"So you're trying to find somewhere else for her and her daughter to stay," Alice concluded. "Somewhere unassuming and out of the way, that her sister would never think to go to."

I nodded. "Exactly. Or, if nothing else, keep her daughter safe. James has gone to talk to the McKinnons about the same thing, but they don't have very much room. I remembered you two talking about how much room there was in your mother's house, and I thought maybe…"

"Maybe she would be generous enough to open her doors," Frank finished. "Well, we can definitely find out. I would very much like us to open our doors to her; I remember Andromeda from school, as I'm assuming Alice does. We got picked on enough, but Andromeda wouldn't let the other Slytherins get away with it if she were around. It would be kind of us to return the favor."

Alice turned to her husband. "We can't leave a little girl homeless, even if her mother is targeted by Death Eaters. We put ourselves at risk every day. We joined the Order for a reason, and if we can't even protect a child, what good are we?" She turned to me. "We'll take Nymphadora, and, if Frank's mother allows it, Andromeda as well."

* * *

 **A/N:** Yay! Frank & Alice are two of my favorite characters. It's said they were extremely popular among the wizarding world, which made their torture that much more heinous and unforgivable. It's not unreasonable to think two such beloved and well-known characters would be welcoming to one of the Black sisters, especially Andromeda, who I also love. Remember that moment in the fifth movie when Sirius points her out on the family portrait? Since looking her up due to that, I've loved her character, and now there's room for in the story. She won't be here _super_ long, but she'll be here for a while.

Anyway, thanks for reading so far, and let me know what you think will happen next! Don't forget to fave/follow/review!


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

The situation with Andromeda was resolved with unexpected smoothness. And then, unexpectedly, an anniversary appeared.

February 5th rolled in with cold breezes that carried with them a blizzard from the coast. The beach froze over and the river was sheer ice; there was no going anyway, because our door was iced in. Luckily, Remus was at James' house the night before, and it was only Sirius and I.

I woke that sleepy misty morning to the howling wind and whirling snow. Startled, I bolted up, gasping and looking around. Sirius sat up next to me and put a hand on my back as I caught my breath.

"What is it?"

I shook my head, my eyes on our quilt. "Just- memories." My eyes flicked to the window. "The wind brought back some things I didn't want to think about."

"Hush, love, and lay back down," he prompted, wrapping an arm around me. Cocooned against his chest with the blanket pulled to my chin, his warm skin touching my face, I was soon taken back into sleep's cozy hold.

The next time I woke up it was to singing.

From the kitchen, Sirius chorused out lyrics far outside his pitch, some wizarding rock band song. I climbed out of bed in a pair of his boxer's and a camisole, my hair a mess and my eyes blurred from sleep. Some part of my chest yearned for the close comfort of affection, disappointed at waking up alone, and I knew he could provide me with the love I desired.

My bare feet padded down the plush carpet of the hall and were startled by the smooth cold of the kitchen linoleum. I came to stand behind Sirius, my chilled fingers finding the soft curve of his sides and snaking around so I lay against his back, my arms around his torso. Even shirtless in the early morning, he smelled the same as always- pine trees and rain. It was comforting to think that a whole year later, one thing had stayed the same. Sirius would always smell like misty forest, I believed.

"Good morning, love."

His voice was smoky and deep, rumbling against the back of his chest. My eyes closed and a sleepy smile crossed my face. "Good morning, Sirius."

We took our time with breakfast, taking turns cooking and holding each other and singing. Once the cooking was done, we sat lazily at the table as the sun rose, eating slowly and talking and laughing. As breakfast ended, Archibald flew into the window; the poor owl had braved the snow-storm to deliver the blasted post. I let her in quickly, and she came in and perched on the back of my chair once I'd taken the letter.

 _4th February 1978_

 _Dear Hazel & Sirius,_

 _Happy anniversary! (By the time this letter reaches you, it will be.) A package is on the way for both of you to enjoy in your new home. Cassi and Amos send their best, as do I._

 _Hazel, I want to talk to you about something. Come visit this weekend, if you can._

 _Now, enjoy today for what it is; don't worry about your blasted war or your pain and woe. You'll have 365 more days to worry about all that when it isn't your anniversary. For today, enjoy each other, and celebrate the love and happiness you have._

 _All my love,_

 _Mother_

I smiled as I finished reading it aloud, and Sirius did too. "So your mum likes me."

"She does," I answered. "I was worried when I had already told her about everything from the beginning of sixth year, but I suppose she likes you."

"It's weird to think it's been that long," Sirius noted. "We've been together a whole year."

I nodded. "Mad, isn't it?"

"Absolutely bonkers."

It would be a day of serenity in the midst of a hectic life.

For once, no part of the day revolved around any kind of fighting. We didn't talk about the war or about tragic pasts or trauma. We didn't mention any of our previous relationship issues, the ceaseless drama that had managed to plague our lives even in the middle of war. We simply coexisted, spending boundless amounts of time together, close and intimate. We ate and talked and laughed and expressed our love. We played in the snow and danced in the kitchen and sat on the porch. We took the day to do something we hadn't had time to do in a very long time: simply enjoy each other.

The night wound to an end, and we lay next to each other in bed. As Sirius fell into the relaxing escape of sleep, I considered whether or not it was time to overlook my own mindset and finally reach the point of ultimate intimacy with him; but my thoughts had not changed, nor had our situation. I fell asleep soon after, and for once, no nightmares touched my mind.

Morning came with pearlescent light on the curtains as sun bounced off snow. I lay snuggled in bed with the love of my life, warm and safe; the frost that layered over the house seemed to encase us in a world entirely our own-

-Until Remus knocked on the door.

The knob turned lightly and I looked up, Sirius still snoring beneath me, to meet dark blue eyes. Remus gave an apologetic smile and said softly, "Sorry to disturb; just wanted to let you know I'm here."

I smiled back and nodded, and he closed the door. I tried to close my eyes and let sleep reclaim me, but it was too late for such dreams. Instead, I slowly, steadily, edged my way out of bed and out of Sirius's hold. He was absolutely the warmest and most comfortable human in the world, but if I couldn't sleep, then I would shift around endlessly until my tossing and turning woke him. I didn't want that.

I tugged on a pair of jeans, unfortunately cold from the chill seeping into our cottage, and then wriggled uncomfortably into a bra and a midnight blue sweater. Once decent, I headed into the living room, closing our door softly behind me and making my way to an arm-chair. I sat down and for a moment stared out the window at the frosty morning, feeling content through my whole heart.

Footsteps came down the hall and Remus froze at the end of it upon seeing me. "Oh. Good morning."

I looked up; the boy was in only sleep pants and woolen socks. His upper body, scarred as ever, had become toned and muscular; I'd noticed since last summer he'd gone from scrawny to strong. I had a theory it was due to no longer having to worry about his fellow students finding out he was a werewolf, which undoubtedly took off some stress.

"Morning, Remus," I said. "You're up early."

"As are you." He began fixing himself a cup of tea. "Sirius didn't wear you out last night?"

My cheeks tinged red at the implications. "Er, no, he did not. We didn't do anything like that."

His eyebrows rose. "Really? That's… I don't mean to offend, but that's surprising."

"I'm not taking any risks during a war," I explained, and he nodded.

"That makes sense. Though one could also argue in a war all happiness one can get should be taken."

"That's true as well," I admitted, as he'd echoed my thoughts from previous times, "But it's really rather selfish to risk a child for the sake of one night of fun, don't you think?"

"Believe you me," he said, dumping sugar into a cup, "There is nothing worse for a child than unprepared parents. So I see your side of it."

I nodded, and looked back out at the snowy morning. A cardinal appeared, silhouetted bright red against the snow, and then vanished. I wondered if there were any meaning behind it. Cardinals… Family. An ancestor visiting. Domesticity. I pursed my lips. Part of me tugged toward Cassi; I hadn't seen her in a few weeks, and I had a godson who would be five months old in two weeks.

"Speaking of children," I said, rising to my feet, "I think I'll visit my godson. Let Sirius know, will you?"

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "You two spend your whole anniversary together, just the two of you, and you're leaving before he wakes the next day?"

"He'll be quite alright," I assured Remus. "I'll be back before too long."

I wouldn't be, but I'd had no way of knowing that when I said it.

XXXXX

A/N: Hi guys! It's been forever, I know, but I guess I have to be in love to write this story. (Breaking up with someone while writing the one-year-anniversary was probably not the best thing for my writing, but hey, it's been a few months now and I'm feeling much better!)

I started watching Prisoner of Azkaban last night and rereading this and fell back in love with it (mainly Sirius Black- it showed the scene where he's screaming (his mugshot essentially) and I was like "my baby" and then. Well, anyway.) and started writing. I'm now on like, Chapter 30! So, yay!

I'm sorry guys but this got waaaay darker than I had ever expected. On the bright side I'll probably be able to post a bit more regularly for a while!

Anyway. Hope you enjoyed; leave your thoughts/opinions in the reviews!


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

The house had been empty when I got there.

No furniture, no curtains, not a single sign of life- that meant they _knew._ They _knew_ and they didn't tell me. They left me to die. They let me walk in, get caught unaware. How could they do that? How could they betray me?

There was no escaping this time. I didn't understand what could have happened that Cassi and Amos would sell me out, the godmother of their son, her best friend for seven years, a friend of Amos for two years. How do you turn on someone like that?

It didn't matter. It didn't matter the cause; what mattered was that I was trapped and there was no getting out this time. I was locked in this dark hole until I died, by my own doing, by my body's failure, or by torture. I didn't know how long it had been now- over a day, for sure- but I knew Bellatrix wouldn't let me be taken back as easily as Sirius had. I regretted, now, that I hadn't kissed him goodbye, or even good morning. I regretted every time we had let our petty fights get in the way of us reuniting. I regretted every moment I had spent with any negative feeling toward Sirius, or James, or Lily, or Remus.

Not crying was both the easiest and hardest part of all this. Half of me was sheer despair, the pain of betrayal and soul-crushing hopelessness, and longed to weep; half of me was dreadful apathy, the accepted awareness of my inevitable fate at the hands of Death Eaters. There was no getting out this time. I was a goner, and that was that.

And they had _known._ Cassi and Amos Diggory had known the Death Eaters would be coming for me, had known I would apparate to their home, had let me be taken- had known what fate awaited me. What had been the price? What value had I gone for?

A single tear fell in the small two-by-two square in which I crouched. I swept it from my cheek. I was nearly certain I was in a broom closet, but I couldn't feel a door anywhere. There was nothing in here with me, and I had nothing but my clothes- not my wand, not the Marauders' papers (making me wonder where those were), nothing.

 _Sirius, wherever you are, I love you. Remus, James, Lily- you three mean the world to me. You've been better friends than any person deserves. Even James._

I sighed. I couldn't even remember what my last words to each had been. I hated that. To Sirius, I had last said, _Goodnight, my love. I'll see you in the morning._ Another tear spilled at the memory of the lie. To Remus, _I'll be back soon. Make sure Sirius knows!_ Another lie.

For immeasurable time, I sat in that closet and crumbled. At one point, I slept a bit longer. Then, suddenly, one of the walls fell away and a hand gripped my wrist, yanking me out. I was thrown onto hard black marble floor, my head colliding with the unforgiving surface. I winced but stopped myself from crying out. Through my blurred vision, I recognized Regulus Black.

"Go on, then! Prove it!" screeched an all too familiar voice. My vision came back slightly. Standing next to the hole in the wall in which I'd been kept was Regulus Black; next to him was Bellatrix (Lestrange, she was now). Regulus looked absolutely terrified and I grimaced looking back at him, still disoriented (and admittedly starving, exhausted, and sore from inexplicable bruises). Bellatrix walked over and kicked me so that I lay on my back. I went immobile, limp; I thought it better I seemed as weak as possible.

"What do you want me to do?" Regulus asked. He tried to sound defensive, but his voice shook and I could see fear in his eyes.

Bellatrix let out a cackle. "You know what to do, Regulus. There's an excellent way to torture someone- anyone. Do it. Prove you're one of us." She dropped her voice, and I realized then how large the room was. At a nearby table sat a handful of other Death Eaters; I recognized the three Lestrange men, Narcissa, Lucius Malfoy, Fenrir Grayback, Severus Snape, Elias Harley, and Voldemort himself, lounging back in the head chair with his fingers clasped before him.

"If you can't do this," Bellatrix hissed, "It only proves what a filthy blood-traitor you are."

"If we hurt her, Sirius will never-"

"I don't give a damn about Sirius!" Bellatrix shrieked. "This half-blood _bitch_ can't be allowed to exist! But we're going to have some fun with her first. If you can't do this, it's because you're _weak._ You're one of them."

I steeled myself and met Regulus's eyes. As imperceptibly as possible, I nodded at him. _Do it, Regulus. I'd rather be tortured than us both die._ He lifted his wand and I saw his jaw clench. Luckily, his hand was steady- luckily for him.

" _Crucio."_

Immeasurable pain shot agony into every cell of my body as a scream I couldn't control ripped out of my throat. More screams flew from me as the pain seemed never to end, contorting my body into different positions, my limbs flailing about and my blood vibrating with pain. It seemed an eternity stretched out, agony flooding me, before he lowered his wand.

"He's one of us," Bellatrix announced, her voice sultry with satisfaction. "I'm proud of you, cousin."

Regulus shivered as I lay on the floor, tears falling from my eyes uncontrollably as I stared ahead.

There was no saving me from here; of that much I was sure. I had no idea how long I would be here, or how much of this I could endure. But I had no choice.

 **X~X**

" _Imperio."_

A veil covered my mind as Voldemort circled me. "Tell us everything you know about the Order of the Phoenix."

My mouth opened and I forced it shut through a huge amount of will. I would give nothing away. Voldemort let out a grunt of frustration.

"I said, _tell me everything you know."_

He looked over at Bellatrix and she pointed her wand at me. " _Crucio."_

Strapped to a chair in the middle of a room as I was, after at least a month of torture, the cruciatus curse hurt as badly as ever, and I had no way to writhe or squirm that it hurt any less. I just screamed now, though I tried not to do even that, as it gave Bellatrix far too much satisfaction.

"Stop," Voldemort demanded, and she lifted her wand so it no longer pointed at me, letting it rest on her shoulder. Voldemort came to stand in front of me. "Veritaserum is the next step. You can't resist that."

"I'll tell you everything," I said, tears streaming down my face. "Please, just stop torturing me."

A horrifying smile crossed his face. "Finally- we've broken her."

 **X~X**

"The bitch lied!"

I was dragged out of my cell and fell to my knees on the floor, and rose, still on my knees, to meet the eyes of the dark wizards around me. A hand was on each of my shoulders- to my left, Bellatrix, to my right, Elias Harley. Voldemort pointed a wand at me. "She gave us false information!"

I had been held captive for three long months. I had been tortured by spells, by blades, by beatings, by starvation, and more, for three long months. I was at a point that I welcomed death. I didn't care what came next.

"Who would like to see what happens to those who lie to the Dark Lord?" Voldemort sneered. "Avada-"

 **XXXXX**

 **A/N:** Woo, _torture!_ And possible death!

Amos & Cassi are really horrible friends, dudes.

And now it's been three long months since anyone has seen Hazel- three months of torture and pain, some of that from people she had thought weren't as bad as they seemed.

So what happens from here?

 _Also,_ shoutout to Viria13 on DeviantArt; I've yet to have any form of communication with her ever but her Marauders' era art is gorgeous, and her Sirius is absolutely how I picture him for this.

~Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

There was a flash of green and then everything disappeared.

Then reappeared, after a flash of images. " _Petrificus totalus!"_

I sat disoriented and confused, staring at nothing in a field of green. It was broad daylight, something I hadn't seen in three long months. I had no idea what was happening. _Did I die?_

"Hazel, come on, we have to move!"

I looked up. I was on a mountainside with Elias Harley and a stunned Bellatrix Lestrange. "Harley?"

"Hazel, let's go!"

Harley had tortured me alongside the rest. I had felt the cruciatus curse from his wand, had three long scars along my bicep from a blade held by his hand, had been placed under the imperius curse by him to give information. I met his pale blue eyes.

"What's…" I couldn't speak. I hadn't spoken except to give false information in three months. I didn't know how to speak. He grabbed my arm again and apparated; this time, I appeared by a railroad, on grassy countryside at the edge of the forest. He apparated again and vanished, leaving me there.

For a heartbeat, all I could do was sit. I was free, and it didn't feel real. The last three months felt like a horrible nightmare, like I had just woken up.

I looked up at the sky, felt sun on my face, felt the grass underneath my buckled knees. I had no idea where I was, and for a heartbeat it didn't matter. Nothing mattered at all except that I could feel the sun on my face.

I could _breathe._

 **X~X**

It took some time to gather strength to walk the train-tracks.

I was bruised and malnourished; I had been fed only the bare minimum to keep a human alive for three months, given only the minimum amount of water. My whole body was purple and black and blue; I knew my face had several scars, scrapes, and bruises, and one eye was swollen almost entirely shut. I knew I must be quite a sight to see, walking along nearly-dead, but I had no other choice.

I soon reached a road, just by a bridge over a river, and suddenly realized where I was.

He had left me at the edge of Godrick's Hollow.

 _I'm home._

A gasp emitted from my throat and I started down the road at an increased pace, hobbling along as fast as I could. I had no wand, and I had been left in only an oversized black shirt, but I didn't care. The Potters' house was closest to the edge of town, closest to the woods- I knew the way once I reached the market.

A few people stared in the early morning as I ran along the edge of the woods, but I had no other choice. A couple asked if they could help; I ignored them and hurried on.

A familiar backyard came into view and my heartbeat quickened. My strength was fading; I'd had to stop multiple times already. I leaned on the back fence. "James! Lily! Euphemia!"

My shouts went out into the morning to no reply and I tried again, too weak to go any further. " _James! Lily!"_

A door opened on the house to reveal a confused Remus. He looked exhausted; I had no idea what moon phase it was, but I wouldn't be surprised if he'd just shifted back an hour ago. "Hazel!"

His shout was loud enough I was sure the others would soon appear. He dashed across the backyard; he was almost to me when Sirius appeared in the doorway and began to race over. Remus jumped the fence and caught me in his arms.

"Hazel, you're safe! What happened? Where were you?"

Sirius jumped the fence and caught the other side of me. Part of me wanted to scream at being confined, but the realization I was finally safe placed relief in my body that fear couldn't over-rule.

Within heartbeats, I had passed out.


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

I came to at night in a small dark room and, before a thought could enter my mind, I was screaming. I thrashed, kicked the blankets off, fell off the bed. The door opened and I cut off my screaming, though my breathing remained frantic and hurried. The light switched on.

"Hazel! Hazel, it's alright!"

It was Sirius. He hurried over, wrapping me in his arms, and the confinement set me off. I pushed against him, fought to get away, and he let go immediately as I struggled across the floor and sat.

"Don't take it personally," came another voice. I looked up in shock to see Dumbledore in the doorway. "She's been traumatized. I think it best that you give me a moment alone with her."

 _Dumbledore._ The part of my brain that had been set off by Sirius was soothed; Dumbledore meant safety. Some part of me that clung to my childhood, to a time before the ordeal I'd just experienced, recognized Dumbledore as authority- and that meant order, and order meant a lack of chaos. As long as he was here, what I had been through couldn't be repeated.

Sirius glanced hopelessly between me and Dumbledore. The headmaster nodded at him. "I've helped those in similar situations, Sirius. I ask that you trust me with this."

With one last desperate glance at me, Sirius turned and walked out. Dumbledore came in and started to close the door, then saw the frenzied panic that entered my expression, and left it cracked. He sat in a chair.

"If you prefer, you may stay in your corner, or sit on the bed."

I had recognized the room as the one where I stayed in the Potters' house, but that felt like a lifetime ago. I didn't reply, and instead stayed where I was sitting. My brain was still wired for self-defense, for survival; I had no idea how to speak or communicate anything beyond staying put. Part of me wasn't used to being able to move freely.

"Very well," Dumbledore said. "Can you speak at all?"

My heartbeat increased and I breathed, "I- a little."

He nodded. "Miss Drummond, I need to know exactly what happened. Can I get a record of your memories to put in a pensieve?"

He delved into his robe pockets and withdrew a small pensieve. He touched his wand to it and it filled with liquid. He looked up at me. "Oh; you don't have your wand, do you?"

I shook my head, and he passed me his. It was knobby and felt strange in my hand; I shivered as my mind flashed back to all the wands that had been pointed at me. With a concentrated force of will, I placed the wand-tip to my temple. _Dumbledore needs to know. He can help._

I pulled the wand from my temple slowly, focusing on the memories I didn't want to think about. Most of it was an incomprehensible blur of pain and suffering. Some of it was more notable. I placed the extensive string of memory in the pensieve, and then sat back as Dumbledore played witness to it. Once he finally finished, he met my eyes.

"You've been through a great deal, but I will let your friends comfort you." His eyes were as concentrated and resilient as ever. "Take whatever time you may need to recover. The Order can wait." He glanced at the window. "It's May 15th, Hazel; you've been captive for three months. We'll make sure Elias Harley is pardoned of any crimes when the time comes that he is captured. As for you, as you rested we had your wounds mostly healed; some will take time, Hazel, and you must give them that. Stay in here as long as you like, or wander around the house or yard, though I must ask you not go far- for your own safety. I will make sure no one speaks to you until you're ready to speak. Not speaking after an ordeal like that is very normal. The response you're having to this _is_ normal, Hazel."

He said my first name more times in that speech than perhaps ever before; I had always been 'Miss Drummond.' Yet being called Hazel rather than _half-blood bitch_ or worse was a refreshing change, and soothed some part of my heart. I just nodded at Dumbledore and he rose to his feet, starting toward the door.

"Dumbledore?"

My voice was barely audible but he still heard it. He paused at the door. "Yes, Hazel?"

"Thank you."

He nodded once and stepped out, leaving the door cracked behind him. I took stock: I had been changed into a pair of green plaid pajama pants (I distantly recognized as Sirius's) and a black tank top which could have been mine; all of my open wounds and gashes were closed with all infection removed; I still wasn't hydrated but I was more so; and emotionally, I had been better, but at my core I remained unbroken.

I sat for a few hours in that corner, reflecting on all that had happened. Hazel was coming back; I had shut her out as soon as I'd realized where I was, kept her out of the fighting to protect her. As I came back to myself and realized what I had been through, it was like feeling the wounds all over again. Part of me wanted to scream, to unleash all the pain and fear. By the third month, when Regulus tortured me, his eyes had been blank. They had broken him- but never me. And I didn't regret that. I had wanted him to live, had wanted Narcissa to live, had wanted Harley to live. All three had put me through unbearable pain, but in the end, Harley had risked his own life to save mine. I had seen the fear on Regulus's face, on Narcissa's- Harley had simply been the only one close enough to act.

Eventually, it was my stomach that drew me out of the room. Though I didn't feel like I'd be able to eat, I knew I needed to, and the thought of Euphemia's cooking had my stomach screaming at me. I'd had enough screaming and gnawing hunger to last me the rest of my life; I wanted food and I wanted peace. I could have both if I went downstairs.

I paused outside the doorway. Leaving the room felt like leaving my solitude behind. But I recognized then that my comrades, my beloved friends, would understand if I needed more time alone and would grant that without pause.

And my heart longed deeply- _deeply-_ for Sirius.

All I had wanted for months was to see him one more time, and now when I had, I had freaked out. Briefly, a pang of guilt stabbed me for that; I knew how it must have killed him for me to react to him like that. I would have to explain later, but, right now, I just wanted his presence.

I reached the bottom of the stairs to see James and Lily sitting on the loveseat, Remus on the couch with my mother and Yumi, Pandora and Xeno sitting on the floor by the coffee table, and, finally, in an arm-chair, Sirius. My eyes met his and shone with tears. They all looked at me; James was the only one who dared to smile.

I wanted to call Sirius's name. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't find the words. I walked up to him, the living room a blur, my strides quick on unsteady legs, and took his hand in mine. He stood immediately, apprehension obvious in his eyes, and I led him into the kitchen. On the counter food waited- rotisserie chicken and vegetables- and I sat Sirius at a bar-stool and fixed myself a plate. Halfway through, my hand started shaking, and I dropped the fork. I could feel his eyes on me, could distantly hear the others talking quietly in the living room. I felt rude for not embracing them all immediately; they had been all I thought about in that horrible torturous room.

The fork fell from my fingers with a clang and I started to tremble, and then quickly crossed around the corner of the counter. Sirius dropped to his feet from the chair and I pulled him to me, placing myself as close to him as possible and leaning into him. The smell of pine and rain hit me like a tidal wave and all my love for him swelled in my chest. He gingerly placed his arms around me and I clung tighter.

Finally, he leaned into the hug, tightening his grip slightly. "Oh, Hazel; I was so afraid I had lost you."

"I love you," I whispered. "I love you so much."

He breathed like it was the first breath of life to grace his lungs, entirely relief, and whispered back, "I love you, too."

It seemed somewhat inappropriate that I had run immediately to my romantic love when my mother sat in the other room, no doubt twice as anxious as anyone else in there, but right then, I had needed Sirius. I pulled back from the hug and looked up, meeting his eyes.

"I can't talk yet," I whispered. "Soon, but not yet. It's too hard right now."

He held my hands in his and looked closely at me. "I understand. Take all the time you need, love."

 _Love._ Hearing his voice, his soothing words and calming pet names, quieted some frothing part of me that had ceaselessly panicked for months now. I closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling of his hands in mine. I loved him; oh, God, I loved him, and nothing would ever change that. I leaned my head into his chest and he idly rubbed my back as I placed a hand on his stomach. I just needed to feel him _there._ To know I wasn't alone. Everything else could come later.

All I needed then was Sirius Black.

 **XXXXX**

 **A/N:** Yay, recovery! You know that joyous moment when you do something and your S/O flinches away? Makes you feel like utter dog-shit. But thankfully, Sirius doesn't push; after that first moment, he just lets her come to him when she's ready. Because Sirius is fantastic, and luckily, Hazel recognizes that. (I just rewatched the series and I'm still not over Sirius's death or how pure Luna Lovegood is).

Anyway, hope you enjoyed; don't forget to review!


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Chapter Thirty**

It was midnight when I finally remembered how to speak. I had eaten food and drank perhaps eight cups of water. For a short time, I was afraid I was going to throw up, but it stayed down. I kept Sirius with me, at the Potters' dining table, and had him catch me up on what I'd miss.

Euphemia Potter had died of a broken heart.

Yumi and Adonis were married; her fear had driven her to elope. She was now Yumi Chang.

James had tried to rescue me once, facing off against Voldemort again- to no avail. It was much the same outcome as last time.

Death Eaters had left Godrick's Hollow far behind.

A letter had come from Cassi; if I had any interest in reading it, it was in our cottage. Part of me wanted to; part of me wanted to the throw the letter and the heartless bitch who wrote it into a fireplace. I couldn't think of a good enough excuse for her to put me through that.

When I asked for some good news, Sirius told me he didn't know any. His life had been bleak and gray since he thought I would no longer be a part of it.

Finally, I strode into the living room, with Sirius at my back, and faced the people who mattered most to me.

"I just want to say," I said, my voice at its old volume rather than a whisper, "I love you all more than words could ever express."

"We love you, too, Hazel," James replied, and the fact it came from him seemed to bandage my shattered heart, pulling it back into one muscle. It wasn't all the way healed; but these people- these beautiful souls, now rising to hug me- were everything I could ever need.

My mother reached me first, crying. "Oh, my baby; I'd thought you were lost forever. When they told me- I just- oh. I thought it was your father's death all over again. I know your friends want to see you, but I just- I had to hold you in my arms again. I love you, my little witch Hazel; don't you ever forget that."

She pulled back and cupped my cheek in her hand, and then pressed a kiss to my forehead. My eyes welled up with tears, and she stepped aside, coming over so she was next to Sirius. Yumi and Pandora hit me next, hugging me at once. They both pulled back.

"I love you, Hazel Drummond," Pandora said in her lofty voice. "I know I'm horrible at communicating, but please remember I love you."

"I've been so worried," Yumi said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I love you, too."

They stepped back and Remus wrapped me in a close hug. I realized then how much closer I had become to him than I was to Yumi and Pandora. Hugging Remus while Sirius was in the room felt like coming home. Remus also had his own scent- something like cloves- and smelling it now added another piece back to my soul. _I'm safe. I'm home._

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, Hazel," he murmured softly, one hand on my hair and one on my back. "Life's simply not the same without you. You're a very dear friend to me and I don't want to lose you."

I laughed lightly, for the first time. "I'll try not to scare you, Remus. I'm sorry."

He pulled back and feigned a smile. "Ah, don't apologize. I can't be mad at you right now."

"You better not be," Sirius muttered protectively, and I smiled over my shoulder at him. As his eyes witnessed my smile, one of his own, marked by pure love, crossed his face, and upon meeting his eyes I saw only love shining back.

"Hazel!"

Lily clasped me in a hug, breaking the moment with Sirius, and I hugged her back. I had resented myself for a time for ever feeling negatively toward Lily Evans; she was a pure, beautiful soul, and a wonderful friend.

"Oh, I was so worried! I'm so glad you're back!" She pulled back, placing her hands on my cheeks. "We moved the wedding date to later in the month because you're going to be my maid of honor. You got that?"

I smiled at her. "Of course, Lily."

She smiled, though I saw the heartbreak behind it. She really did love me. She had to be the closest thing to a sister I'd ever had. She kissed my forehead and stepped over to stand by Remus.

After her came James. A wide grin crossed his face and he pulled me into a hug. When all the awkwardness and our previous rivalry was absent, James Potter gave surprisingly good hugs- very warm and secure, without being overbearing. He gave one soft squeeze before pulling away.

"I know we give each other hell but you're one of my best friends, Hazel Drummond, and I'll not have you dying on me just yet." He smiled and for once it wasn't a grin and there was no laugh behind it. He leaned in a little. "I faced off Voldemort trying to get to you, you know. Didn't tell Sirius a word of it, only reason he wasn't there, but I knew we just wouldn't be the same without you. I'm sorry I couldn't get to you."

I shook my head. "No apologies, alright? Not from you."

He just nodded. "I feel like I don't say enough that you're an important person. I just want you to know that."

I smiled. "I appreciate it. Now go back to being good old-fashioned James and piss me off a bit so I'll really feel like I'm back home."

He grinned. "Perhaps tomorrow."

I glanced behind me at Sirius, and then let my gaze sweep over everyone in front of me. Tears spilled from my eyes and I took a breath.

"I'm going to cry a lot, for a while, probably," I told them, "But that's only because I love you all so much and all I've thought about the whole time I was gone is all of you."

Sirius took my hand then. "Hazel?"

I looked up at him. "Yes?"

"Can you- can you tell us what happened?"

I met his cinder eyes. Part of me felt like shattering again, but instead, I nodded.

"Yes."

 **X~X**

I told them everything, and then found myself back at the cottage, on the old front porch that had become home to me. I looked up at the stars, finding Orion, Andromeda, Cassiopeia, Lyra, Sirius… So many star names. So much beauty in the night sky.

It felt good to be back in my own clothes. I knew I might not be able to sleep tonight, but I could see the sky, and it made me weep but I was blissful for it. I needed the sky. I needed the peace it granted, the consistency, the freedom.

Since escaping, I had thought of a thousand ways I could have escaped and hadn't. I hated myself for that, but I knew that given the situation it made sense I hadn't been thinking clearly. I had shut out all Hazel parts of me after the first cruciatus curse; I hadn't told Sirius anything of his brother torturing me, or of Narcissa or Harley doing so. He knew Harley had gotten me out, likely at the risk of his own life. But nobody knew the extent of who all I had seen look at me before inflicting endless pain. The pain didn't end with the curse being stopped; the longevity of the torture would be imprinted on me for a long time, and I didn't know if I'd ever move on past it.

Finally, I gave in, stepped inside, and found Cassi's letter. I sat down in the arm-chair where Remus had sat centuries ago when we'd discovered Sirius was their target, and opened her letter.

 _7 February 1978_

 _Dearest Hazel,_

 _I'm so sorry. That doesn't change it, I know, and I know there are likely few things that can cause you to ever forgive me. I ask that you at least hear my reasoning._

 _They took Cedric._

 _We woke up three days ago and he was just gone. They said they wanted you and would give him back as soon as they had you. We knew you'd said you would visit soon; we didn't know how soon, but it was all we had. We moved our belongings where we wouldn't be found and waited._

 _Hazel, I've never been so afraid. I had no idea what to do. All I could think was that if Voldemort pointed a wand at you and at Cedric and told you to choose who he killed, you would sacrifice yourself any time. I know that's not my choice to make and it's not my place to decide. But it's the decision I had to make._

 _I understand if you never forgive me. I don't expect you to. I don't really know why I'm writing this, except that I wanted you to know my side of it, that I didn't just sell you out. I promise I didn't. I was terrified for my son and I didn't know what to do. I should've gone to the Order for help, but I was afraid they would kill him if I did._

 _I'm so sorry Hazel. That will never be enough, but it's all I've got._

 _My undying love,_

 _Cassiopeia Diggory_

Part of me wanted to forgive her.

Inside, I knew I never could.

 **XXXXX**

 **A/N:** The next chapter will be the end of the super-angsty-post-torture-PTSD drama. I'm starting to think at this point Bellatrix Lestrange is the main antagonist, given everything she does in this and canonically. Hm.

Anyway. It's NaNo and I'm mostly done with Chapter 31, but I don't know if I'll finish it before the 31st. As soon as I'm done with my Camp NaNoWriMo project I'll finish that up so I can post it.

Love you guys; your reviews have been lovely! Let me know what you think of this chapter, the Cassi drama, whether or not _you_ would ever forgive your best friend for that, how absolutely sweet Sirius Black is, etc.


	31. Chapter Thirty-One

**Chapter Thirty-One**

Time seemed a blur. An uninteresting blur.

At first, being home again was nice- but it was hard to hold that feeling. Part of me felt like it had been killed, some essential piece that feels all the pleasantries of life. All that remained the same was that I could never get enough of the sky; it seemed like I was always outside, staring up at the clouds, feeling the sun, finding constellations.

The news came in only a week that Harley had been killed. I had spent that week moping about in the cottage; neither Sirius nor Remus knew how to act around me. My mother stayed with us for a few days, and offered to stay longer, but I sent her home. What remained of the child in me longed for her presence and wanted to bury me in her chest and forget about the real world; the lingering sense of danger wanted her as far from me as possible, for her own protection.

It was James Potter who pulled me out of it.

On the first of June, I had been home half a month, and had barely left to do anything. Sirius and Remus were out buying groceries when someone knocked on the door and walked in. I had been in the living room reading and nearly dropped my book standing up so fast. James held up his hands, hazel eyes wide.

"Relax; it's just me."

I took a deep breath, placing a hand on my chest, and then looked back up at him. "What are you doing here? You scared the hell out of me."

"Hazel, that's why I'm here," he said, shutting the door behind himself. " _Everything_ scares the hell out of you right now. I get that; I really, really do. I'm not trying to push you. But shutting yourself up in here, wallowing, becoming a shadow- that's not living. You're finally no longer confined to one small space; you can leave here, you can go out into the world. I'm here for you, alright? So are Remus, and Sirius, and Lily. Trust me, when my mother died, I-" he paused, clearing his throat as his voice cracked, "I wanted to shut myself inside and never leave again. Lily had to pull me out of that. I don't think Sirius knows how to. He wants to, but I don't know that he can. So, you're coming with me today, and we're going to Diagon Alley and getting you a new wand. We'll start small and do that, alright?"

I met his eyes, feeling terror rise, and then forced myself to nod. He was right, and I needed to hear it; I was just terrified to leave. Part of me still hadn't accepted the whole wide world was out there, and part of me was terrified of it, so I had shut myself inside. I met his eyes.

"James?"

"Yes?"

"I'm scared shitless right now. But I'm going with you and we're getting me a new wand."

He nodded, a smile stretching across his face. "Brilliant. Now go shower and get dressed; honestly, woman, hygiene is still a thing."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever."

I made my way down the hall and showered quickly and then dressed in black pants and a blue button-down. I stepped back into the living room with a deep breath.

"Ready?" James asked, and I forced myself to nod.

"Ready."

He took my arm, and we apparated.

"James, this isn't Diagon Alley."

"I know. It's a stop on the way."

"We're apparating, and even still, this is- we're in Scotland."

James looked over at me and grinned. "Do you want Honeyduke's or not? We could never stay here as long as we wanted while we were at Hogwarts. Now we can buy all the candy we want!"

His recent inheritance of all his parents' money would be going to a good cause, then. I sighed and followed him into Honeyduke's and he stretched out his hands.

"The world is before you, Hazel, and it is ready for eating. Pick all the candy you want."

And for whatever reason, running around Honeyduke's picking handfuls of candy from the shelves with James Potter, well, it felt like home. And it felt alive.

 **X~X**

"So, if you had to pick a marauder other than Sirius to date, which one?"

We were now in the Leaky Cauldron. My new wand rested in my sleeve and my pockets held half-empty packages of candy. James and I both had a butterbeer and a plate of food, and as we ate, we made casual conversation. I pursed my lips at his question, thinking.

"Well, not you, obviously," I said, and he gaped.

"Why not me?"

I chuckled. "Too much of an arse. I would never move past our old quidditch rivalry."

"But Hazel," he said, "I'm a keeper."

I chuckled again and shook my head. "Do I need to prove I'm a beater?"

"Aggressive. You're sure then?"

"Yes. Not Peter, either; I don't know that he and I have ever gotten along."

"He's an acquired taste. But hey, that only leaves Moony."

I thought about it for a moment. I could never see Remus as more than a friend. "He's… For whatever reason, I can't see him in that light at _all._ I never have."

"Sirius kind of tossed him in the shadows to you, I imagine."

I nodded. "That would be correct. So if not Sirius, no one." I grinned. "What about you? Which of your fellow Marauders would you date?"

James rolled his eyes. "Is it even a question?"

"Considering Lily isn't a Marauder, yes."

"Sirius. Obviously."

My eyes widened. "Seriously? Oh- I didn't mean to make that pun."

"Right. Sure you didn't." James laughed and took a gulp of butterbeer. "I'm serious, though. Damn, that's too easy. Anyway. He's definitely the prettiest of the other three- probably of all four of us- and has the best sense of humor. I think Remus would get tired of me, and Peter wouldn't be up for all my fun plans. Sirius and I have been partners in crime since first year. So if I had to choose a man, definitely Sirius."

"Does he qualify as a 'man' yet?"

James cocked an eyebrow, grinning. "You tell me. You would know better than I would."

I had a brief flashback to the shower Sirius and I shared. "He's definitely got the anatomy for it."

"You're blushing."

At the words, my face reddened immensely. "I am not."

I could feel my cheeks turning beet red and James's grin widened. Just then, the other Marauders appeared- Peter included- and sat at our table.

"James, what have you done to her?" Peter asked. "She looks like a beet."

"We were discussing Sirius's anatomy," James answered, and my boyfriend grinned at me.

"Were you, now? What about it?"

"Whether or not you qualify as a 'man' yet," James added.

"And based on how red she's getting- blimey, is it possible she's getting more red- the answer was yes," Remus concluded.

I rolled my eyes and took a swig of butterbeer. "You four are insufferable. I don't know why I talk to you."

"Because without us, love, life would be dreadfully boring," Sirius said. I looked over at James.

"Would you like to tell them what preceded that discussion?"

James waved off my comment. "We all already know I would date Sirius if I had to choose a man. We've discussed this in our dorm."

I gaped at him. "That has to be the gayest thing you've ever admitted to, Potter."

"They all know I'm mad for Lily and Sirius is mad for you, and Peter had that crush on Vanica Moore at one point. Remus is the only one here who might be gay." James looked at his friend. "And also the only one who never admitted who he would date."

I looked over at Sirius. "Who did you pick?"

"Remus," Sirius answered. "I would've said James, but, well, James and I would make a horrible lifelong team. Kitchen would always be dirty, laundry never done, all the food half-burnt and half-undercooked. I trust Remus more."

"Did you just imply the person you date should be someone who gets household chores done?"

Sirius, an arm around my shoulders, grinned at me. "Not necessarily. Just that living with Remus has particular benefits that James wouldn't offer."

"Whereas I'm an admitted slob," James added. "Lily doesn't mind- girl actually _likes_ cleaning, for some reason- but Sirius would because he likes a clean house, though he doesn't like to clean."

"As wizards and witches, can you really complain _that_ much about cleaning?" I asked, astounded. "All you have to do is wave your wand."

Sirius and James grinned at each other. "You would think we'd have little to complain about. But we're too lazy to even wave our wands."

I gaped at them both, and shook my head. "My, God. Whatever shall be done with either of you? You'd be hopeless on your own."

"Precisely why I picked Remus," Sirius answered. I turned to Peter then.

"So Remus never answered who he would, but that implies you did. Who'd you pick?"

Peter glanced between the other two and James grinned and said, "Ah, come on, Peter, don't be shy."

Peter grinned. "My answer was none of these awful twerps. Bullies the lot of 'em, not worth the time, and definitely not trustworthy. I'd wake up the first day with a boggart in my bed."

I laughed. "You're not wrong."

"Tell me one time that's every happened to you," Sirius argued, and I just cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Perhaps it hasn't yet, but that's a surprise to me."

Yet as I spoke, my mind flashed back to that day in the woods at Hogwarts when I had seen the boggart of dead Sirius- my heartbeat picked up and I swallowed heavily. Meeting his cinder eyes, I reflected once more that I never wanted to lose him.

"So, Peter," James said, interrupting my dark thought patterns, "How are things going with Renny Abbot? We heard about your little excursion in that tea shop."

"W-what excursion?" Peter stammered, his face turning redder than mine had been earlier.

As the conversation turned to lighter topics once more, I laughed and joked with the rest; it was very easy to feel okay here, with them.

Not for the first time, I reflected that these four were family. Peace entered my soul knowing I could always count on them.

 **xxx**

I lay awake a long time that night. The unfortunate realization that I had once considered Cassi in the same group- family, someone I could always count on- wounded me deeply. Amos Diggory had been a good friend of mine, and Cassi had been like a sister to me. Strange to think Lily Evans was more of a sister to me now.

I looked over at Sirius where he slept in the dark room, face illuminated by thin beams of moonlight filtering through the curtains, and laughed silently to think house rivalries had once meant so much to me. If someone had told me two years ago- even one year ago- I'd be spending nearly all my time with Gryffindors, I wouldn't have believed it. Now, I couldn't see things going any other way.

Perhaps someday I could forgive Cassi. It wasn't my place to decide how much she sacrificed for Cedric, and, as his godmother, I had a responsibility to him. He was a beautiful little boy and I wanted to be part of his life; but I didn't know how I could do that when every time I thought of Cassi I also thought of throttling her. Perhaps after the war, when she had no way to betray me.

Sleep took me in dark clutches for a time. Images, faded memories and nightmares, played in my sleepless mind, and then I jolted awake only two hours later. The last image to wake me would be the one to keep me awake all night:

Yellow rose petals falling and, behind them, a string of scarlet thread breaking in half.

As I sat up in bed, worry pricking my mind, I immediately remembered the meanings of the symbols.

Yellow rose could symbolize extreme betrayal.

Thread breaking meant a relationship being severed.

Scarlet… Well, that could be anything- love, anger, a person's aura.

The overwhelming and horrifying point was that the betrayal wasn't over with Cassi.

And I had no idea who was next.

 **XXXXX**

 **A/N:** Another chapter down and plenty of progress made! A little fluff to lighten up the tone from all the angst. James is a sweetie behind all his asshole-ness.

Also shoutout to asktheboywholived, whose beautiful roleplaying blog on tumblr inspired that which-marauder-would-you-date convo. He's lovely. His cosplays are lovely. And his characters are _so accurate._ So if you're on tumblr, check him out, and also gentlect (her young Molly Weasley is the stuff of dreams) and sirussly (her Tonks is so on point). Those three kind of got me back inspired to write this some more.

Anyhow! Hope you're enjoying a break from the fluff, even with that little nightmare hint at the end (but come on guys, I told y'all this follows canon, can we guess a big betrayal that could happen? I think we all can- though it's still only 1978, and the biggest betrayal doesn't happen until 1981. Hmm.)

Don't forget to review! I'll update in a week or so!


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

 _Three Months Later_

August swept in on a thundercloud. Rain swept over Godrick's Hollow for a week straight, and then it was time for my first Order of the Phoenix meeting since I'd been captured. The psychological scars of the torture were even more prominent than the scars marking my skin, but every time I saw the scar from James's fight with Voldemort, I was reminded we all had our scars and I couldn't let that stop me. Dumbledore had promised light duty once I felt safe to return. Sirius and James and Remus and Peter had all gone on several missions; all of Sirius's, to my appreciation, were rather short. I hated it every time he was gone, and eventually found I preferred that I were out there with him.

We were gathered at the Prewetts' house. Gideon and Fabian laughed boisterously with James and Sirius; the four had worked together quite often, while Remus and Peter were more often grouped with Lily or the McKinnons. It made sense, given the similar natures of each group. Now I was back, and had no idea where I fit.

Almost as soon as she spotted me, Alice Longbottom made her way to me. "Hazel!" She gripped me in a hug. "Oh, it's good to see you!"

I hugged her back and pulled back with a smile, just to be engulfed by the lanky form of Frank Longbottom in a similar fashion as his wife. I looked at both of them and smiled. "It's good to see the two of you! It's been a while."

"Yes, we heard," Alice said. "Andromeda was heartbeats from storming the Malfoy Manor herself. We had to all but tie her up and keep Nymphadora with her at all times."

I chuckled, trying to keep the mood light and shut out the dark images in my mind at their words. "And now I see the relation to Sirius."

"Sorry to bring it up again," Alice added. "I just want you to know if you need anything, even just to get out of the cottage for a while, our door is always open, and, well, you know where we live."

I smiled and nodded. "That I do. How is Andromeda, by the way?"

We got to talking and I discovered that some good had come to one of those three sisters. Andromeda was still grieving the death of her husband, Ted, but her daughter was already showing signs of witch ability, and changing appearance every five minutes. Andromeda found light in her daughter, and Alice hinted more than once that she would like to do the same one day, but Frank seemed oblivious to her hinting.

"Oh! You have to meet Molly! You haven't yet, have you?" Frank said, interrupting our catching-up. I looked over at him.

"No, I don't believe I have."

"If you enjoy the food here- which you will- then you'll want to meet Molly," Alice replied, and both members of the couple all but toted me over to a vibrant, plump red-haired woman, with sparkling brown eyes and more freckles than I'd ever seen on someone. She turned to greet the Longbottoms with a wide smile.

"Frank! Alice!" She said, hugging them. "I was waiting for you to come see me! And who's this you've got with you?"

"Molly, meet Hazel Drummond," Alice replied. Molly glanced at me and then back at Alice with a look of recognition at my name. She then smiled widely at me and pulled me into a close hug.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, dear," Molly said, and then pulled back from the hug. "Make yourself at home, and eat up, you're much too skinny. Oh, dear, I don't mean that as an insult."

"She tells everyone they need to fatten up," Frank noted.

"Me more than most," Alice added. Molly grinned.

"Out of love, dear- oh! Dumbledore's starting the meeting. Go take your seats; I'll get you all some food."

"Let them breathe, sis," Gideon noted, walking over. "Not everyone needs to eat constantly."

She elbowed the broad-set man's gut. "Maybe not you, brother, but that's thanks to me. You used to be a little skeleton of a thing before I learned to cook."

Gideon rolled his eyes. "And now it takes me twenty minutes to run everywhere. Let them be light."

"The only thing that needs to be light when there's food around is spirits and hearts," Molly protested. "Now go sit!"

The Longbottoms escorted me to the table, with Alice between Frank and I and Lily on my other side, next to James. Sirius tried to reach around to poke me in the shoulder, and I just smiled over at him before Alice began to speak again.

"That was Molly Weasley; married straight out of Hogwarts, got a couple of kids already," Alice said. "The most maternal woman you'll ever meet. All she wants to do is feed and clothe everyone and make sure they feel loved. Don't get me wrong, she's a damn powerful witch, could probably face off Voldemort himself if he touched one of her children- but above anything she's a mother, and then a wife. Loves her husband Arthur more than I think anyone's ever loved anyone, myself included. They knew as soon as they met that there was no point in waiting."

I smiled, my heart warming. "That's beautiful."

"I know," Alice said, grinning. "Makes you wonder how Gideon and Fabian could share blood with her, let alone the same parents."

I chuckled. "From what Sirius tells me, they're alright blokes, when they can take anything seriously."

"I bet it's frustrating to try not to use the word 'serious' as much," Alice noted, and I grinned.

"You have no idea."

"Everyone settle down," Dumbledore called from the head of the table, and within a few seconds all conversation had died down. "We have assignments to be given and a few announcements to make. Mr. Bones, I believe you had news to share."

Bones rose from the end of the table. I couldn't for the life of me remember his first name. He had a grizzled appearance, weathered skin and rugged shoulder-length brown hair, dark eyes. He cleared his throat and then spoke, his deep voice carrying a Romanian accent. "My brother, Hayden, has passed away. We think he was poisoned."

I saw Moody lean forward, his eye narrowing.

"We've no idea who did it but are working to find out. If anyone has seen any Death Eaters around Ipswich, speak now."

"I saw a few hooded figures off in the woods when I visited my cousin there," Marlene noted. She turned to her sister. "Abilene, did you see any details?"

"Blonde hair," Abilene answered. "Not Malfoy blonde, though."

"Could be anyone," Moody grumbled. "We'll have to do an investigation."

"And so we shall," Dumbledore said. "My condolences, Mr. Bones. Alastor, will you form a team?"

Moody looked around the table. I saw his eyes land on me and knew we both remembered what happened in Oxford. He moved on. "Since Marlene has family there, they might have seen something. McKinnons, Bones, and the Longbottoms. We'll be conspicuous enough with me and Bones there."

Dumbledore nodded. "Very well. Other announcements, we would like to welcome the return of Miss Drummond." A few claps went up around the table from those who knew me, and Alice patted me on the back, leaving a hand on my shoulder. "And the addition of Rubeus Hagrid to the Order."

"Hagrid?" I whispered to Lily. I remembered the name, but barely.

"He was expelled from Hogwarts a long time ago," Lily said. "Half-Giant down there. Affinity for magical creatures"

Claps welcomed Hagrid to the Order. I turned back to Dumbledore, who moved on.

"Assignments," he said. "Prewett Brothers, Potter, Black, and Pettigrew, the five of you will be in London for the next two weeks. There have been reports of dark activity, unexplained muggle deaths, and the like in Chiswick. Identify the source of the reports and the cause. Stop them if you can."

The boys grinned at each other, anticipation of adventure clear on their faces.

"Evans, you and Hagrid will be working together on the sixth. We will all three be securing the grounds of Hogwarts and investigating reports from Hogsmeade about some creature lurking in the Forbidden Forest."

I was hit by deja-vu at the words and grinned to see Lily's cheeks tinge pink. _Dumbledore knew. Dumbledore always knows everything; why am I even surprised?_

"Drummond, Lupin, in the last week of August, you will report to Hogwarts. We need active hands on the grounds to keep the school safe. There won't be any more incidents like what happened in your sixth year. Can you stay for the semester?"

It was a choice? Going back to Hogwarts, being in close proximity to Dumbledore every day- it was everything I hadn't thought to get to do again. My time at Hogwarts had been the best part of my life so far; all of the adventures and quidditch games and great feasts and everything had made life feel worth living. I met Remus's dark blue eyes and saw my own excitement reflected there.

"Of course," I answered.

"Definitely," Remus answered.

"Good," Dumbledore said. "That's all for this meeting. We'll convene again September 4th, at the Potters'."

He nodded at James, indicating it was pre-discussed.

"Farewell. Try not to abuse the Prewetts'- or their sister's- hospitality."

He walked off, and the meeting dispersed. I said my goodbyes to Alice and Frank and made my way over to the Marauders and Lily.

"Two weeks for me, half a year for you," Sirius greeted me, laying a hand on my back and snaking it around to my side so he could pull me closer. He touched his lips to my hair, leaning into it for a heartbeat. "I'm going to miss you."

I smiled at him. "You can visit during every Hogsmeade visit."

"Hogsmeade," Remus gasped, as if it were the first time he'd thought of it. "Honeyduke's will be right there- _Oh, Merlin."_

"Oh, no," James sighed. "He's going to come back fat. Where's Dumbledore? I think we need to reassign Remus."

"All the chocolate I could want," Remus went on, his voice hushed and his dark blue eyes bright. "All of it, right there."

"You know, I think this might be the happiest I've ever seen Remus," I noted, and Remus grinned.

"Probably, yes."

 **xxx**

"Suppose Hazel needs to know how to make the potion."

The Potters' living room had been quiet until James broke the near-silence. I had been resting against Sirius's chest while he idly played with my hair; Remus had been reading a book on the theory of chocolate's effect on the brain; Peter had been eating a block of cheese while doodling on a piece of paper; and James had been flipping disinterestedly through the Daily Prophet. Lily was somewhere upstairs, taking a bath I think, as we idled in the living room letting dinner settle in our bellies.

Remus, Sirius, Peter, and I all looked up. Remus cocked an eyebrow. "For me?"

"Yes," James said, tossing the Daily Prophet aside. "She needs to know. There's a full moon in three days; we'll give her the recipe, she can brew it with us, and she can come with us on the next full moon."

"James, no," Remus protested, exactly as Sirius said, "Not happening."

"Look, guys," James said, "We can't just apparate to the grounds every month. That'll quickly draw suspicion and you know word will get out if parents discover a werewolf's on the grounds. Same reason we kept it hidden before. Hazel _is_ an animagus, meaning he should be alright as long as he has her and the potion- and she should be alright, too."

"'Should be' isn't a guarantee," Sirius muttered.

"She's never seen it," Remus said. "I'm nearly certain she'd offer to help, but I- I can't ask."

"You don't have to," I replied, sitting up. "He's right, Remus- it'll just be us at Hogwarts, for months. I need to know because you're going to need me."

"She's a _ferret,_ James," Sirius protested once more. "That's not the same as a stag or a dog."

"What about me?" Peter asked. "I'm a rat, and I've been able to help when you two were busy."

Sirius looked at his friend and stammered for a reply. When he couldn't find one, I said, "So it's settled, then."

"I can handle it myself-" Remus tried.

"You don't have to," James said. With a quiet nod, Remus finally accepted, and Sirius, reluctant, had to concede. Before the silence could broil much longer, Lily came downstairs, and before long I excused myself to leave. Sirius offered to come with, but I needed some alone time. I had something I needed to do. He said he'd be over within the hour and I kissed him goodbye, a new habit I implemented every time I left anywhere, and then left.

I reached our cottage and found parchment and quill, thinking with remorse of the Marauders' papers that I'd likely never see again, and started to write.

 _31 August 1978_

 _Cassiopeia Dale Diggory:_

 _I am writing to inform you that I will continue to hold the position of godmother for Cedric Diggory. However, this will be purely a legal matter; in the event that his primary caretakers perish, I will accept guardianship of Cedric. I hold no interest in any associated money or property. My concern is the child._

 _You were once my best friend. I now cannot see you as such. Your betrayal would have better resulted in my death than the fate I suffered. Perhaps someday after the war I can talk to you again, should I survive. I understand your decision, but I cannot forgive you for it._

 _Regards,_

 _Hazel Drummond_

I folded the letter into an envelope, sealed it, and sent it off with Archibald. Standing on the front porch and watching the owl disappear, I felt a hollow ache in my chest. That letter was necessity, but brought no pleasure.

I stayed out there a while, watching the stars, until Sirius came along and wrapped his arms around me, and then Remus came along and sat on the porch. The three of us stared out into the night, feeling hollow inside, but less so for having each other.

 **XXXXX**

 **A/N:** And thus begins the next branch of adventure- _Return to Hogwarts._ We all saw the kind of trouble Hazel can get into at Hogwarts, but if it's just her and Remus, it won't be that bad... Riiiight? And we'd have to see at least a couple of new professors, since the DADA professor changes each year, and the divination professor is dead.

And how about that letter to Cassi? Could you imagine letting go of your best friend like that?

~Leave your thoughts in the reviews!


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

The night grew dusky and dark gray-blue, a haze of fog over the untamed landscape around the Shrieking Shack. I cast my eyes around the small ramshackle building and folded my arms. There was a distinctly creepy feeling here; whether that was related to the claw-marks and dust or more to do with the hollow abandoned feeling in the place, I wasn't sure, but it was unshakable.

I took a deep breath, and looked at the four Marauders. James glanced around the shack. "So… This is it. Ever sneak in here?"

"Once," I answered. "Fourth year, at the height of my adventurous phase- well, aside from sixth, but you all know that. I snuck in here one night to see what it was like."

"One night?" Sirius repeated. "How'd you sneak out? We had absolute trouble with that."

"Ferret, remember? I just had to sneak out at the right time."

Sirius and James both nodded, looking impressed. Remus looked a little ill, and Peter just looked nervous.

"So what happens if the 'wolf' rejects her?" Remus asked. Sirius and James glanced at each other.

"That's up to us, then," Sirius said, fiddling with the corner of his leather jacket, and glancing between James and me. "Should the wolf reject her, I'll distract him and James can get her out."

Remus gave a grim nod, and James assented to Sirius's plan.

"Not much longer now," Remus said with a shudder, glancing at the sky. I felt my heart pounding heavily, and Peter, surprisingly, came over and put a hand on my arm.

"Don't show any fear," he said. "You have to stay totally calm. If the wolf detects fear, it could go very, very badly."

I glanced at him, taking a deep breath. "Why do you lot refer to him as 'the wolf'?"

"It's not Remus in there when he turns," Peter said. "He keeps his mind a bit with the help of the potion, but… You know how when you're shifted into your animagus form you've got these quiet animal instincts?"

I nodded.

"Imagine them amplified by about a hundred. That's the wolf. With the potion, there's a bit of Remus buried under there, but the instincts are still much stronger. He can distantly recognize these creatures want to help him and pose no threat, but it's… It's complicated for him."

I nodded again and took another deep breath, steadying myself. "Okay. I think I understand."

"We have minutes left," Remus fretted, wringing his hands. "Hazel, are you sure about this? Now's the time to leave if- if you're going to." He swallowed heavily. "I won't be mad, I swear. I'll understand c-completely- I- I- I promise-"

"Remus, Remus," I said, feeling an overwhelming calm in the face of my anxiety. I put my hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes. "It's okay. Whatever happens, it's okay. We _have_ to test it and see if I can help you. For months, it'll just be us at Hogwarts each full moon. I'm here for you, Remus. And if you're stressed, then I'll be stressed, and- and the wolf will be stressed." My heart was pounding though I tried to calm it. "So you have to stay calm, and I will. Look, there's no threat here- James and Sirius will make sure of that. It's all going to be alright."

He took another breath, and then yanked me into a hug. I could feel his shallow breathing against my ear, and his long arms encircled me, feeling like the hug was for his comfort. I whispered again, "It's going to be alright."

"I sure hope so." He took a deep breath and stepped back. "Okay. It's- it's time, I can feel it. Sirius? James? Peter? Make sure she knows what to do. I'm- I'm going upstairs."

He turned and walked away, and I turned to the others, swallowing heavily.

"Wait for our signal," James said, and shifted to a stag.

"If it goes badly, there's a hole I've used just under the stairs, escape through that," Peter added, and then disappeared into his clothing. A moment later, a rat crawled out, and followed a stag up the stairs.

Sirius stopped in front of me and wrapped me in a close hug, holding me to him. I hugged him back, smelling the leather of his jacket, and breathed deeply.

"It'll be alright, love," Sirius murmured softly, keeping me in his embrace. "I'll go up there and when he's shifted and calmer I'll come down the stairs and beckon you. Till then, stay down here. When we shift back, I'll get the boys upstairs so you can get dressed. I love you, Hazel." He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "Thank you for being so good to Remus. It means a lot to all of us."

He leaned back and kissed me slowly, romantically, and then pulled back and smiled. He raised his eyebrows, grey eyes glinting. "Suppose this is it."

He shifted into a dog, and I smiled at him. "Love you too, darling."

He headed upstairs as I kicked all of their clothes to the side, out of the way. I had just shifted into my ferret form when he came down.

The wolf came prowling down the stairs, an elongated contorted version of Remus, with the same scars and dark blue eyes, looking ready to kill. I quivered lightly and tried to force myself to stay calm. _Calm. Calm._ Every instinct in me screamed to dash through the hole as the wolf slunk closer, a low growl emitting from its throat.

None of this was according to plan. Where were James and Sirius? Why weren't they here?

As the wolf reached me, I saw a quiet black dog come padding down the stairs. The wolf turned to glare at Sirius, growling louder, and Sirius froze, his hair on end.

 _Sirius won't let anything happen to you; don't be afraid._ I tried to keep calm, but there were fangs glaring at my face and I couldn't stop myself from trembling.

Then his eyes locked onto mine, and the tension passed. Dark blue irises met hazel brown, and then he touched his nose between my ears and turned and prowled to the corner of the hut, collapsing with his snout on his paws. Padfoot crept downstairs and touched his nose to the top of my head as the wolf had done, and then crept to it and laid down next to it. Then came Wormtail, then Prongs' hooves clomping down the stairs. The wolf watched the stag approach, and then they touched noses, the wolf snarling just so before the stag curled up beside it.

I met James's stag eyes and he nodded slightly, which meant a more drastic movement of his antlers, and I crept slowly over. The wolf watched me the whole way. Deep down, I was terrified, but I kept my breathing steady and my heart-rate as slow as possible. I stopped in front of the wolf as all three of our companions watched warily. Sirius reached over and licked the wolf's flank, and it whirled its head around with a snarl. He flattened his ears and lowered its head, and it turned back to me.

The wolf suddenly swiped out a paw and caught me. I saw James and Sirius's heads both lurch up at the movement as the wolf rolled me under his paw. I froze, flanks quivering with shallow breath, and then the wolf laid his head down on the wooden floorboards and lay there blinking with me in his grasp.

I focused on steadying my breathing, and the night grew still again, with unspoken tension in the air and a heavy werewolf paw holding me in place.

 **XXX**

Gray dawn light broke through the grime-coated dusty windows of the Shrieking Shack, the light steadily shifting from the moon's to the sun's.

Finally, Remus- the wolf- rose to his feet and prowled out of the shack. I sat up, my back aching from the heavy paw, and was thankful ferrets could make no sound of horror as I heard Remus shifting back. Groans and cries of pain came from outside, shocked and stuttered, until they ended with one final shout.

"Hazel?"

I jumped at the voice and turned around to see Sirius, naked as the dawn, staring at me.

"Can you turn away while we shift back and dress?"

I nodded and scurried further into the corner, keeping my eyes closed. _I really don't want to see James Potter naked. And especially not Peter._ I was vaguely uncomfortable with the realization I'd rather see James naked than Peter, but I'd really rather see none of the other three Marauders naked. I'd seen James in boxers, same with Remus, that was just part of the package when you lived with someone for any length of time. Perhaps that was why I placed Peter last.

 _Bad thoughts, bad thoughts, shut up, brain! It's been too long of a night._

Clothes shifted behind me and in the time I'd gotten my mind back to an appropriate place it seemed the Marauders were dressed.

"We'll go get Remus and bring him his clothes," James said. "You stay here with Hazel and check on her. Last night was tame, but… She might need to talk."

The door to the shack opened and closed, and then I left the corner. Sirius was back in his black jeans, black leather jacket, and gray t-shirt, eyeing me warily.

"Hazel, it's safe to shift back now."

But I kind of didn't want to be naked in the Shrieking Shack alone with my boyfriend. I headed to the corner where my clothes were and thanked the heavens Sirius averted his eyes. I shifted back and emitted a groan of my own as my back stretched back out. I pulled on underwear, pants, and bra, and then glanced over my shoulder at my back. Most of the tan skin was now a stormy purple-blue, bruises along the middle of it, and my ribs felt tight when I took a deep breath. _Damn._

I had just finished buttoning my shirt when Sirius came over to me and placed his hands on my waist, sliding them back to lock his fingers behind his back.

"Are you alright, darling?" He asked, tone soft but his cinder eyes scrutinizing.

I took a breath and nodded. "Yes, I'm alright. It… It was fearful, for a while, but he seemed somewhat in control. I'm just glad the wolf accepted me."

"A little too well, almost," Sirius said, glancing at the door. "But it's better than the alternative. Kind of weird how he just grabbed you like that, isn't it?"

He chuckled and I forced a smile. "A little. But mostly I'm just exhausted."

Sirius pressed his lips to mine, and I lost myself briefly in the kiss, breathing in his scent and tasting his supple lips. He withdrew from the kiss and rested his forehead on mine. "I'm mostly just relieved. I was terrified last night. When he got past us down the stairs, I thought for sure… Well. You came out unscathed. I'm happy."

I smiled and kissed him lightly. "Me, too."

The door to the shack opened once more, and the other three Marauders came in. Sirius and I turned to face them and the dog-shifter wrapped an arm around my side. I winced slightly as he put pressure on the bruises, but it wasn't awful.

Remus looked pale and terrified. His face looked drained of all blood and he had deep bags under his eyes, and his expression was saturated with fear as our eyes met. "Hazel?"

"Hi, Remus," I said, and realized upon seeing him now that the previous night had been a somewhat intimate experience. I had seen him at his worst- not his most vulnerable by any means, but his worst- and his most savage form had accepted me. Helping him through that night was something that would be a defining milestone in our friendship.

He took a deep breath, apprehensive, and then swallowed heavily. "Are you- I mean, are you alright? I don't really remember much of my time as the wolf; it's like looking through fogged glasses."

"You sort of, um… Scooped me up under your paw and kept me there all night and laid in the corner of the shack." I shrugged lightly. "So I suppose we're fine."

His cheeks tinged pink. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine," I assured him. "It went well, I think. I'm just ready to get some sleep."

"Aren't we all," Remus asked rhetorically, a grim smile curving his lips. He eyed Sirius. "Shall we, then?"

"Yes, definitely," Sirius answered, trying to stifle a yawn and failing.

"James, Peter, thank you both," Remus said, giving them both hugs and flinching as he did. He walked over and I eyed him.

"Remus, are you alright?"

"Muscle soreness, bone pain, just need to stretch a bit and sleep," he answered. I nodded.

"I feel that."

He glanced at me. "And you came to no harm last night?"

My mind flashed to the bruises on my back. "None."

 **XXX**

My room was indescribable comfort after the long night. Sirius closed the door as I kicked off my boots at the end of our bed, observing the bits of mess on the floor and tables. _We need to clean soon,_ I thought as I began to remove my pants.

"Thank you for tonight," Sirius said, yawning. "He was calmer than usual, relatively tame night. That's good for getting him to accept you." Sirius was also undressing as he spoke; he tossed his jeans to the hamper as he grabbed a pair of pajama pants. I sat down to brush out my hair as he continued. "The wolf observes other creatures and differentiates which ones can be part of the 'pack,' so to say. Animagi work best because it senses a somewhat similar nature. If he accepted you tonight, you're part of the pack, meaning on more intense nights he'll accept you still."

Sirius borrowed my brush as I traded my button-down for a camisole out of his sight and sat on the bed, one leg tucked up against the other. Sirius continued, "I'll warn you, it gets worse. There are nights he's almost entirely savage, his mind nearly gone, nights when he'll attack me and Prongs if we get close, throw Wormtail aside, and go hunting for creatures in the forest. We follow from a distance to make sure he's not hurt, but he's hostile if he sees us." Sirius moved around to sit next to me on his side of the bed, closer to the door. "Really, Hazel, that you risked that- it means a _lot."_

I smiled over at him, tucking my hair over one shoulder. "Of course. Remus is one of my closest friends these days; it only makes sense that I would help him."

Sirius leaned over and kissed me, and kept his lips on mine long enough to ease me down against the mattress. Our lips moved together and a sudden passion ignited in him, his kisses coming with more vigor, more earnest. He rolled partially on top of me and I felt my chest flutter despite the surprise. His free hand, the one not propping him up, wrapped around my side and lifted me up, arching my back to him. I gasped as pain flared through my back, and on impulse smacked a hand against his chest.

Sirius froze and drew back, staring at me with wide eyes. "What? What is it?"

"My back," I hissed, and he lowered me down and removed his hand, watching me warily.

"Hazel, sit up."

I shook my head. "It's fine, it's fine, just- when we're snogging, maybe don't… Do that for a few days."

"Hazel. Love, come here."

I sighed, giving in, and he took my hands, having me sit up. I felt the tension in my ribs again and gritted my teeth to keep from making any sound of pain. My whole torso felt stiff, and my back was growing more sore by the minute.

Sirius clambered around behind me and lifted my camisole, and I heard his gasp. I dropped my head, looking down at my hands drawing the blanket into my fists.

"Hazel, why didn't you say anything!?" Sirius exclaimed quietly, his thumb brushing over my back. My skin prickled and I coughed lightly.

"I just… I didn't want Remus to feel bad. It was his first night and we all agreed it went well. Remember the five years I spent as Ravenclaw's beater? I'm used to having a handful of bruises, especially on my back."

"Hazel, these aren't hit-with-a-bludger bruises, and if you recall I would know," he replied, still holding my shirt up. He sighed and lowered it, and snaked his arms around my waist, leaning lightly against my back. He pressed a kiss to the back of my neck, and began to trail them along my shoulders. "You don't always have to hide your pain, you know."

The words struck a chord somewhere within and I had sudden flashbacks to other bruises- darker bruises, with more painful sources. I took a breath. "Sirius… On an unrelated note, can I talk to you about something?"

It was time I said something. He was right: I _didn't_ have to hide my pain. We always treated Remus like the one allowed to be in pain, allowed to suffer. James tried to act strong and conceal his grief over losing Fleamont. Sirius acted so stoic about Regulus and his cousins. Peter didn't talk much, but I had seen more than once how downcast he looked when returning from visiting his muggle family. And I of all people had my reasons to be hurting.

"What is it, love?"

I reclined against Sirius's warm, bare chest, feeling his heartbeat dimly against my back. "I get these flashbacks sometimes. A lot of the time, actually. I did before… The spring." I sighed. "I can't even call it what it was. Before I was 'taken,' or captured, or-" I cut off and cleared my throat, stifling a shudder. "Anyway. I'm not bothered a bit by some bruises on my back. It's sore, sure, but it's a week and then it's healed. It could've been so much worse. The wolf accepted me, and that matters more than some bruises. It means I can help Remus any time the Marauders aren't there. What bothers me…"

I trailed off, trying to gather my thoughts, and his hands came up to lightly grip my shoulders, his thumbs massaging the back of my neck. My eyes closed in serenity, enjoying the feeling, just gentle enough not to hurt after the tense night.

"What bothers me is the flashbacks."

His massaging paused, and then a kiss was pressed to the back of my neck, but he didn't speak. I tried to pretend my eyes weren't watering, but I heard the difference in my voice as my throat tightened.

"I saw those bruises and I- I had a flashback to when I got back in May. It was like I was hobbling behind backyards again, like I was making that glance into the mirror to see my swollen eye and purple jaw again. And that- that leads to much worse. Sirius… I told you when I got back that I would never say who all tortured me, and I stand by that. But the things I witnessed there-"

"Was it Regulus?"

He was still behind me, but he had gone entirely still, his hands loosely on my shoulders. I froze. "Sirius… I can't answer that."

"Then it was."

His voice was taut with anger and we were quickly getting off-topic. "Look, I just- I don't want to talk about it. He had the choice to do that or die; Bellatrix put him up before all the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord himself. If he had said no, it would have been his death. I gave him permission as subtly as I could."

Sirius still hadn't moved.

"Sirius, please- don't be mad. They seemed to have sorted out he'd helped me before. Bellatrix was forcing him to prove his loyalty. It was his only option."

"Hazel- that's horrible. You saw my brother look you in the eyes and _torture you._ My brother."

"I saw much worse," I said, and took a risk: "One of the men who tortured me later died to stop me from dying."

"Harley!?"

"He also didn't have a choice. It was like- like they took everyone who had ever potentially helped me or any of the Order, and they forced them to prove their loyalty. When I saw these bruises, I saw Bellatrix cutting open my skin. I saw these scars on my arm when they were fresh and bleeding. I saw that night in the snow, running from the train. That day with the lethifolds- when I thought I was going to lose you… I saw all the horrors I've been through. And it's these vivid flashbacks that hit me, and I get them almost entirely at random. And the nightmares. And-" I cut off and sighed. "I don't know why I'm telling you. I just… I wanted someone to know. There's so much going on in my head."

He relaxed from his frozen stance, and his arms snaked around my waist, holding me to him. "I know, Hazel. We all get the flashbacks; we just don't talk about it much. James used to get them all the time."

"Really? Why?"

Sirius sighed. "He's been through his own things, Hazel. A lot of it his own fault, and tinged with just enough adventure to not be entirely traumatizing. But… We've had our own near-death experiences. Remus more than any of us, and he's understandably traumatized as bad as you are- flashbacks and nightmares and anxious periods and insomnia. Much like you, darling. James has watched all of us nearly die, and he's faced Voldemort twice now. Since he's been with Lily, he's fared a bit better, but we all face it. I'm not trying to undermine your trauma, sweetheart- I'm just making sure you know we all understand, to some extent, and we're here."

I snuggled closer to him, or tried to, and laid my head sideways against his chest, my eyes to our window, watching the pattern of tree shadows dance against the glass.

"Thank you, Sirius." I took a breath. "I knew you four had been through some things, but…" I felt lighter, and closed my eyes, speaking from that new weightlessness. "Thank you. You're right that it feels better not to feel alone in it, to know someone else is going through the same thing. You'll always be the most important person to me, Sirius, and you're the love of my life. The rest of your little group have become like family to me as well, and while I'd hate to think they feel this same trauma, it's also nice to know it's a shared experience."

He hummed quietly, the sound resonating through his chest. My exhaustion was kicking in and I was nearly asleep against his chest. "Brought together by love, kept together by shared pain and experiences. I love you, my sweet witch Hazel."

"I love you, too, my darling dog star."

And the warm embrace of sleep took me, calmed as I was, soothed by Sirius's breathing, my new weightlessness in not being alone in my flashbacks and nightmares, having someone know a couple of names I'd been holding in, and knowing the wolf had accepted me.

I resigned as I began to fall asleep to the fact I'd someday have to tell someone everything I'd been through. It would bring me a new lightness, I knew, and I needed to release some of the darkness I'd been holding in. With how well the previous night had gone, I was feeling somewhat buoyant- though perhaps it was due to the sleeplessness.

Barely awake, I shifted around and wrapped my arms around Sirius, laying my head on his chest. He began idly playing with my hair, and then sleep stole me away.

* * *

 **A/N:** A bit of a longer chapter, thus the wait. God, this was _hell_ to write- Remus's werewolf form isn't discussed much, so writing out what happens was difficult. (If it's a little inaccurate, I'm sorry for that, did the best I could.) Pulled a bit from different fics I've written that actually discuss the change and how the Marauders interact with the wolf. And then there was the post-werewolf discussion portion of the chapter, which covered a few serious topics. (ha. haha. i'm so tired of not being able to use that word, lmao.)

And hey! We're at 40 reviews! Thank you guys so much for that, you're extraordinary, and I so appreciate it.

 _Also_ I went ahead and made a tumblr for this book, just for writing ramblings and character aesthetics and such. The URL for it is blackdogsgreentrees. There's not much on there yet, but we still have the rest of this book to write and the next one, so it'll get done.

Anyhow. Thanks for reading, lovelies! Don't forget to follow/fave/review!3


	34. Chapter Thirty-Four

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

I woke in early afternoon and stretched out, my whole body feeling tense. I had a weird moment as I woke, entangled with Sirius, that it felt like that last morning back in February again. Shaking the thoughts away like cobwebs, I disentangled from Sirius and got up. A glance out the window at the sun showed it was after noon but not by far.

With a few swishes of my wand, I accomplished the cleaning I'd wanted to do in the morning, and then dressed quickly, freshened up in the bathroom, and headed to the kitchen. The last time I'd visited Lily we'd discussed some cooking spells, and it felt like as good a morning as any.

I got the ingredients out of the fridge and set them out, and then tried to remember the spell. As I did, a yawning Remus came in still in his pajamas. He glanced at me and then collapsed in an armchair.

"Good morning, Hazel," he said tiredly as I folded my arms and tried to remember the spell.

"Good morning," I replied."Sleep well?"

"Got a horrible muscle in my back that locked up, been trying to stretch it out all day. Finally gave up on sleep because of it."

"I'm sor- oh, that was it!" I cast the spell and the food started mixing itself. "Sorry, I've been trying to remember what spell to use. Anyhow. You should ask Sirius to rub your back, he did mine this morning and it felt loads better."

"Was your back hurt last night?"

"What?" I glanced at him, and then swished my wand at the food so it moved to the next step. "Oh. It was just a little sore."

"Sorry."

"No problem." I cleared my throat. "So… Now that you've rested some. Do you think last night was a success?"

"As successful as it could've been," Remus answered, his dark blue eyes opening. "Thank you, Hazel. I was nervous, incredibly so, but you were right- it needed to happen so we'd know."

I nodded. "Good. Hungry at all?"

"What?"

I glanced at him as the food started to finish. "I'm making breakfast."

"Oh. Er, sure. Is Sirius up yet?"

"No. I thought I'd let him sleep as long as he needed, but my stomach wouldn't let me do the same."

Remus let out a soft, tired laugh. "I understand that."

We chatted idly as I finished cooking, and by the time I was done, Sirius had come stumbling from the hall as well, yawning and running a hand through his mussed up hair. We sat and ate, talking about the previous night, and then headed over to the Potters, for second breakfast.

It only took half an hour for something else to stir up.

"Hazel?"

I glanced up from my book. It was another lazy morning at the Potters', abusing Lily's cooking skills, and I'd stepped out back to enjoy the morning sunlight and read one of the books I hadn't yet gotten to from Christmas. "Yes, Lily?"

"I- I have to ask a favor."

She was stretching her fingers and toying too much with her hair, and I folded my book closed, holding my place with my finger. "What is it? You know I'll do whatever you need, Lily."

"I… It's a muggle thing." She sighed heavily, looking down, and then glanced back up. "You know James has no siblings, and by now he and I both are orphans. Now that things have quieted down some… I'd like to go visit my sister, Petunia. But- she- well."

"I remember." I sat up a bit more. "You told me back in sixth year, feels like forever ago, that she thought you were a freak."

Lily smiled sadly and nodded, still nervous. "Yes, that's correct. I… I've tried reaching out to her, but she refuses to reply to my owls! Or muggle post, or- or anything. But it's been over a year since our parents died, and I've barely seen her since leaving Hogwarts. She's going to some muggle uni, and staying with our Aunt Beatrice. She _must_ be miserable and I feel like I have to go check on her. And… And I want to invite her to my wedding. But I'm terrified to go alone, in case she rejects me."

At this, I shifted so that my bookmark was between the pages, and then stood and put a hand on her shoulder. "Lily, of course I'll go with you."

"I'd've asked James, or maybe Remus, but… I said in May that you're like a sister to me, Hazel, and honestly, you are. You've been more of a sister than Petunia. And if she rejects me… Well, you'll be more sensitive than James, and more understanding than Remus."

"You remember I have no siblings, either, right?" I felt my brow crease at the thought as I said, "Actually, I think Sirius is the only other one of our bunch with a sibling… And now I see your point." I smiled at Lily. "Yes, of course. When?"

"This afternoon…?"

"So soon!?"

She forced a grin. "I know, but, you and Remus leave in a week, and it's Sunday, so she won't be doing anything, and James and I would like to be married before you leave. So… Last minute invitations must be done soon."

"Quite soon, apparently." I sighed. "Very well; let me, um… Do you have coffee? I think I'll need some for this."

We started back toward the house as she said, "Oh, yes, definitely. I already brewed a pot, actually."

"Excellent." I sighed, shaking my head. "Just excellent. So, how are plans coming for the wedding?"

 **~X~**

Stopping by Lily's Aunt Beatrice's house proved to be of no avail, but a great waste of time. It took a solid hour to get Lily out of her aunt's grip; to my fortune, that hour at least included some teacakes and milk, so I snacked while Lily tried to excuse herself and make her escape.

An hour after we entered the east London village where Petunia supposedly lived, we finally found the girl- at a diner with a hefty dark-haired man, who laughed heartily while she forcefully giggled. I stifled a sarcastic comment, and Lily squared her shoulders and started forward, with me at her side as her tall blonde shadow. The girl's red hair seemed to flare as she crossed the diner, quite a spectacle judging from the looks cast her way- and then Petunia saw her.

Petunia Evans was pale of skin and hair, gaunt, and looked half-fearful and half-scornful to see Lily. She leapt up from the table; she was petite like Lily, but with bone-thin arms and a long neck. The man she was with stared up at her and glanced at Lily, and then glanced at his biscuits, and back at Lily and Petunia.

"Vernon, we're leaving," Petunia declared.

"But…" the man floundered, sending a longing gaze to his biscuits.

"No, please, stay," Lily begged, and the man, Vernon, began to quickly gobble down his biscuits.

Petunia glared and Lily came to a stop a meter away, and I stopped just behind her, arms folded as I watched the exchange.

"What are you doing here?" Petunia demanded.

"I want to invite you to my wedding!" Lily blurted.

Petunia folded her arms. "What makes you think I'd want to go?"

"Here, please- Petunia, just… Take the invitation."

Lily extended a piece of paper, and I glanced at it, suppressing my own thoughts. _She never gave me a formal invitation! What if I'd wanted to make a scrapbook? Or a photo album? It would've been a nice touch, at least._ Now was not the time for such thoughts.

"We cordially invite you to the joining ceremony of James Fleamont Potter and Lily Jane Evans. The ceremony will take place blah-blah, at blah-blah-blah." Petunia looked up at Lily. "I'd like to say I appreciate your invitation, but I'll not be going."

"Petunia, come on," Lily pleaded. "It's been _years._ We used to be _so_ close!" I felt a stab of pity, listening to her, and a protective part of me wanted to snatch up the redhead and tote her away from her vile sister. "Please, Petunia. Just do this one thing for me. You- you don't have to be maid of honor, or a bridesmaid, or anything."

"Who _is_ your maid of honor?"

"Not now, Hazel."

"Sorry."

Petunia stared for a moment, and huffed. She twitched up a shoulder, averting her gaze. "I _might_ go. Guess you'll have to wait and see."

"It would mean the _world_ to me, Petunia." Lily's voice fell soft. "We've lost a lot, and I just- I want family there."

"Well, we haven't got that, do we?"

"We've got each other."

Petunia was wilting slightly. "I might, Lily. That's the best I can do."

Lily nodded and turned toward me enough that her sister couldn't see her face. "Let's go, Hazel."

We started for the door, and just as Lily reached it, I paused. I'd never been one to back down from a challenge- and that's all Petunia Evans was: challenging.

"Lily?"

She glanced back at me. "What?"

"Please forgive me."

I stormed back across the diner to the booths at the opposite wall and slammed my hands on the table, staring hard into the eyes of Petunia Evans. "Now listen here, you little twit! You're going to go to my best friend's wedding no matter how 'freaky' you may think her to be! Lily is the sweetest and most soft-hearted girl I know and I won't see her abused in this way! Now, you'll- you'll be there or I'll give your firstborn child a pig tail!"

Petunia went twelve shades paler and I whirled around and crossed the restaurant. Lily gaped at me from the doorway and I looped my arm through hers and walked out.

"I _knew_ I still had spark," I said, and strode grinning down the streets.

 **~X~**

Sirius cackled to hear of how I treated Petunia, and James congratulated me.

"I have _no_ idea how you ended up in Ravenclaw," Sirius laughed. "That's the most Gryffindor thing I've ever heard!"

"I'm proud," I admitted, grinning.

"And it's the boldest thing you've done since the spring," Remus added. "Well, aside from last night."

I smiled, breathing evenly, despite my still-bruised back. "I feel almost like my old self after today."

"I still wish you could've done it a little more nicely," Lily protested, as she set down a tray of muffins on the table. The Marauders and I all reached to snatch one at the same moment, and she gaped down at the tray, now half empty. "I _just_ set that down! Mongrels, the lot of you!"

"Just Sirius and Remus," James said, grinning. Lily sighed and grabbed a muffin of her own, perching on the arm of the chair her fiance sat in.

" _They_ at least have an excuse," Lily replied. "For you, it's just personality." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Really, though, Hazel. Again. Thank you."

"Lily," I laughed. "That's the sixth time, you know that, right? If you really want to thank me, you could at least invite me to your wedding."

"What?" Lily glanced at her fiance. "Hazel, of course you're invited!"

"Well, _I_ never received a fancy invitation. I'm just saying, I feel like I deserve one."

Lily sighed and rolled her eyes. "That's it, I'm going to bed."

"You're not going to invite your non-blood sister to our wedding, love?"

The red-haired girl started up the stairs. "James, she's gotten as bad as you!"

"It's a matter of exposure; don't worry, darling, you'll get there!"

"I don't want to!"

I shrugged, calling to her, "I just want an invitation- that's all!"

 **XXXXX**

 **A/N:** so tonight I learned Google Drive and Kingsoft Writer have different indents and that's why it looks weird when I back up my files on drive. weird.

Anywho. Here's a nice, somewhat fluffier chapter, guest-starring none other than Petunia Evans, later Petunia Dursley! Don't you just _love her._ (I don't.) Side-note, I forgot as I wrote this that what I call "cookies" are called "biscuits" by Brits. (For any readers that don't know, I'm American, so piecing together 1970s British slang has probably been the most difficult part of writing this, tbh.) So when Vernon was eating his biscuits, I was picturing fluffy doughy golden goodness, and then during the grammar-check proof-read I was reminded of what "biscuits" are in the U.K. Language is weird. To any of you for whom English isn't your first language, _you're amazing,_ you got that? I struggle learning French because I realized I have an easier time with Canadian French than Parisian, when for years I didn't even know there was a difference (and I should've I mean c'mon I'm in _America,_ the land of "we had a perfectly good language and changed it so we wouldn't be like our mother country", we should be well aware other countries have subtle differences too). I know one of the people who read this are Indian and another is Swedish, shout-out to Bamse, English isn't your first language but you can write in it and that's baffling (and your fic is pretty good, I need to catch up on it though).

~Side Note for like the fourth time~

I started a next-gen fic that I haven't posted anywhere because I don't know if it would interest anyone but me. It's about the daughter of Gilderoy Lockhart and the son of Dudley Dursley. Gilderoy, having forgotten magic, is utterly amazed when his daughter gets her Hogwarts letter. Dudley, living next door, is terrified. Their wives are kinda freaked. The kids? The kids are ecstatic. The story also discredits a lot of _The Cursed Child,_ to include what year James started school and what Harry does after Hogwarts. In this, James S. Potter is magically a year behind Teddy Lupin (Ginny got knocked up, alright?), and Aspen Lockhart and Ben Dursley are in the same year as James, and so is Victoire Weasley. It's largely a lot of the progressive Hogwarts headcanons- Slytherins known for being cunning, Ravenclaws that revolt against teachers who are inaccurate, parties in the Forbidden Forest, all that fun stuff. So if you've read through my rambling author's note this far, please leave a review indicating whether or not you'd find that interesting. I'll still be writing this, but a next-gen side adventure could be a lot of fun. (And basically all I'm taking from _The Cursed Child_ is that Albus and Scorpius are boyfriend by like fifth year, Harry was an auror for a little while, Hermione kicks ass in the Ministry, and Astoria Greengrass was the best influence Draco Malfoy could've ever asked for. Because really that's all that needs to be taken from TCC.)

I've been up a long time so I'm rambling but anyway here's Chapter 34 the next chapter will be SUPER suuuper ultra fluffy and then we'll get into the meaty Hogwarts bits so if you're here for cute Jily moments stick around because THEY ARE ON THE WAY.

also one more psa: I've been working slowly but surely on a super literary-ish fic called _The View From Up Here_ and it's basically the love story of Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass and how she helped him through his PTSD from Hogwarts years and made him into the kind of man that would raise Scorpius~~~ so if you're into slow-burn figurative-language-rich character-building love stories featuring your favorite bad guy and a background character he fell in love with, you should check it out (plus the cover is pretty)

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'll try and get the next up before September 5th(ish). Don't forget to review!~


	35. Chapter Thirty-Five

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

White gardenia petals accented copper curls just perfectly.

It came down to me, Yumi, Pandora, and Lily to complete her wedding look; fortunately, Pandora knew just the makeup for Lily's pale freckled skin, and Yumi brought her cousin from France to do Lily's hair. Lily had intended to wear her mother's wedding gown, but the thought had led to a fight with Petunia, and Lily had given up on that endeavor. It was painful to ask Lily why she didn't have any female friends who came along, and she said she'd lost touch with many, and never been particularly close to any. Snape had been her best friend for years, and they had lived in their own little world, with the Marauders occasionally butting in to try and steal Lily away. It seemed, now, that they had succeeded.

"Oh, she's lovely," Yumi murmured, while her cousin Adelaide put the finishing touches on Lily's hair. The blushing bride couldn't stop smiling and babbling about James; their love story had been recounted at least three times this morning, and I was teary-eyed still at hearing it again.

"She's beautiful," I agreed. "James is a lucky man."

"Still don't understand how he snagged that one," Yumi said, grinning, and I chuckled.

"He's not all bad, but she's definitely out of his league."

"So, Maid of Honor, are you ready to walk down the aisle with Sirius?"

I laughed lightly. "Only as Lily's Maid of Honor, with Sirius as the groom."

"She asked Remus to pass her off, didn't she? Since Petunia refused and they have no other family?"

"Right. He didn't think it was right at first, but they've been friends for years as well, so he agreed."

Yumi nodded, frowning slightly. "Poor girl- no family, except a ratty sister who hates her."

"Hm!"

We turned then to see Petunia stroll by outside the cracked door, and both of us started laughing.

A short while later, it was time. James and Lily would be living as an officially married couple, in the house where James' parents had lived, and would be getting married in their spacious backyard. It had been decorated with flowers and a trellis-style arch, and Remus and I had had an excellent time decorating the backyard and the house. Petunia, in an oddly generous contribution, had brought a boom-box for music. Pandora had baked the cake. Together, we'd all managed to bring together a decent wedding.

I'd had the idea that when it came time for Lily and James' wedding, I would have Cassi at my side to help me with all the wedding things. Lily had still surprised me by asking me to be the maid of honor, but I was glad to help her with whatever she needed, and she wasn't any more demanding on her wedding day than any other. However, I wasn't any more experienced with these things than Lily was, and it was a struggle to get everything together, though we tried to make it the best we could.

Less than five minutes remained before the ceremony when Lily dismissed everyone else from her room, leaving only the two of us. She turned to me and I saw the first flare of panic in her green eyes.

"Hazel, why don't you want this with Sirius? What's stopping you?"

"The war," I answered. "Sirius and I both are too involved in it. We try too hard and take too many risks. I know if I marry him, I'll want to settle down, and do everything else domestic that comes with it. So I'm waiting for all this fighting to end, and keeping myself available to fight until there's peace again. Then I'll settle down."

Her eyes were wide, coated in makeup. Adelaide had kept it mostly natural, but seeing Lily with makeup on was odd enough, considering the girl's natural face was divinely beautiful already. "Am I doing the right thing, Hazel?"

"The only thing wrong with this," I said, kneeling in front of her chair, "Is that they chose entirely the wrong color for your lips." I picked up a tissue and smudged off the most vibrant pigments of red lipstick, and grabbed a more natural pale rosy lipstick. "Other than that, this is entirely right for you."

"But you said yourself that it's not wise to get married during-"

"Only because I won't focus on my marriage if I get married right now," I interrupted, taking her hand. "It's going to work out, Lily. You're dedicated and kind and you deserve to have the happiness that would come with marrying James. You love him, with all your heart, and we all can see it. Getting married to him would be perfect for you. And it will be."

She took a deep breath, and I uncapped the lipstick. "Now, hold still. Red just isn't your color for lipstick."

I was almost done with the lipstick when Remus appeared at the door, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves. "Ready?"

He looked up, and I saw a great grin break across his face. "You look beautiful, Lily."

A blush spread across her cheeks beneath the creamy foundation. "Thank you, Remus."

I stood up, placing the lipstick back on the vanity table and smiled brightly at Lily. "She's ready."

"Excellent," Remus said, and I made my way downstairs. At the kitchen door, I approached Sirius, who wore a full suit and had tamed his curls.

"Don't you look dapper," I greeted him, kissing his cheek. He took in my flowy floral dress; Lily had instructed us to wear whatever we pleased, as long as we attempt to look formal. James had told his groomsmen to dress formally or not show up. Sirius smiled at me, however, and leaned in, kissing my forehead.

"And you look lovely," he murmured. "How's Lily?"

James, just in front of Sirius, turned at this, and I sighed happily. "She's wonderful. Lily's beautiful, and she's so happy. Remus just went up there to her."

"Still bitter she didn't ask me," Sirius grumbled, and I laughed.

"She and Remus were friends back when she still hated James. Can you really be surprised?"

Sirius shrugged. "Not surprised, just bitter."

I rolled my eyes, and then heard music outside. "Well, that's it, then- here we go!"

James made it to the end of the aisle; we had few quests, a few distant Potter relatives, my own mother, the Ravenclaw girls I'd brought and their grooms, Adelaide, a few Gryffindors they all knew, the Longbottoms, the Prewetts, and Molly Weasley. Andromeda Tonks was here as well, while Augusta Longbottom watched Nymphadora.

Peter and Petunia (who had consented to be a bridesmaid) walked along, and then Sirius and I reached the end of the aisle while the minister, also a wizard, played the wedding march with his wand. At the end, I parted ways, and then all the guests rose and turned to Lily.

She walked into the late afternoon sun, on a brilliantly clear day, and Remus walked her down the aisle with her small, pale hand around his arm. They reached the end and he kissed the top of her head before passing her off to James and sitting in one of the front seats.

The ceremony was beautiful.

They had written their own vows, the most delicate and lovely words two people could recite to each other, and then were pronounced husband and wife. Their first kiss as a married couple held purity and love, with the background of everyone clapping and Sirius whooping his congratulations.

From that day forward, Lily and James Potter would be the happiest married couple I knew.

 **XXX**

The reception was as beautiful as the ceremony. Twilight cast gold and blue across the Potters' backyard, and Petunia's boombox came in handy, playing slow jazzy tunes and upbeat dancing jigs alike. We twirled and waltzed and I danced with just about everyone. Yumi and Adonis gave Lily and James marriage advice, about communication and trust and making time for each other; Pandora and Xeno suggested more to do with keeping each other in their dreams.

Sirius cast me off to the dance floor around nine o'clock, by which time the sun's light only dimly lit the edge of the horizon, and the moon shone high overhead. Some slow, sappy song played on the radio, and all the couples paired up and danced slow and close. Sirius held me near to him and love sparkled in his cinder eyes, and for a moment it felt like the night so long ago, by the hazel tree on the shore of the Black Lake, when he and I had first kissed.

 _I want this with you someday._ The words hung between us, unspoken but palpable, and I saw it in his smile as he saw it in my blush.

"When I see occasions like this," Sirius said softly, "All I can think about is how much I want this with you. So much has happened in the past year and a half- I'm glad to have you at my side through it all. To think at one point we both stopped ourselves by thinking the other didn't want us."

I chuckled and leaned up on my toes, touching my lips to his. Butterflies fluttered in my chest, even after all this time, and part of me wanted to start snogging him right there; but we were at a wedding, and my mother was here, so I would keep it decent. I leaned back after only a few seconds, and smiled at him.

"I'm so grateful for you, Sirius. I'd do it all again to have you at the end of it all."

He kissed my forehead. "You're worth every trial that could stand between us." He chuckled lightly. "I'll never forget that time Bellatrix had me chained to a chair and you came bursting in, all fire and thunder, even though we hadn't seen each other in over a month."

I laughed as well. "You're worth it. I couldn't let her have you."

He frowned slightly. "I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you. It haunts me still."

The words weighed on my shoulders and I did my best to shrug them off, though I felt their burden in my chest still. "Don't let it; it's in the past now."

"You still dream about it."

"I think I always will. Waking up to you makes it much easier."

He smiled lightly at that, and we spent the rest of the dance in relative silence, commenting now and then on the different dancing styles of the couples. Xeno and Pandora were by far the most eccentric, making flowing motions with their arms and twirling around each other. Yumi and Adonis looked to be entirely enraptured in each other's gaze and hadn't said a word the whole time. Lily and James waltzed like professionals, with him occasionally dipping her or twirling her, and it was easy to tell when he made a stupid joke because she would laugh and lightly smack his shoulder. They both blushed and had sparkling eyes and their happiness radiated through all of us.

After the song ended, partners were traded. Sirius bowed before my mother and invited her to the dance floor; she smiled and happily obliged, and I worried slightly at what they would talk about. Then James approached me.

"Miss Drummond," he greeted me, bowing slightly himself and grinning, "May I have this dance?"

I rolled my eyes. "Weird to hear such formality from you."

"It's my wedding. This is a one-time thing." He lowered his voice. "Don't tell Lily, but it's weird for me, too."

I chuckled and took his hand, and we danced with considerable distance between us. He looked at me worriedly, seeing Lily dancing with Remus. "How am I doing? Am I alright so far?"

"James, it's _your_ wedding. I think the only two people who can gauge how you're doing are you and Lily."

"Petunia's scoffed at my every move," he said. "When we cut the cake earlier, and I hesitated, and Lily took the knife, though we all laughed about it, Petunia looked like I'd just offended her great grandmother or something."

"Petunia's a rotten apple in a healthy orchard," I told him. "And that's a stupid analogy but it works. My point is, everyone else here has talked only about how happy you two look, and how happy they are for you."

He sighed heavily. "I'm just- I'm just worried. I can't believe she even married me; I'm still not over the fact she _kissed_ me back in sixth year. It's just- it's mind-boggling. It feels too good to be true."

"Well, it is true," I said, smiling. "Just- treat her how you feel she deserves to be treated. You know, make her breakfast, try and be neat sometimes, meet her needs but also grant her what she wants. Feeding someone and cleaning for them is nice, but sometimes she's going to want her feet rubbed, or she'll have a craving for chocolate cake, or she'll want a certain book. Her needs are important, but she'll be happiest if her wants are met, too."

James nodded, twirled me, and then took a deep breath. "Thank you, Hazel. Do you- I mean, honestly, do you feel like I deserve her? Or am I just the luckiest damn fool in the world?"

I chuckled. "I don't know if anyone could deserve Lily, but with how much you love her and the way you'd do anything for her, I think you come close enough. You're a good man, James Potter, and that's never been easy for me to admit. But you know I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

He smiled. "Thanks, Hazel. So, when are we doing all this for you and Sirius?"

He wagged his eyebrows suggestively, and I rolled my eyes, chuckling. "Whenever the time is right, and it's not yet."

He lowered his voice, seeing Sirius and my mother dancing nearby, engaged in conversation. "You know, Sirius is ready whenever you are. When we were getting suits for this, we talked about it. He told me how you feel about it, and he understands, but he'd love to share this with you someday. We both agreed it was incredible we found the girls we knew we'd love so soon. He loves you, Hazel."

I smiled, but it was more forced. "And someday he'll be asking Lily if he deserves me and how to keep me happy, just as you've done tonight. But I'm too dedicated to the Order right now, and- and still coping. Nights like this make it easier, but it's still something to work through before I commit to something so intense."

"It might help, you know, to have something to focus on."

Another twirl, and I grinned as I came back. "Then give me a god-child. Perhaps don't make me their godmother, since I'm already Cedric's, but having a baby to fawn over is always fun."

He chuckled. "Believe me, having a child by Lily is something I've wanted for a long time. Or two, or three." He grinned. "Besides- think how much fun we could have with pregnant Lily."

"God, I'm having flashbacks to pregnant Cassi." I glanced at Lily, laughing as she was at something Remus had said. "Hopefully, she'll be a bit more… Amiable."

"Oh, God- I'd have to read up on pregnancy and learn how to raise a child." James paled, his hazel-brown eyes wide. "I've never even changed a diaper. Good God, this is awful."

"Better shape up, Father Potter."

He laughed there. "Now I sound like a priest."

The song had wound to an end, and he thanked me for the dance and stepped back. "Now, shall I tackle the bear, so to speak?"

I followed his gaze- Petunia. I patted his back. "Good luck with that one, mate. Think I'm going to snag Remus for a dance. Looks like Lily's gotten Sirius."

"Enjoy," James said, and I chuckled.

"More than you will, anyway."

I met Remus at the edge of the dance-floor and felt my stomach rumble. I raised my eyebrows at him. "I was going to ask for a dance, but come to think of it, a slice of cake might be more enjoyable."

"It's got chocolate bits in the icing," Remus said. "Let's go. Cake first, dance after."

I chuckled and we got a slice of cake each. This was my third slice, and from what I'd witnessed, Remus's fifth. I wouldn't judge, however. We sat at one of the round tables set up and began to eat, watching the couples dance. James was attempting conversation with Petunia, who looked primly away and ignored him entirely. Lily was scowling while Sirius cackled. Peter danced with Pandora, and Yumi with Xeno, and Frank Longbottom with my mother. Molly Weasley danced with Gideon Prewett, while Fabian danced with

"Weird, isn't it, how weddings bring complete strangers within a foot of each other?"

Remus chuckled at my question. "Certainly abnormal."

"So, what do you think of the wedding so far?"

He shrugged, enjoying the cake. "The chocolate- er, cake- is good, my friends are happy, there are people dancing, and I can almost forget we're in the middle of a war. I think we should have more weddings. Or just parties in general. Food, dancing, and laughter. I like it."

A thought crossed my mind that it was also dangerous- a bunch of wizards and witches gathered in one place where they would be vulnerable, completely unaware of their surroundings. I suddenly wanted to get my broom and fly up on the roof and keep watch. I shrugged the thoughts away, but a few flashbacks persisted. The time on the train, the quidditch game, the shadow in the alley near my mother's flat… All times there should've been no danger.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked. "A shadow just passed over your face."

I shook my head. "Dark thoughts, that's all. I'd like to forget about it."

"Try chocolate."

I grinned. "We're going to have a good time at Hogwarts, I think. Any moment when things get dark, you'll just throw chocolate my way."

He grinned back, and forked in another bite of cake. "It works, doesn't it?"

I took a bite of cake, rich and creamy with little flakes of chocolate, and had to agree with him.

Remus and I danced, and then I danced with a few others. At a quarter to midnight, James and Lily looked ready to be alone, and though the party was enjoyable I wouldn't begrudge them alone-time on their wedding night. The guests were sent home and Remus, Sirius, and I cleaned up. My mother watched in wonder and then placed the leftover cake in the Potters' fridge. Afterward, we all four headed back to the cottage.

Once we got inside, Sirius and I cleaned up the living room and set out a few blankets. My mother would be sleeping in our bed, because I wouldn't willingly sleep in a bed while she laid on our small couch; likewise, Sirius wouldn't sleep on a couch while I was on the floor, so I took the couch and he laid out a few blankets on the floor. My mother hugged me goodnight after a quick tour of the place; she approved of the cottage, saying it was quaint and surprisingly neat. She retired shortly after; she was in her late 40's, and had no interest in staying awake through the night.

Remus, Sirius, and I sat in the living room a while longer, talking about the wedding and laughing and placing bets on how long before Potter Jr. would come along. Sirius bet the kid would be here in nine months and James would name it after himself; Remus argued Lily would probably want to make some credit to Fleamont and Euphemia, since they had taken her in when she had no one. I thought they would likely continue Lily's family tradition of floral names, and Lily would probably incorporate some of the unique Potter names as well.

"Strange to think she's a Potter now," Sirius said. "Feels like we're all a bunch of Potters at this point, but she's got the name and everything."

I shuddered mockingly. "Please don't call me a Potter, Sirius."

"How about a Black?"

" _You_ don't even like being a Black."

"Fair point." He hummed softly in thought. "My mother would just _implode_ if I took a different name. But anyway, Hazel, when do I get to make you a Black?"

I chuckled lightly. "We'll talk about that later."

"Well, I'm off to bed." Remus stood and stretched, and looked over at Sirius and I, snuggled on the couch like a couple of owlets.

"Second to last night like this for a while," I said, meeting his eyes. "Weird, isn't it?"

Sirius pulled me tighter against his side. "Do you have to go? Both of you?"

Remus smiled gently at his friend. "It's really only a few months, Sirius."

"I'm tired of spending 'a few months' apart from Hazel. Feels like she's never home."

"I've been here all summer!"

"Only a 'few months.'"

Remus looked out one of the windows into the night. "We'll come visit often, Sirius, and you can do the same. We're supposed to be staying in a cottage in Hogsmeade; you can apparate there, and we'll write often."

Sirius groaned and hid his face in my neck, muffled by my hair. "Why can't I just come with you?"

"Because you have things of your own to do," I reminded him. "Where's that Gryffindor bravery?"

"It's there; it's just masked by layers of neediness and abandonment issues."

"I'll leave this one to you, Hazel," Remus said, laughing lightly. He started down the hallway. "Goodnight, you two."

"Goodnight, Remus."

"Night."

I leaned over and kissed the top of Sirius's head, and then whispered, "Someday."

He looked up at me with hope shining brilliantly in his cinder eyes. His voice was barely a breath. "Really?"

I kissed him, long and sweet, and then repeated, "Someday. When the time is right."

 **XXXXX**

 _1 Sep 2017_

 _Nineteen years later..._

It's the very last day mentioned in the Harry Potter books. I wasn't actually alive for the first seven years of those adventures; I was born after the Second Wizarding War had ended. However, I'm alive for the _end_ of it all- and that's an odd feeling. Whether you accept the "nineteen years later" as canon or have your own ideas about what happened after Hogwarts, whether you loved _The Cursed Child_ or hated it, today is the date J.K. Rowling last wrote of.

So here's a little Jily fluff, and some Hazel/Sirius fluff, and some Remus/chocolate fluff (we all know his true soulmate). I just finished watching the first movie while babysitting; child's gone and now I'm watching the seventh. Ohhh, the feels.

Next chapter, we return to Hogwarts, where we will always be home.

(I am swamped in feels guys lmao)

Anyway. Hope you enjoyed; don't forget to review!~


	36. Chapter Thirty-Six

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

The first week at Hogwarts was uneventful. Dumbledore greeted us at Hogsmeade and guided us to our cottage, just at the edge of the forest. We came to Hogwarts a few times during the week and were briefed on our duties for the term; we'd be standing guard most days, present during meals and quidditch games, and, if there were ever need, filling in for the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Professor Bronte had retired early, on account of so many of his prior students turning Death Eater or dropping out to fight or being fought themselves. He would be present as well, manning the posts as we did.

The first of September brought an influx of activity in our schedules; by then, I was done idling and ready to have duties fill my time. We set the final wards at the school, and Remus was assigned the train station, Bronte the gates, and I the carriages. Boyd, Ambrose, and Lewis from the quidditch team greeted me as they went by, all looking shocked and happy to see me. I smiled and nodded at them, and then Lyra Dale jumped off her carriage and came over to me.

"Lyra!" I greeted her, and she hugged me tightly.

"Hazel! I'm so glad you're okay!"

I realized then I had a window into my godson's life- Lyra. I didn't have to speak to Cassi or Amos, but I could still check on Cedric. I hugged her back. "It's good to see you!" She pulled back and I smiled at her. "How are things?"

"I'm a sixth-year now and captain of the quidditch team," she said, grinning brightly. "And I have the cutest nephew in the world. Cedric's almost a year old now, and he's fat as can be and has _so_ much hair." Her brow pulled together. "How come you never visit? Cassi just said you two had a falling out."

I debated my answer, and then said lightly, "Because of the dangerous work I do; I don't want to lead any trouble to Cassi and Amos."

"Oh. Well, you could still visit now and then."

I gave her a tight smile. "Maybe. Anyway, get back on your carriage and move on; I'm working, you know."

"What are you doing?"

"Auror stuff."

She chuckled. "That's not even a little vague, you know. Well, if you need help, call for me!"

She ran off to her carriage and carried on down the path. I watched the rest come in, seeing the thestrals pull the carriages. I had never seen them before except in textbooks; they seemed interesting creatures, if a bit morbid.

The first meal taken at the professors' table was odd, only because I was eating in the Great Hall and not at the Ravenclaw table. Remus and I sat with Professor Bronte and a few other aurors Dumbledore had brought; one I recognized from the auror training program, Douglas Graeme, the one I'd known to be a know-it-all. Well, he was a competent one, at least. The other two introduced themselves, Samson Abbott and Sana Patil. Both seemed nice; Abbott was a Hufflepuff who became an auror when his wife's half-blood sister murdered, and Patil was a quiet but fierce girl who occasionally entered the conversation with some intellectual tidbit that swayed debates entirely. I liked her.

After dinner, Remus and I stayed at the castle till midnight, making sure everyone was in bed and no after-hours adventures were taking place. I checked the Room of Requirement, and found no students but the Marauder's Map was still in place. It was a shame we'd never gotten to use it before, but it seemed a great tool now.

I pocketed the map and returned to pacing the corridors; when I found Remus, I handed the map to him, explaining my plan to use it throughout our time here. His eyes gleamed with nostalgia at seeing it again, as my own had upon revisiting the Room of Requirement.

I checked the dungeons and the astronomy tower while Remus checked common rooms and courtyards, and then we met back at the front door; McGonagall saw us off to Hogsmeade, and our first official day was done.

 **~X~**

The gathering night was marked with pale rays of dying sun and bruised blue-black clouds hiding the sunset. Early fallen leaves swept along in the breeze skittered and danced along the open grounds of Hogwarts, outside the hall where I sat on the steps. The lake glittered black and ominous beyond the Forbidden Forest, a hazel at its edge drawing up memories. This moment of quiet solitude had nothing to do with watching the grounds, and everything to do with seeing them. It had been a long time, it felt like.

"Small in both forms but big in spirit, the lightness of her hair is matched only by her heart. Darkness grips her in its clutches but she will shine through."

The voice caught me off guard. I whirled around to see a woman with large curls and larger circle-framed glasses. "I'm sorry, what?"

"O-oh! I'm so sorry, did I say that out loud?" She adjusted her glasses and then held out a hand. "I'm Sybil Trelawney. I'm the new Divination professor."

"Hazel Drummond." I shook her hand, feeling a pang in my heart. _That was Harley's post for so long._ I had heard Dumbledore found a stand-in for the previous year, and had only just found an official teacher for the post. This must be her.

"And what do you do here, my dear?" She asked, my hand still clasped in hers, her eyes wide and hopeful. "I'm terribly sorry but I can't seem to remember anyone's job from the information packet."

"I'm just an auror protecting the school," I reassured her, and then withdrew my hand and turned to looked back out over the grounds. "You don't look much older than me; have you missed it here?"

"Terribly," Sybil said, and let out a singing sigh. "Anyhow, do you know where Professor Kettleburn stays? I- I'm supposed to introduce myself so I can start getting to know people."

I pointed down by the trees, flickers of memories in my mind. "You see that hut, right down there by the trees?"

Sybil nodded, looking nervous.

"That's his hut. He's incredibly kind, Sybil; there's really nothing to worry about."

Sybil nodded again, and placed a hand on my shoulder, making eye contact. "Th- thank you, my dear."

She vanished down the path and I shuddered lightly. Eccentric woman, to say the least. A few minutes later Professor Bronte- no, he was just Carlisle now, no longer a professor- appeared next to me, drinking some dark strong-scented liquid out of a mug.

"Interesting woman, isn't she?" He asked, and I sighed, leaning on the archway.

"I think you have to be that eccentric to be any good at divination."

Bronte was quiet for a moment. And then, softly, "It's weird to think someone's replaced Harley. I knew they would have, but… Well, he was my friend. We'd talk and laugh about our students and take a drink at the Three Broomsticks together. Now he's been replaced."

I looked over at Bronte, at the real sorrow glimmering in his eyes, and felt a sting in my heart. "It's awful, I know."

"He talked a lot about you, Drummond," Bronte added. "I know we're not supposed to pick favorites, but we absolutely did. I would never tell them but I loved Potter and Black. And Evans, so quiet yet strong. They worry me to death off in the Order. I knew from the day the Daily Prophet started calling it a war and those two showed up in my class with a different light in their eyes that they would join the Order at the first possible opportunity. I'm not sure how much you remember that day you burst into Dumbledore's office about the phoenix sign; we knew you would be in, too, we just didn't know you'd be so prominent. I was in there that day begging him not to let any students join until they were out of Hogwarts and of age."

Listening to him talk brought back memories of the days I had _begged_ to be in the Order. In retrospect, I should likely regret making the decision to join, given all the grief it's caused me- I've lost my best friend and my godson, stopped talking to certain friends and visiting my mother, broken up with Sirius at one point because of a mission, and experienced horrible torture. But it also felt like being right where I was supposed to be- fighting for good, at all costs. I knew it wouldn't be easy. I had smelled the flames and felt the pain months before even joining, and had known as I'd hobbled through the woods that night that I would do _anything_ to prevent anyone else having to make such a trek, or witness such atrocities. No, I couldn't regret joining the Order- and the others wouldn't, either.

"We're so young, Bronte," I said. "I'm only eighteen now, but I would never encourage a sixteen year old girl to join the Order. And yet if she felt the way that I did then, if she felt the same pull in her heart, the same undeniable need to get out there and take all the pain to stop this war- I'd know there was nothing I could do to stop her from joining the fighting. The best thing we can do is protect those around us, and make sure no one ever feels alone."

The word left a bitter taste on my tongue, rang hollow in my throat, and called to mind dark flashbacks of being alone. It was a nostalgic day.

"As a professor, we try so hard to protect our students," Bronte said. "That day on the quidditch pitch felt like a failure on all our parts. But it's true there's nothing we can do to stop you- any of you- from fighting if that's what you're determined to do." He sighed heavily and took a long drink out of his mug, the bottom tilting up, and then eyed the incoming storm on the horizon. "If there's anything I can do for you or Lupin, let me know. I'm here for the same reasons you two are. Oh, and if he needs any help around the full moon- don't be afraid to come to my office."

I gasped, and Bronte was already walking away. I watched him go for a minute, and then turned to see Sybil had just reached Kettleburn's hut. With one last sweeping gaze over the horizon, I headed back inside.

 **~X~**

The fire crackled and hopped, a chunk of log shifting down in the flame with a resounding thud. The recliner I sat in creaked softly as some muggle radio Remus had brought played a light tune, sounding to be from the 50's. The cottage was quiet, peaceful, and words were stuck in my head.

 _Small in both forms but big in spirit, the lightness of her hair is matched only by her heart. Darkness grips her in its clutches but she will shine through._

"Hey, Remus," I spoke up, and the blue-eyed man didn't look up from his book.

"Hmm?"

"Have you met the new Divination professor yet?"

I tried to keep my tone unassuming, but my words were taut enough that Remus looked up. "Trelawney? Yes, I met her at breakfast."

"What do you think of her?"

At this, he marked his page and closed his book. "Very… Eccentric. She looked at me like we knew each other. Why? Did she say something to you?"

"I don't think she meant to," I replied. "She said some words in a tone that indicated she was speaking what she sensed, and she sensed my past and that I'm an animagus."

"Oh."

"She's more powerful than she looks. I think it's why she seems so timid and trembling- she's got a lot going on beneath all those curls." I paused, and then suddenly didn't want to talk about that anymore; Trelawney's intuitive knowledge of me put me on edge, made me wonder what else she knew. "And then Bronte came out and was talking to me." I met Remus's dark blue eyes. "He said if you ever need help with anything around the full moon, that we shouldn't be afraid to come to him."

Remus's jaw dropped. "He _knows?"_

"Yes, but that could be valuable," I said. "If you want, I can talk to him, explain the potion and everything."

"N-no," Remus sighed, looking at the fire. "I'll do it. Anything else weird tonight with Hogwarts professors?"

I thought back, and couldn't suppress a grin. "I think Slughorn had a bit too much butterbeer; did you see the way he looked at McGonagall?"

"Merlin's beard, Hazel!" Remus chucked a pillow at me as I laughed. "That's disgusting!"

I only laughed harder.

 **~X~**

 _7_ _th_ _September 1978_

 _Dearest Sirius,_

 _Being back at Hogwarts feels undeniably like coming home. Do you remember that night outside the Ravenclaw common room, when you asked what memory had drawn up my patronus that powerfully? We'd both agreed it was the first time we stepped into Hogwarts. Coming back is just as wondrous, though for different reasons. These walls feel like safety, and knowing I have Dumbledore within walking distance at all times, that soothes some part of me that was rocked by… Last spring._

 _I miss you, though. And James and Lily. Remus is great company, but it's not the same. I miss having all of you. Well, I miss a lot of things; I thought about it earlier and we've all lost a great deal already. You've lost your family, though, so I suppose that's the most. We've gained a great deal, too- I've gotten you out of all this conflict, and honestly, it's worth it to know I get to come home to you. Watching James and Lily at their wedding, two people who loved each other a great deal, surrounded by friends who've become more like family… I want that someday. Not till after the war, but someday._

 _God, I'm nostalgic tonight. It's been a weird evening. I met the new Divination professor, and talked to Bronte as a non-professor. Never let anyone know I told you this, but he confessed you and James were his favorite students. If you tell anyone I told you that I'll deny it and burn this letter._

 _Anyhow. I love you, darling, and I miss you. The first Hogsmeade trip is on the 16_ _th_ _; if you aren't busy, you should see about swinging by then._

 _I hope all is well. Stay safe._

 _All my love,_

 _Hazel._


End file.
